Chapter 5: Competing Frequencies
What should I do⊠Kishine-san totally beat me to a pulp...
Yesterday, I tried to clear my nameâto show Kishine-san that I wasn't some useless weirdo by letting her see just how cool and mysterious I could be.
...But what actually happened was, she picked apart the way I call myself
, used my own words to one-up me with a âyouâre so cuteâ power move, and in the end, I had to flee the battlefield with teary eyes (internally, anyway).It was a total, crushing defeat. Far from clearing up the suspicion that Iâm a screw-up, I ended up slapping the label right on myself. Now Iâm soaked in the shame of being full-blown, top-to-bottom, Class A hopeless.
...What if Kishine-sanâs already given up on me?
âShirogane-san wasnât mysterious at all. ...Too bad. Well, whatever. If youâre not mysterious, then youâre just Mistake Rust-gane-san, covered in disgrace. Go home and soak in some
 or something.âIf she ever said something like thatâespecially after becoming my one and only friendâI would probably have a full-on mental breakdown. That kind of future canât be allowed to happen. Ever.
Yesterday, before I made my tearful escape, I anxiously told her, âLetâs meet again tomorrow, okay? Iâll be waiting!â I wonder if sheâll come up to the rooftop...
When I slid open the classroom door, there she wasâKishine-san turned to look my way again today.
âGood morning, Shirogane-san.â
âMn, morn⊠ing. Kishine.â
She greeted me with a gentle smile.
There wasnât even the tiniest hint that she thought I was Mistake Rust-gane, and I was so relieved.
âŠWell, okay, deep down I already knew that someone as kind as herâsomeone who would befriend a supreme communication failure like meâwouldnât say something that cruel.
But it wasnât until I saw her with my own eyes that I could finally relax.
Kishine-san, in her usual good mood, is once again a wonderfully kind girl to me today.
And it seems like my mysterious aura is still intact, so thatâs another relief!
âŠIf sheâs not suspicious, then it must mean Iâm good to go, right?
Today, I decided to work out a strategy before heading to the rooftop.
If I mess up again, I might lose my mysterious vibe completely. And that would just destroy my pride. I want to be the kind of mysterious girl who gives people butterflies in their stomachs!
So this time, I stopped by the library before going to the rooftop. I wanted to be absolutely readyâto present myself as the perfect, flawless mysterious girl.
I want Kishine-san to say âyouâre amazing,â not just âyouâre cuteâ!
Thatâs why I took a seat by the window in the library, holding a Dazai Osamu short story collection in my hands.
And what was I planning to do with that? A mysterious mindfulness ritual, of course.
Mysterious mindfulness is all about radiating an enigmatic aura that keeps people at a distance while still drawing their gazeâlike a silent incantation.
...Okay, maybe that sounds a little overdramatic. But basically, itâs about getting myself into a mysteriously alluring headspace ahead of time, to sharpen my mystique.
What does it involve, exactly? Well, for starters, I try acting in ways that a mysterious girl probably would. Youâve got to start with the image, right?
Standing alone on the rooftop like usualâthatâs part of it too.
Other options include muttering cryptic things under your breath, doing stuff that seems âdifferentâ (like pretending to read serious literature). Thatâs what mysterious mindfulness is all about.
âŠSo yeah, basically the same as always.
The only difference today is that Kishine-san probably went up to the rooftop first, so I had to prep somewhere else.
Thatâs why I chose the library. When it comes to mysterious girl habitats at school, itâs either the rooftop, the library, or some obscure clubroom.
So, I came here to raise my mysterious stats before heading up to the rooftop!
Alright, time to pretend Iâm reading
and focus. Kishine-sanâs probably waiting, so ten minutes should be enough!âŠâŠ
âŠOh noâwait, crap!?
The book was easier to read than I expected, and I totally got absorbed in it!
Ack! Itâs already been thirty minutes since I started reading! This is bad!
What if Kishine-san already left...?
