Chapter 54: Day 10 ⑧

Lia and Alto were unconscious. Illya’s shoulders had been pierced by swords; although she had received first aid, her condition was still grim.

With Rin so depleted of Magical Energy that she could barely stand, it was impossible for the two of us to carry the others back. I asked Shinji to call a taxi. Even escaping was a struggle; if Gilgamesh had decided to pursue us now, it would have undoubtedly been the end. We kept a sharp eye on our rear as we distanced ourselves from the forest on the outskirts of town.

In the end, we saw no sign of Gilgamesh. When I finally spotted my own house amidst the familiar townscape, a sigh of relief escaped my lips.

However, everyone—myself included—was covered in wounds. Lia and Alto had yet to wake up even after arriving home. Shinji, the only one physically unharmed, maintained a rigid, tense expression, likely due to the loss of his Servant, Rider.

I couldn't let my guard down. We had escaped the immediate danger, but the situation had far from improved.

My body felt as heavy as lead. Despite the sheer level of exhaustion, it was only a little past three in the afternoon by the time we reached my house.

The sky was still bright; there was plenty of time before sunset. The streets were still crowded with people. The battle in that space filled with roars and the scent of death had felt interminably long, yet in reality, we probably hadn't fought for even an hour since arriving at the castle. It felt as if time had been condensed—or as if the number of hours in a day had suddenly increased.

Lost in these idle thoughts, I passed through the gate leading to the entrance.

Plagued by a drowsiness born of extreme fatigue, I dragged my heavy, mana-starved body across the floor to lay Lia and Alto down on the futons I had prepared. I laid them out in the Japanese-style room next to the living room so I could respond immediately if anything happened. Lia’s breathing remained labored. In contrast, while Alto had looked much like Lia immediately after collapsing, his breathing had settled significantly by the time Rin’s complexion began to return to normal.

As expected, the cause was likely the lack of Magical Energy supply. Since Rin’s own internal reserves were recovering—albeit minutely—Alto was likely heading toward recovery as well.

However, because of her incomplete summoning, the proper Path (Line) was not connected to Lia. An indescribable anxiety surged within me.

I pulled the first-aid kit from the cupboard and headed to the living room. For now, I prioritized treating Illya, whose injuries were visually more severe than Lia’s or Alto’s.

Since she was a girl, I figured it was better to leave the actual treatment to Rin. Meanwhile, I went to the kitchen to put the kettle on the stove and prepare hot water.

I recalled the scene when I had draped my jacket over her to hide her wounds before boarding the taxi. The large gashes on Illya’s shoulders looked agonizingly painful against her small frame. Her high-quality clothes were stained a dark crimson; to any bystander, the sheer amount of blood would have looked like the aftermath of a crime. Indeed, the taxi driver had given us suspicious looks as we carried three unconscious girls, which was understandable.

I handed the hot water and fresh gauze to Rin when she peeked into the kitchen. Dried blood is difficult to remove with cold water.

Normally, with such grievous injuries, she should have been taken to a hospital, but our situation wouldn't allow it. Being participants in the Holy Grail War was one reason, but more importantly, the man called Gilgamesh was clearly targeting Illya. If we abandoned her now that she had lost her Servant, her fate would be as clear as day.

Even if the Church offered her protection, I didn't believe they could safeguard her against that nonsensical level of power. If that was the case, we were better equipped to hide and protect her.

Thanks to the Hemostasis magecraft Illya must have cast on herself and Rin’s Healing Magecraft, the bleeding had stopped completely, and scabs were reportedly beginning to form. Perhaps relieved that the immediate crisis had passed, Illya had fallen asleep mid-sentence while talking to Rin.

Once Rin confirmed the treatment was finished, I carried Illya to my room to let her sleep in my futon. My room was the only one that could be prepared quickly and was close to the living room.

As I brushed the bangs away from her eyes, she let out a small mumble, calling for her fallen subordinate. A single tear traced down the cheek of the girl who had lost her voice. Not knowing what else I could do for her, I simply continued to stroke her hair.

When I returned to the living room after tucking Illya in, Shinji was sitting alone, looking lost in thought. Rin was nowhere to be seen.

"Emiya, got a minute? I need to talk to you guys."

I was about to head into the hallway to check on Lia and Alto when he spoke. I turned to see Shinji staring at me with a deadly serious expression.

"Hmm? Does it have to be right now?"

"...No, it can wait until Tohsaka gets back. Just keep in mind that I have something to say."

Shinji frowned and cut the conversation short. It seemed important. His strange behavior since the trip back was likely related to whatever this was.

"Got it. I'll tell Rin too."

