Chapter 7: If You're Not a Lesbian, Then Why Are We Sending Signals to Each Other?

What was Futaba-san thinking, treating Kishine-san like a lesbian?

…When Kishine-san said I was her number one, my heart did flutter. But just from that, calling her a lesbian is way too mean.

Maybe because of that, she came to the rooftop right after, but she’s been even quieter than usual. She won’t really meet my eyes, either.

There’s no way Kishine-san is a lesbian, so there’s no reason for things to feel awkward between us…

“Kishine.”

“Shirogane-san?—Whoa!?”

I didn’t want things to be awkward between us, so I stretched up and patted her on the head, to tell her “don’t worry about it.”

I can say her name without any trouble, but I can’t even bring myself to say something simple like “I understand,” so I thought if I could get the message across through my actions, then maybe that would be enough.

Stretching, reaching up.

Since I’m short, it’s less like patting and more like giving her a few light taps, though.

But I really gave it my best shot.

“…Are you trying to cheer me up, Shirogane-san?”

Kishine-san gently supported me as I wobbled a bit. She seemed kind of shocked by the sudden move.

If my mouth were more honest, I could’ve just told her I was trying to comfort her…

“…Not really.”

But as you can see, my mouth is absolutely terrible at being honest, so I had no choice but to rely on body language.

…Doing something like that out of nowhere, even if we are friends—what if she’s weirded out?

I was the one who started it, but now I’m suddenly getting nervous. I touched her so much all of a sudden—what if she thinks I am a lesbian!?

“So Shirogane-san was a lesbian all along. All that expressionlessness was just her clenching her facial muscles to keep her lust from leaking out. No wonder she didn’t seem mysterious at all—I always thought she smelled kinda gay. ──Can you just never talk to me again?”

If Kishine-san, someone so important to me, ever said something like that, I’d be forced to pursue a new career in the rooftop 15-meter diving event, with nothing but reincarnation to hope for.

That’s definitely a future I want to avoid at all costs.

My fear and anxiety ended up overwhelming my concern, and I stopped.

Because I’m not a lesbian—I’m just your average, rooftop-dwelling mysterious girl with a totally normal sexuality.

…Come to think of it, I’ve never really given it serious thought, but do I like boys or girls more in this life? For me, dating a boy sounds kind of difficult, so maybe girls…? Just maybe.

But I’m not a lesbian, okay!?

“…Shirogane-san, why’d you stop?”

So finding out that she wasn’t as put off as I expected really put me at ease.

Kishine-san’s tone even had a hint of disappointment in it. Her eyebrows dipped slightly—I could tell she was reluctant to let go.

…Now that I’ve come back to my senses, I’m way too embarrassed to pat her head properly from the front.

“Mm.”

“I see.”

I stop stretching and try to step back to avoid being mistaken for a lesbian. …But for some reason, Kishine-san won’t let go of me.

“…Kishine?”

I look at her, wondering what’s going on, and she quickly averts her eyes. But still, she doesn’t let go.

Wh-what’s going on here?

Kishine-san doesn’t seem mad or anything.

“Um… hey, Shirogane-san.”

But something about her feels nervous. I can sense it.

She takes a light breath and looks me straight in the eyes.

“I… I want to call you by your first name instead of your last.”

Huh?

“──Not ‘Shirogane-san,’ but… is it okay if I call you Tsubasa?”

Whoa… ah…

---

Right after rescuing Shirogane-san from Futaba-san’s clutches, just like we promised yesterday, the two of us came up to the rooftop.

But… something feels different from how things were before.

No—it’s not the atmosphere that’s changed. It’s me.

“──Lesbian?”

After Futaba-san said something so weird, I’ve been feeling completely out of place. I can’t stop worrying if Shirogane-san thinks I’m strange now.

I’d planned to talk to her today about what I’ve been thinking regarding that whole past-life thing…

…But everything got all tangled up thanks to Futaba-san.

She’s the worst. Seriously, the absolute worst.

“Kishine.”

