Chapter 107: Birthday (Part 5)
I'm Alicia!
I'm always surrounded by smiling faces.
But... there are times when that's not the case.
“Mom, what’s wrong...?”
Mom was quietly crying.
“Are you hurt? Is it hard? Are you okay, Mom...?”
When Mom cries, I get sad too, and I feel like crying.
“I’m sorry, Alicia. I’m fine... I was just remembering something from long ago.”
“Mom... did something sad happen?”
“...No, what I can remember now are only the happy things.”
“If they were happy things, why do tears come out...?”
“That’s right... Maybe when you’re older, Alicia, you’ll understand.”
I don’t really get it. Grown-ups are so complicated...
“Don’t cry, Mom...”
I gave Mom a tight hug.
It’s a happiness magic passed down from Mom.
“I’m not crying anymore... Thank you, Alicia.”
Mom hugged me tightly in return,
and I was wrapped in that comforting scent that makes me feel safe.
Whenever you’re sad, I’ll always be there to hold you close,
so please... don’t cry, Mom...
—I think I was dreaming.
I don't remember the contents. Lately, I’ve only been jolting awake from nightmares, so at least it must not have been one.
“Nn...”
I opened my eyes groggily.
A soft, sweet scent of Yuna lingered, reminding me that we’d fallen asleep last night holding each other.
Yuna wasn’t there. She must have already gotten up and left. The bedside clock showed that school had already started long ago.
For a moment, school crossed my mind, but I just couldn’t bring myself to go. My body felt awful from a messed-up sleep cycle, mental fatigue, and the second day of my period. And more than anything—
“...Alicia.”
I’d lost count of how many times I’d called out that name. But no voice ever answered back, and I could only feel disappointment.
This marked the third morning without Alicia, counting from the day off three days ago.
“Even though... today’s my birthday...”
What in the world happened to Alicia...?
I closed my eyes and hugged myself tightly. The only thing keeping me grounded was the knowledge that Alicia still existed within me.
Lying in bed, with no motivation to do anything, I heard a soft knock at the door. I didn’t even have the energy to respond, so I just stayed spaced out, and the door quietly opened.
“Alice... are you awake...?”
The one who stepped into the room was Yuna—who should have been at school by now. Her voice trembled slightly, and there was a tension in it, like she was holding something back.
“Nn...”
Suspicious of her strange demeanor, I turned my body toward her and gave a short reply. That alone should’ve told her that I was awake but had no energy to get up.
But Yuna, with a hand pressed nervously to her chest, didn’t seem like she intended to leave. Apparently, she had something she needed to say.
“Um... what about Alicia...?”
She asked timidly, and I shook my head faintly in response. Yuna looked at me, then shut her eyes tightly, as if trying to hold something back.
That look on her face gave me pause.
Of course, I knew Yuna was genuinely worried about Alicia. But up until now, she’d always done her best to stay cheerful around me. I figured it was her way of trying not to make me anxious.
“...What’s wrong, Yuna?”
But now, the Yuna trembling quietly in front of me didn’t seem to have the strength to keep up that act, and I started to feel concerned.
“Dad said... he needs to talk to you. So, if you can get up, he wants you to come down to the living room...”
To be honest, sitting up was exhausting.
But there was no way I could turn down a request from my little sister when she had that kind of expression on her face.
So, I simply nodded to Yuna in reply.
I had her go on ahead while I stopped by the bathroom before heading to the living room. I didn’t bother changing—since I planned to spend the whole day in bed anyway, I stayed in my pajamas.
When I arrived, it wasn’t just Dad waiting in the living room. Mom and Yuna were also seated at the table.
“...What’s going on?”
I asked as I took a seat.
Everyone looked deeply troubled, and the tense atmosphere made me catch my breath.
“Alice, there’s something we have to talk to you about,” Mom began.
Dad followed her lead, speaking slowly and heavily.
“...Alicia might not come back.”
Just yesterday, they’d been encouraging me with the hope that Alicia would return. But now Dad was saying the exact opposite.
“Alicia’s soul... is fated to disappear.”
Those words hit me so hard my mind went blank.
Alicia’s soul... is going to disappear?
No way...
“Two souls can’t exist in one body. So, as your soul continues to settle into that body, Alicia’s soul loses its place... and eventually vanishes.”
My brain refused to comprehend what Dad was saying.
That couldn’t be true. There’s no way I could accept something like that.
“What are you talking about, Dad...? Stop it, that’s not funny...”
It felt like I’d been hit in the head with a hammer. My vision blurred, and I clutched my head in pain.
“I’m sorry, but this isn’t a joke or a lie.”
I looked around at Mom and Yuna as if pleading for help, but all they did was watch me with pained expressions. Neither of them denied Dad’s words.
“...How do you even know that?”
Even then, I resisted. I tried to reject what Dad was saying.
“Because I heard it from her.”
But Dad’s response was clear.
“From Alicia...? No way... since when...?”
“From the very beginning. She knew this would happen from the moment you returned to this world and took over her body.”
“That... can’t be...”
My head pounded like an alarm bell ringing at full volume.
“What your father is saying is true, Alice...”
Mom confirmed Dad’s words.
Mom knew too? ...And Yuna?
“So... that means I was the only one who didn’t know anything...?”
“...That’s right.”
That makes me feel like... some kind of fool.
“Why... why didn’t you tell me!?”
“—!?”
Yuna’s eyes widened, and her chair made a sharp noise as it scraped against the floor.
Mom and Dad just looked at me, their expressions unchanged.
“...Because that was Alicia’s wish.”
Dad continued.
“She didn’t want to be pitied. She just wanted to spend her remaining time with you as a normal girl. And we agreed to help her do that.”
“No... that’s just...”
Memories of the days I spent with Alicia flashed through my mind.
All those ordinary moments we shared—what was Alicia feeling as she experienced them through me?
Alicia, who had lived her whole life as a shrine maiden in the temple, never knowing her parents, devoting herself solely to her duty.
And after fulfilling that duty by defeating the Demon Lord, the only thing she was granted... was to spend a short time in a world where no one knew her, together with me.
“That’s it! If I disappear, then Alicia can be saved...!”
This body belongs to Alicia. It only makes sense to return it to her.
For me to live while sacrificing her—that's just wrong.
“That’s not possible. There’s no known way to extract a soul from a body.”
“Then I’ll die—”
“Don’t say something so stupid!”
The air trembled.
Dad’s voice rang out, firm and filled with anger, and I shrank back at the force of it.
“...A soul only disappears after the death of the body. If you die, Alicia will die at the same time.”
“No way...”
Alicia’s going to disappear because of me, and there’s nothing I can do...
The helplessness welled up in my chest, and I found myself lashing out, turning my frustration toward Dad.
“How can you stay so calm, Dad!? Is it because you didn’t spend much time with Alicia? Are you saying you don’t really care about her!?”
“Alice, that’s enough!”
Mom tried to stop me, but Dad raised a hand to quiet her and kept talking.
“If you asked me which of you I care about more—Alicia or you—then I’d say it’s you.”
“—! You’re the worst, Dad!”
I jumped out of my chair and ran out of the living room.
I dashed up the stairs, locked myself in my room, and collapsed facedown onto the bed.
“Alicia...”
My mind was a mess, unraveling at the seams.
When I close my eyes, I can still feel her presence within me... but maybe I’ll never get to speak to her again.
That thought made the tears start to flow.
“Ugh... ngh...”
It felt like I was being crushed by the loneliness of being left completely alone in this world.
I don’t want to see anyone... I don’t know what I can believe anymore.
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