Vol 5: Chapter 3: Aching
The Holy Knight's Peaceful and Twisted Life
Aching
I was alone in bed in my room at the inn, struggling to endure the pain.
My body was throbbing uncontrollably, and if I wasn't careful my shorts would quickly get wet, and I had to desperately suppress the urge to unconsciously reach out for my genitals.
.....This is all the fault of that trash hero. He is the one who changed my body into this. I wasn't supposed to be this kind of woman. I'm not this disgusting woman!
At first, Chris seemed to be worried about whether to stay at the royal castle.
When I saw that, I immediately opposed it. Of course, there was also Lily-chan.
I'm still sad, and it's difficult to meet up with Finne, who is still broken, at the royal castle.
But, but...the real reason is...
--Because it makes me excited when I remember my affair with the hero.
Haha... It really makes me laugh. Even after coming this far, I'm only thinking about myself. I refused, using the fact that he was dead as an excuse, but my ugly, shameful, and disgusting body gets excited by the terrible memories of that scum. At this rate, I'm just a nymphomaniac...
At first, I didn't feel this ache... After the brainwashing was removed, I was shocked and depressed, Chris gave me a chance at atonement, I survived the Demon City, and as time passed, my body gradually became strange. No, maybe it started to become strange after I returned to the Royal Capital... What on earth is this ache?
I thought many times about taking care of it myself. But if I were to obtain pleasure from a body developed by the Hero, it would seem like I would be truly betraying Aleph... In the end, I have never said or done such a thing since the brainwashing was lifted.
I know. This is just... self-satisfaction. I gave my virginity to the hero, and after being impregnated twice... I was a traitor who had voluntarily swayed my hips on him, enjoying pleasure over and over again.
I know. But that's exactly why I don't want to betray him any more! Now that I've regained my senses, I want my heart... to be only for Aleph.
After all, I still love Aleph. My feelings haven't changed at all since I left on the journey with the hero. If I could, I'd like to start over with Aleph.
I definitely don't want that to happen. That scum has made me pregnant so many times... I'm sure Aleph will reject me...
But, Aleph. You relied on me during the battle in the Demon City. You told me that you needed my help! Ufufu! That made me so happy. It felt like I was back in the old days. ...Of course that's not the case.
Sigh, just being in this room makes me feel like I'm going crazy with dark thoughts and shameful desires...
Let's go downstairs, get some water and calm down.
As I opened the door to my room and stepped out into the hallway, I saw Aleph standing in front of Chris' room.
Huh? What business could he have in Chris's room at this time? I was wondering when the door to Chris' room opened and Aleph walked in.
...I'm sure there's an important discussion about defeating the Demon King, anyway. Anyway, I need to go get some water.
I have to go...
...Hmm, why am I eavesdropping in front of Chris' room?
I know I shouldn't do this, so why am I so worried?
"...But ...I am..."
"...Then...I will ....your Sainthood..."
He's saying something but I can't hear him very well. I need to concentrate more.
"Once I defeat the Demon King, you will become my wife!"
Eh... Aleph's voice? Is he calling Chris his wife?
Did the two of you have such a deep relationship...? Then all along this time....
"I understand. Once I defeat the Demon King... I'll marry Aleph."
Huh, Chris? ... This is definitely a proposal right?
Um, so, this is....
"Thank you, Chris! I'll definitely make you happy! How many children will you have――"
I couldn't take it anymore. Hearing that, I ran to my room.
I wonder why the tears won't stop...
That's right. I wonder why I didn't notice that.
Thinking about it, Aleph had always taken excessive care of Chris since the time of the Demon City.
That wasn't as a saint... It was as a girl.
I'm such an idiot. Who was it that chasing Aleph when I pushed him off the cliff?
It was just Chris. And Chris and Aleph were together, just the two of them, for a whole year.
…Of course they are lovers.
The pure Chris and the fearless Aleph. They are a perfect match, almost like a painting.
Ahhh... What was I expecting?
In the first place, the reason I followed Chris and the others was to atone for my sins.
Why is this so painful...? Maybe it's because I .... about Aleph after all...
During the battle at the Demon City, Aleph relied on me, so did I misunderstand?
And to think that we could become lovers again someday...what was I thinking, really?
Enough already. All I want to think about is atoning for my sins, but I hate how selfish I am.
Ah, my body is aching... This is the worst, even at a time like this. The more I feel depressed, the more the unbearable aching eats away at me.
I want Aleph to touch me. I want Aleph to love me. I want Aleph to make this throbbing stop. I want to love Aleph too. ...But it's impossible.
--Because Aleph belongs to Chris.
You can't take other people's things. If you did that, you'd be the same as Hero Scum.
So what should I do about this throbbing? What should I do...
"Why don't I just go and find a random guy walking around the capital? I'm sure he wouldn't turn me down if I asked him out."
This thought flashes into my mind for a moment.
What the hell is this? What a terrible idea. I'm just a bitch at this point...
I wonder if I've gone mad.
It's all his fault, this throbbing. Yes, it's all his fault, everything! It's the hero's fault.
Give me back... Give me back the pure me. My pure heart and body. This is too cruel.
I was in my room at the inn, tormented by the ache and self-loathing, unable to sleep properly, and the next thing I knew it was morning.
There's no way I can go and defeat the Demon King while still feeling this way.
I have to do something... I have to do something about this throbbing.
Whether it succeeds or not... goes without saying.
Author's Note
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