Vol 5: Chapter 4: Wavering Heart

The Holy Knight's Peaceful and Twisted Life

Wavering Heart

All right! It's morning! Time to start the plan to toss Aria to Aleph.

My chastity is at stake, after all. I absolutely cannot fail.

I headed towards Aria's room with great enthusiasm. First, I had to say hello and somehow get her in touch with Aleph.

I knocked on Aria's door, and when I heard a response I quickly opened it and went inside.

"Good morning, Nee-san... Hey, you look terrible, is something wrong? (Too ugly. Aleph won't get aroused by this.)"

"Ah, yeah, Chris... Good morning. I just can't sleep, ahahaha."

"A-Are you okay? Is something wrong? (My eyes are messed up. Are you of any use in this condition?)"

"Yeah... it's okay. There were a few things going on..."

For some reason, we've become silent. Say something.

What a boring woman, seriously. This ugly woman is always worrying about stupid things.

I'd better hurry up and meet her with Aleph and get his approval.

"Nee-san, sometimes you should go out with Aleph (or go to a hotel and train that bastard)."

"Stop it! You two should just go together without inviting me!"

"Eh...? Nee-san? (What's she getting mad about? Is she okay in the head?)"

"Don't act like you're trying to pity me like that, Chris."

"Um, what do you mean, Nee-san? (Please speak clearly so I can understand what you mean.)"

"Chris, you're going to marry Aleph... after we defeat the Demon King, right?

"Huh?! Wh, what are you talking about... (Huh? How on earth do you know, you ugly bitch!)"

Oh no! It seems like someone listened to our conversation yesterday.

At this rate, my plan won't work! What's going on if it falls apart after just one day of starting...?

...No, I absolutely do NOT want to become Aleph's wife.

Why should I have to deal with a man? No, no.

“Nee-san… please listen to me first... (Aria! You can take my place).”

"What are you going to talk about? I don't really want to hear anything."

"Aleph is, he just ... (why don't idiots listen to what people say)?"

"I told you I don't want to hear it! If you're going to brag, go somewhere else!"

The idiot shouted and ran out of her room.

No, listen to me... Just how tired do you intend to make me in the morning?

Well, you're going somewhere else!

Just thinking about persuading Aria gives me a headache.

For now, I'll go chase after the idiot Aria who ran out of the inn.

Every time Chris mentioned Aleph's name, I remembered their conversation from the previous day, so I yelled at her and stormed out of the inn.

What the hell am I doing... I'm the one at fault for eavesdropping. And who the hell do I think I am, yelling at Chris who gave me a chance at redemption?

And, even at a time like this, my body is aching...it's terrible.

"Oh, are you by any chance Aria the Sword Saint?"

As I was walking through the streets of the royal capital, breathing heavily, someone suddenly called out to me.

"Eh, yes? That's right, but who are you...?"

"Huh? Do you remember? You see, the Holy Knight who will be going with you to defeat the Demon King."

Come to think of it, I think I saw him when the King introduced me to the Holy Knights and the members of the Knights Order at the Royal Castle.

"I'm sorry. Well... the truth is, I wasn't listening very well at the time."

"Hahaha, it's true that there were a lot of members of the Knights too. It's not surprising."

The Holy Knight, smiling with a refreshing smile, exudes the composure of an adult when I look at him.

Even though we just met, I feel at ease somehow...

"Oh, then let me introduce myself again. I'm the Holy Knight Nathel, Nice to meet you, Aria-chan."

"Thank you for your help, Nathel-san. I'm sorry, I don't remember the name of the person who will be defeating the Demon King with me..."

He even remembered my name, but compared to him, I... I felt ashamed of my own foolishness in front of Nathel-san's sincere attitude.

"Aria-chan is still young, so there's nothing to worry about. However, I was surprised to find out that the Sword Saint was such a young and cute girl. I'd only heard rumors about her ever since she was in the Hero's Party."

"That's right. When I was in the Hero Party, I hardly ever left the room in the royal castle..."

To be honest, it's painful to even remember what happened back then, so I don't want to talk about it any more.

"...I see. Well, that's not what I should be asking right now though."

"Did you need something from me?"

Seeing Nathel-san's face turn serious, I also changed my serious attitude.

"Aria-chan, is there something that's bothering you?"

"Wh-why do you think that?"

"I haven't lived longer than you for nothing. I can tell from experience just by looking at your face."

"Does it really show on my face...?"

"...If it's okay with you, I'll listen."