So when Shirogane-san spoke to me, it made me really happy. I tried to respond—but then I realized she wasn’t just calling my name.

“Shirogane-san?—Whoa!?”

All of a sudden, Shirogane-san placed her hand on my head.

Then, slowly, she started to stroke it.

Stretching up on her tiptoes with everything she had, nngh, nngh, like she was trying her hardest. It felt like she was comforting me.

…My chest felt like it lightened, just a little.

That earnestness of hers soaked right into my heart.

She’s worried about me. She cares about me. The warmth of Shirogane-san’s kindness seeped into me.

“Are you… worried about me, Shirogane-san?”

Before I even realized it, I blurted out something kind of clumsy, like I was begging her to say yes.

“…Not really.”

Even though I knew that’s the kind of curt reply she’d give, I still felt disappointed.

…Because a small part of me was hoping she might actually say, “Yeah.”

But even as she denied it, Shirogane-san kept patting my head. That made my heart tighten up, and happiness bubbled up inside me. I closed my eyes and let myself sink into the feeling.

…She really is kind.

“…Shirogane-san, you’re stopping?”

When her hand quietly left my head, I still wanted to feel her warmth. …Just for that moment, it had felt like she was being kind only to me.

“Mm.”

“I see.”

But it seemed like that was the end for her. She stopped stretching and gently began to pull away. The Shirogane-san who had just been close and warm was about to leave.

──Tsubasa.

Even though she wasn’t here, I could hear Futaba-san’s voice echo in my ears, clinging to me.

“…Kishine?”

Before I realized it, I was holding onto Shirogane-san’s uniform, not letting go.

…I couldn’t look her in the eyes.

Because I was too embarrassed.

I’d reached out to stop her on impulse, like a child throwing a tantrum, just because I didn’t want her to leave.

──Tsubasa.

And yet again, I could hear that smug, mean-spirited voice of Futaba-san calling her name.

Shut up, Futaba-san.

You just popped up out of nowhere and got all cozy with Shirogane-san…

──I wanted to be the one to call her by that name first.

“Um, hey… Shirogane-san.”

Thinking about Futaba-san made my stomach churn. The feeling of not wanting to lose to her kept growing and growing inside me.

…Yeah. I’ve made up my mind.

I took a breath to steady myself and looked straight at Shirogane-san.

“I… want to call you by your first name instead of your last.”

I said what I was feeling, honestly.

That I was jealous of Futaba-san.

“──Is it okay if I call you Tsubasa, not Shirogane-san?”

What I really wanted to say was, “I want to be special to you.”

So I told her—without hiding anything.

I could feel my own voice trembling.

Even I realized I was saying something that gave Futaba-san’s teasing a strange sense of truth.

If she says no to this… I…

I looked into her clear eyes, like I was standing before the Virgin Mary. Eyes so transparent, I felt like I could be drawn in, like I was floating in the sky.

The sunset painted everything in red.

Her figure, too—it reminded me of the day we first met.

Time stretched, each second expanding.

The dusk felt like it could last forever.

And then, in that fleeting moment—

“…Okay. If it’s you, Kishine.”

With those words, I felt like the ticking of the second hand had resumed its proper rhythm again.

From my chest, emotion slowly seeped out.

A ticklish, pounding, want-to-scream kind of feeling.

It spread through me, filling my whole chest.

“T-Tsubasa…-chan…”

I still couldn’t bring myself to drop the honorific like Futaba-san did, but I said her name—this precious girl’s name—aloud.

“Yeah.”

She gave a small but definite reply to my call.

“Tsubasa-chan!”

“Kishine.”

Hearing her respond the way she always does, using my name, made me so happy that I called her again.

“I think… I’d like you to call me Rio.”

The words just slipped out, carried by a wish that maybe, just maybe, we could keep calling each other by name like this.

“…You’re Kishine.”

It looked like it was still too soon for that. She didn’t call me Rio.

A little disappointing—but thanks to that, I managed to calm down a bit.

I thought I was someone who never really wanted much out of life… but now, it feels like I’m becoming a little greedy.