Chapter 100: Beautiful Girl, Led Around

The first day of the cultural festival came to an end.

The sun had already dipped low, leaving the world around me dim.
The festival’s noise had faded, and only a scattering of students still remained inside the school building.

I walked through the nearly empty halls. From nerves, a tight, squeezing pain coiled in the area just above my stomach.

"It’s not like anything’s been decided yet… but still."

I murmured to myself as I headed toward the place Aoi-kun had told me to come.
It could end with him just thanking me for my hard work today, nothing more.

…No, that probably wasn’t going to happen.

"Aoi-kun…"

I didn’t dislike him. If anything, when it came to seeing him as the opposite sex, I liked him quite a lot.
He was kind, gentlemanly, and not pervy like Ryouji. Honestly, he felt far too good for someone like me.

But even so… I still liked Ryouji.

Even if I met Aoi-kun now, I wished things could stay the same between us—if we could keep being friends, if nothing had to change.
But I knew it wouldn’t.

He was a boy and I was a girl, and I knew he had feelings for me. And today, he was probably going to…

The place he mentioned in his message—by the school’s entrance—was right where he stood.

"Ah…"

I should’ve greeted him normally, but the words wouldn’t come out right.

"Sakura-san. Sorry for calling you out like this."

With that gentle smile of his, he looked just like he always did.

"Would it be okay if we moved a bit?"

Maybe he didn’t want other students passing through the entrance to see us.
I didn’t want to be seen either, so I nodded.

We changed our shoes and walked a little toward the back of the school building.

"I think here is fine."

"…Yeah."

When Aoi-kun stopped, I stopped too. Silence settled between us.

"Sakura-san."

"Y-yes!"

My voice cracked on instinct. He noticed and let out a tiny chuckle.

"The play today was amazing."

"Ah… thanks."

Being praised so directly made me a little shy.
At the same time, I remembered the accidental kiss with Ryouji, and heat flushed up my face.

No, stop. Don’t think about weird things right now…

"The costumes were great too, and I could tell you were really having fun up there. I had a great time watching."

"Ahaha… I really struggled up until I could actually enjoy it. I’ve always been bad at doing stuff in front of people…"

"I know. That’s why, seeing you shining on stage like that, I thought you were incredible."

We continued talking about the play.
I was happy—Aoi-kun truly seemed to have enjoyed it.

I wondered if Yazaki-san, Yoshino-san, Aika-chan, and my family enjoyed it too.

"…Hey, Sakura-san."

Aoi-kun’s voice shifted.
The sudden change startled me, and I almost jumped. Honestly, I deserved a medal for holding it together.

I waited for his next words.

"When I saw you smiling on stage today, I realized something. I realized… I like you. I want to be the one you care about most."

"Aoi-kun…"

I looked him in the eyes.
His gaze was strong and sincere.

Ah… even though he feels so much for me, I…

"I’m sorry…"

"I see…"

He gave me a lonely smile.

The quiet between us was so deep, it felt like he could hear my heartbeat.

"I actually knew this would happen."

Eventually, he began speaking in small fragments.

"You like Tagawa-kun… right?"

My eyes widened.

"Haha, that reaction tells me enough. Today was the first time I saw him, but… I could tell you were different around him than you are with me. So I figured it out."

"I… see."

I wondered what he thought back then.
Had I already hurt him without realizing it?

"You know… I’m pretty selfish."

"Eh…?"

"You’re not dating him yet, are you?"

"Fweh!? Ah, um… no."

"That’s why I thought… I should confess first.
I didn’t want things to end without ever telling you how I felt.
Part of me thought it might be fine to just stay quiet and keep our relationship as it was… but in the end, I couldn’t hold it in."

"Yeah… I’m really sorry…"

"Don’t apologize. And… don’t make that about-to-cry face. Your smile is what makes you so cute."

"I'm sorry…"

His feelings were so clear it almost hurt.
And the fact that I couldn’t accept them made me feel horribly ugly inside.
The more serious someone is, the more painful it becomes when you can’t return their feelings.

"Haha… Even though I got rejected, somehow… I still feel kind of satisfied."

He said that while looking up at the sky, his voice trembling just a little.

"Sakura-san. It might be weird for me to say this, but… you should do your best too."

"Aoi-kun—"

What was I supposed to say?
What could I say?

Moments like this made me hate how bad I was with words.

"Sorry. I’m going home for today. If you’re ever in trouble, message me, okay? I’ll help you anytime…!
Well then… see you."

He rubbed his face with the sleeve of his uniform, then gave me the same gentle smile he always had.

And then he ran off toward the shoe lockers.

I was left alone there.