"We just met, so it might be a bit awkward to tell you this, but actually..."

I told Nathel-san everything about my condition and the struggles I was experiencing.

I think it's crazy to blabber about information about your party members to people you don't know that well.

But, I guess it's okay since we're going to defeat the Demon King together.

Besides, I didn't know what to do myself... I thought maybe Nathel-san, a gentleman and grown-up, could give me a good solution.

"Your body is aching... Besides, the Hero you love is with the Saintess. Hmm, I see, Aria-chan... that must have been painful."

After listening to my story, Nathel-san patted me on the head.

Feeling a bit embarrassed, I blushed and looked down.

"Don't treat me like a child..."

"Well, I think you did a good job. To hear the man you love propose to another girl."

"Yeah... It was definitely a shock."

"And your body is throbbing. So, Aria-chan, you're horny, right?"

"Horn--!? No, that's not true, I don't think so."

"No, you're just sexually frustrated. Your breathing is still heavy, and I can tell from your vibe."

Sexual frustration. It was just as Nathel-san said. After that hero made me do all those nasty things, my body must have gone haywire...

"Yes, that may be it..."

"Aria-chan, if that's okay with you..."

"What is it, Nathel-san?"

"Um, let me help you relieve your frustration?"

"...Huh? Eh, what are you talking about?! That's no good."

Naturally, I got angry when Neitle said something outrageous.

After all, I just told him that I like Aleph...

"So what are you going to do? Aleph won't 'hold' you."

"Well, that's... something you do alone, or something."

"That's impossible."

"Wh-why would you know?! I'll be fine."

"I've dated quite a few different women. That feeling you have, Aria-chan, isn't something you can just calm down on your own."

I was gradually being pushed by Nathel-san's boldness. Because Nathel-san is obviously an adult, a gentleman, and seems to have more experience than me... I started to feel like I was the one in the wrong.

"But! I just can't do something like that with someone I don't love."

"Even if you love Aleph, do you understand that you won't end up being with him?"

"I know, but it's fine. It's enough that I just like him..."

"Why do you think so devotedly of him?"

"A little while ago, I betrayed Aleph and did a lot of terrible things. So it's only natural that he hates me. But even so, I still love Aleph. These are the feelings I don't want to betray!"

Even if my body is defiled, I don't want to lose my feelings of love.

...If I were to come to my senses, I wouldn't want to have a relationship with another man.

"But if you're in such a frustrated state, you'll be a nuisance when you and Aleph go to defeat the Demon King, right?"

"Eh, that's..."

"We're going with you too, right? If the Sword Saint can't concentrate, everyone will get worried."

"...Ah, well, I guess that's true."

"Well, let's change our way of thinking."

"Eh? Change it?"

I have no idea what Nathel-san is trying to say. My body is still throbbing and it's probably because my concentration is being disturbed. It's throbbing and I'm sick of it...

"Let's just says that releasing your frustrations with me is for your own good."

"No, that's not it..."

"What if your body starts to ache during a close battle between the Demon King and Aleph?"

"…………"

"When that happens, Aleph will be the one who dies. If you really love Aleph, then you should definitely resolve this. Definitely. It'll be fine! This is just like maintenance for your body."

"maintenance……?"

"Yes, it's to return Aria-chan to normal. Of course, this is a secret. I'm a Holy Knight. I keep my mouth shut and I always keep my promises."

"But I guess betraying my feelings for Aleph would be too much..."

"There's no way you betray him just because we've been together for this. It would be different if you started to desire me from the bottom of your heart, but there's no need to take it so seriously."

I guess that's true. It's true that this kind of pain needs to be cured quickly.

Besides, Aleph is marrying Chris, so he probably won't even look at me anymore.

"Come on, Aria-chan. If you'd like, you can take my hand. I have a room somewhere where no one will find us. Let's go there."

Saying that, Nathel-san holds out his hand to me.

If I take this hand, this pain might go away.

But...

"As expected, I am ...."

"The decision is yours. But remember, if you go to defeat the Demon King as you are, you will end up causing trouble for many people. And Aleph, he may die because of your actions."

"Th-the way you say it..."

"I know this sounds harsh, but if you take along someone who can't concentrate on the battlefield, it will end in disaster. I've experienced that firsthand. If that's okay with you, then follow your selfish feelings."

I would be a nuisance to everyone. I would be a nuisance to Aleph. I don't want that to happen.

But I, ....I am...

Aleph. What should I do...?

A new character, but...there's this feeling.