Ugh, curse you, Dazai Osamu!
âŠActually, this wasnât as gloomy as I thought. He wrote teenage girls surprisingly charmingly. Maybe Iâll binge-read his stuff tomorrow too...
But anyway! Back to the rooftopâwait, huh?
ââŠâŠâ
At some point, a girl with short, light blue hair had sat down across from me at the same table, silently flipping through the pages of her book.
But at that moment, the girl wasnât looking at her bookâshe was looking up at me.
ââŠWhat is it?â
Did I drop something?
Thinking that might be the case, I asked her. In response, she opened her mouth in a flat, emotionless tone.
âDo you like Dazai?â
ââŠA little.â
âI seeâŠâ
She closed her book and stood up, then walked over to where I was.
âYou have good taste.â
Still expressionless, she suddenly took my hand and started enthusiastically shaking it up and down.
ââWait⊠is this some new breed of mysterious girl!?
"See you tomorrow"âthose words from Shirogane made my heart leap as I came to school.
It had been a long time since Iâd genuinely looked forward to the next day.
This time, I told myself I had to be careful not to tease her too much.
As usual, the classroom door opened right on time.
âGood morning, Shirogane-san.â
âNn⊠morn⊠ing. Kishine.â
Shirogane-san stepped into the classroom and greeted me without hesitation.
It felt like the distance between us had shrunk just a littleâand that made me happy.
Today felt like it was going to be even better than before.
Then came after school.
As expected, before I realized it, Shirogane-san had already vanished from the classroom.
She really is light on her feetâlike a cat.
I doubt anyone else even noticed sheâd left. Itâs not a big deal, but the thought filled me with a kind of smug satisfaction.
I felt like Iâd become the person who knew the most about Shirogane-san at this schoolâand I was proud of that.
Without worrying about the little things, I headed to the rooftop with a light step in my heart.
Clangâthe sound of metal scraping as I opened the rooftop door.
The moment it opened, a wash of blue filled my vision.
From the dim stairwell, I stepped into a world completely transformed.
And thereâshe should have been thereâŠ
ââŠShirogane-san?â
But the one who was supposed to be waiting for me⊠wasnât there.
I looked around, but there was no sign of her.
Not by the fence where she usually stood, not on top of the water tank, not even down on the ground below.
âMaybe⊠she hasnât come yet.â
If I canât find her even after looking around, thatâs probably the case.
âŠMaybe Iâll just wait a bit.
Sheâll come eventuallyâIâm sure of it.
Today, I walked up to the fence myself and looked up at the sky.
Just like Shirogane-san always does.
A soft, pale blue stretched out endlessly above.
Somehow, its clarity reminded me of her.
I wonder what she felt, looking up at that sky.
Did she thinkâmaybeâI could walk on it?
ââŠMaybe so.â
Clear and bright, but not cold.
If the sky resembles Shirogane-san, then maybe I wonât be turned away.
ââAnd today, I too felt⊠like I might be able to walk on air.
But even after waiting thirty minutes, Shirogane-san never came.
As I stood there waiting, the sun tilted westward, and twilight began to creep in.
Still, she hadnât arrived.
For a moment, the thought crossed my mind: Maybe sheâs not coming at all.
ButâŠ
ââŠShe did say, âSee you tomorrow,â right?â
Yesterday, Shirogane-san had looked so adorably sincere when she said that.
Recalling her expression, I decided to believeâit couldnât be that she wouldnât show up.
But if thatâs true, then⊠where is she now?
The more I wondered what Shirogane-san might be doing, the more restless I became.
ââŠIâll go look for her.â
My feet started moving on their own.
I just wanted to talk to herâsoon.
And so, I searched around the school building, convinced she was still somewhere on campus.
Eventually, I finally found herâ
ButâŠ
For some reason, Shirogane-san was talking with some girl I didnât recognize.
And they looked⊠oddly close.
ââHuh?
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