Ah… so this is how painful it feels.

Back when I had just become a girl and someone confessed to me and I turned them down, I never felt anything like this.

Even if you want to change… there’s no guarantee anyone will accept it.
Even if I confess to Ryouji, there’s no guarantee he’ll accept me.

My relationship with Aoi-kun… is broken now. He’s kind, so maybe if I asked, he’d still hang out with me as a friend.
But I know I’m not skilled enough to pull off that kind of delicate balance.
If I were more mature, could we have stayed friends?

"Huh…?"

A single tear slid down my cheek.

Ahaha… rejecting someone and then crying like this—how pathetic.

Even so, the tears wouldn’t stop.

I cried alone in the shadows of the school building for a while, but once they finally dried, my chest felt a little lighter.

Aoi-kun ended up encouraging me until the very end.

I needed to be brave too—just like him.
I might get rejected, and it might become painful just to look Ryouji in the eye.
But even so… I want to be Ryouji’s girlfriend!

By the time I returned to the entrance, the sky was already pitch black.
The glow of the lamps looked lonely.

I hurried back to the classroom, quickly changed in the locker room, grabbed my things, and made a U-turn back to the entrance.

A look at my messenger app showed that nobody was left in the classroom or locker room.
It seemed like Moeka-chan and Sakurako-chan had already gone home. I needed to hurry too—there was still one more day of the festival tomorrow, and another performance.

Thinking that, I dashed toward the entrance.
I changed my shoes and ran outside, heading straight for the front gate.

Walking home alone in the dark was a little scary. I’d always been with Ryouji, now that I thought about it.

"Ayumi."

"—Ryouji!? What are you doing here!?"

"What do you mean? I was waiting for you. I messaged you, but you didn’t reply."

"Ah… you’re right."

I must’ve missed it—the chat log had scrolled up a bit without me noticing.

"Ayumi… did you… cry?"

"Eh!? N-no, of course not?"

"Your eyes are swollen. Did someone do something to you!?"

"No, no, no! I’m fine! It has nothing to do with you, Ryouji!"

I raised my voice without meaning to. He was pushing too hard.

"O-oh… nothing to do with me, huh."

"Ryouji?"

"Nah, forget it. More importantly, let’s just get going."

"Okay."

We started walking toward the station together.

It felt a little awkward, and I couldn’t bring myself to talk about the play.
If I brought it up, we’d probably end up talking about that kiss…

I really wanted to thank him for saving me when I forgot my line.
I wanted to—but the words wouldn’t come out.

But I couldn’t stay silent forever. I needed to be brave.

"H-hey, Ryouji!"

"Yeah? What’s up?"

"Um… thanks for today. For helping me when I forgot my line."

"Ohhh, that. I panicked so hard. I was like, what the heck just happened!?"

"If you hadn’t helped me right then, the whole thing would’ve fallen apart."

"Ha-ha-ha! You’d better be grateful. And make me dinner again to show it."

Ryouji puffed out his chest in this ridiculous pose, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

"Ahaha. Sure, dinner’s no problem."

"Seriously!? Guess it pays to ask!"

He pumped his fist in triumph.
If he was that happy about it, I’d make him something anytime…

"And also… um, I’m sorry."

"Huh? For what?"

He tilted his head.

"Um… that… th-that… k-k-kiss…"

Nope. Couldn’t look at his face. Way too embarrassing.

"Oh… that. It’s fine! I’m totally not bothered by it at all!"

"R-really?"

"Yeah! Not bothered at all."

I see…
Maybe that was good?

But hearing him say he wasn’t bothered at all stung just a little.
Maybe that’s all I was to him…

"But I’m bothered…"

"Ayumi…?"

I muttered it under my breath.
Unlike a dense rom-com protagonist, Ryouji actually heard me.

With everything that happened with Aoi-kun today, something inside me felt like it was about to overflow.

"I am bothered! I mean—it was my first kiss, you know!? And you’re just acting like it was nothing!"

"My bad."

No—that wasn’t what I wanted to say. I wasn’t trying to blame him.
It was my fault for forgetting my lines, my fault for almost falling.
He didn’t do anything wrong.

But once something cracks, the words just spill out.

"I’m here worrying about you all the time…! But you’re always so carefree. It’s not fair… you’re not fair at all… acting like nothing ever affects you!"

"Wh—!?"

He froze, then forced the words out.

"My bad. I guess I was being insensitive, and I ended up hurting you. I didn’t even realize until you hated me this much…"

"Ah—no! I don’t hate you! Not at all! I love you!"

"…Huh?"

"Ah—!"

I said it.
I actually said it.

…What do I do?