Seeing Shinji nod, I resumed my walk down the hall.

"—Guh!?"

The force of the impact sent me tumbling backward onto my rear. I didn't even realize what had happened.

Looking up, I saw Alto exhaling sharply. His fists were clenched so tight his knuckles were white, and he was glaring down at me, his right hand still extended from the swing.

My vision blurred, and my left cheek stung. The metallic taste of blood spread in my mouth. I was sitting on the floor. Despite all the evidence, it took me a moment to process the fact: I had been punched by her.

"Why...?"

"You're asking 'why'!?"

As I wiped the corner of my bleeding mouth and muttered semi-unconsciously, she—who was over 10cm shorter than me—grabbed me by the collar and forced me to my feet.

Why was I being hit? Still unable to find the answer, I stood there dazed, unable to find my voice.

"You ask if 'Lia is okay'? You ask Rin if she's 'feeling better'? Do you even understand what your actions triggered?! You are the reason Lia and Rin ended up like this, Shirou!"

"———Eh, ah..."

My mind went completely blank. As the meaning of those words and the reality of what I had done set in, my body froze. I forgot to breathe, able only to stare at Alto.

"‘Don't act on impulse.’ Do you remember me warning you before we left? I didn't say that just because rushing in recklessly is dangerous. I said it because, as a result, the burden falls on Rin and Lia, who are with you!"

"Alto, calm down for a second. Let's just talk—"

"If you misjudge, if you move on impulse, only regret will remain. If you move poorly, 'Emiya Shirou' is something that merely creates, not something that can fight satisfactorily. Even with Kanshou and Bakuya, you are no match for a Heroic Spirit. Even if you can use unorthodox Magecraft, the miracle of saving everyone will not be granted. Even if you hold onto ideals, if you lack power, you will be crushed by their weight. I won't tell you not to pursue your ideals. That's not something I could ever say. ...But! At the very least, realize right now that 'Emiya Shirou' is powerless!"

Rin, who had opened her mouth to speak, choked on her words at Alto’s intensity. I don't know what she sensed, but whatever hidden meaning she read behind those words left her visibly shocked into silence.

---Alto, who was face-to-face with me, distorted her expression in agony with every word she spoke. Every single shout condemning me looked as if she were berating herself.

And for me, who was being addressed, Alto's hidden emotions of anger became thorns that pierced me mercilessly.

---It was all true. The reason everyone was exhausted was because I had jumped out; I was the origin. At that moment I ran out, I had thrown everything out of my mind. The fact that we were there for scouting. The way to deal with the Heroic Spirit I had been warned about. My own life. And the comrades I must never have forgotten---Tohsaka, Lia, and Alto.

The moment I saw Gilgamesh torturing Illya, all of that vanished. I had jumped out before I could think.

When Alto and Rin told me to run, I had tried to stay and fight Gilgamesh with a sword in hand. Had I become conceited just because I had obtained her twin swords—even if they were fakes—which shared the same properties and could withstand combat against a Heroic Spirit?

I had learned their use from their owner and mimicked their owner's techniques. Had I not realized just last night that my version would never hold up against a Servant?

The results of my overreaching were self-evident. My "all-out" strike was nothing more than a mediocre blow to a Heroic Spirit. My Projection was a drop of water on a scorching stone; Hrunting was swatted away easily, and before I could even swing the twin blades in my hands, the battlefield had shifted to a place far beyond my reach.

If I fought alone, could I last a minute? If I lasted three, it would be a miracle. My support, my meager power, could only create the smallest margin of error in the enemy's strength. At most, a single breath's worth of an opening.

—Ah. I am powerless. There is a gap in power that cannot be filled; there is no need to even confirm it.

But, "because I have no power." If I give up because of that and stop running...

"I don't have the power to trade blows with a Servant. It’s true, I forgot everything and rushed in. But... if I hadn't, what would have happened to Illya? What would happen to the Illya who was reaching out for help if I didn't reach back?"

"———!"

Alto’s hands, which had been trembling and pale as they gripped my shirt, came to a sudden halt. Her eyes, which had been glaring at me with fixed intensity, wavered slightly. Then, an overflow of emotion: shock, disappointment, loneliness, and frustration. 

—they all swirled together, creating an expression that looked as if she might burst into tears at any moment.

"My actions certainly weren't praiseworthy. My selfishness put everyone in danger. I’m truly sorry for that. I'm sorry."

I looked Alto and Rin squarely in the face and bowed my head. I was the one who had forced this burden on them. And now, it was becoming a grave problem.

"But even so... someone was saved. Someone smiled. As long as people like that exist, I will reach out as far as my hands can go. I’ll put my life on the line to help. I’ll run to them with everything I have. I know it was wrong to jump out without consulting anyone. But the one thing I don't want to do is regret. This is the one thing I can't stop doing, even if you tell me to, Alto."

At my monologue, Alto looked away. Her face was cast down, hiding her expression. I continued regardless.

"Even you, Alto—when we were at a dead end against Berserker, you stood in his way to protect us! You saved me when Caster almost killed me! You've put your own body on the line to save us countless times! I... I respect you for that. You might find it a nuisance, but I want to follow that way of life."

"I'm... not. I... I am..."

"What do you mean 'no'? Didn't you save us because you wanted to save everyone? You said it yourself, didn't you? That you 'don't want to abandon the few,' and 'if someone can be saved, you want to save them.' How is that any different?"

The grip on my T-shirt loosened. The strength slowly drained from her, and Alto’s arms fell limp at her sides. Her eyes remained wide, and her lips continued to murmur something inaudible.

After a long silence, the light finally returned to her eyes. Her gaze, regained of its strength, fixed back onto me.

"I want to protect. Lia, Rin, Shirou. Illya, Shinji, Taiga, Sakura. And the people living in this town. Not to 'save' them, but to protect them so that there are no more victims in this conflict over the Holy Grail. That is why I am here. As one whose life has already ended, I surely cannot 'save' anyone. The one to save them should be you, Shirou—you, who are living in this world right now."

The remnants of her rage were gone. Alto looked at me and made her declaration with calm resolve. Her eyes were powerful, yet carried a trace of sorrow.

"Even though I wanted to go save Illya, I couldn't move. Someone like me has no right to condemn you for taking action. I wish to apologize for my behavior just now, and thank you for saving Illya. I am sorry, Shirou. And... thank you."

"Ah, no. I mean... I really did act too short-sightedly—"

Now it was my turn to be bowed to. I hadn't done it for thanks, and since the fault for the initial mess was mine, being apologized to felt incredibly awkward.

"However."

"Eh?"

"This cannot be settled with your apology alone. —Shirou, you asked if Lia was okay, didn't you?"

"Do you know what's going to happen to her, Alto!?"

I grabbed Alto’s shoulders and pressed for an answer. I glanced over at Lia; despite the noise we were making, she showed no reaction. She was still unconscious, with no sign of recovery.

Following my gaze, Alto glanced at the prone Lia and took a deep breath.

"Yes. At this rate, before long, Lia will fade away due to the depletion of Magical Energy from using her Noble Phantasm."

"No way! Is there... is there nothing we can do?"

My actions were going to cause Lia to—?

Just because I managed to save Illya, I ended up...!

Anger welled up inside me. The target, of course, was myself. This surge of passion made me want to punch my own face.

I grit my teeth. The reason Alto hit me earlier was probably born from the same feeling I was having now. ...I could blame myself later. Alto was about to tell me the rest. Right now, I had to focus on the solution.

"There is a way. It is simple. If there is a shortage, we simply need to replenish her Magical Energy from a new source."

"Eh? But even if we wanted to send her mana, the Path (Line) isn't connected between Lia and me."

"Correct. Due to the incomplete contract, it is impossible for Shirou to send Magical Energy through an existing Line. Furthermore, due to the mana deficiency, she is too weakened to even maintain consciousness. I consulted with Rin, but without Lia being conscious, we cannot even perform emergency measures."

Emergency measures? If Lia were awake, we might have been able to do something...

"That is where we use the Command Spell remaining on Shirou’s hand."

"I see! If I replenish her mana instantaneously, those emergency measures can..."

As I spoke, I looked at the back of my left hand. There was a red pattern, most of it now stained black. I used one for the forced summoning at school, and another for the Noble Phantasm usage today.

That last stroke was, in a true sense, my final trump card. The only powerful support I could offer as a Master. If I used this, Lia would be saved—?

"No. From here on, I want Shirou to make the judgment."

"Judgment?"

I looked up from my left hand to face her. There stood Alto, staring me down—and Rin was there too.

"Rin and I do not approve of Shirou’s actions this time. Furthermore, if you act solely on impulse, your 'bad habit' will not be fixed during this Holy Grail War just by a simple warning. However, for Rin and me, who are in an alliance with you, that only serves as a liability."

"Uh, sorry. I'm not quite catching the point. Could you say it more clearly? I'll do whatever I can."

"Anything?"

"Yeah."

Alto’s eyes narrowed, becoming sharp. Correspondingly, the air grew heavy with tension.

"Then I will say it clearly. Shirou, you cannot be trusted. Use your Command Spell to discard your contract with Lia."