Chapter 61: Resolve

A few days after Kaya assumed the position of Acting President of the General Student Council, the attempted bombing at Little Rabbit Station became the trigger that exposed her many schemes to the light of day, thanks to the former SRT students. She resigned and was remanded to the Public Peace Bureau. At the same time, Kaiser’s corrupt dealings were uncovered one after another, and search warrants were executed even against the upper management of Kaiser Corporation.

"...It seems this is the right time."

The content of Volume 2, Chapter of Karbanog was finished. There was nothing more I could do. And so…

"Let’s carry out the final confirmation of the plan."

In order to disappear from Kivotos—no, from this world—the conclusion I arrived at was simple: jumping from Sanctum Tower.

The bodies of Kivotos students are extraordinarily resilient to direct physical impact. Even when riddled with bullets, they only lose consciousness, so ordinary levels of shock are not enough to cause death. In short, suicide by gun is impossible. Knives do not cut well either, and while there are methods such as hanging or drowning that can work even on students… the pain endured before death is immense. That terrified me, which is why I chose to jump.

That said, falling from just any high-rise building still carried the possibility of survival due to that same toughness. So… I set my sights on Sanctum Tower, the tallest structure in all of Kivotos. Naturally, it houses the General Student Council, meaning security during business hours would be fairly strict. But… what about outside business hours? The General Student Council is highly bureaucratic in nature; once closing time arrives, most personnel leave all at once, leaving behind only a small number of patrol guards. And on holidays, aside from emergency response counters, most areas are not even open—meaning it should be relatively easy to reach the rooftop.

With that in mind, I devised a plan to take control of Sanctum Tower on a holiday, reach the rooftop, and jump.

"This part should work out somehow. And then…"

I began writing messages for those who would be left behind. The first was Nagisa, who would likely bear the greatest responsibility once this plan was carried out.

Dear Ms. Kirifuji Nagisa,

First and foremost, please allow me to apologize for the trouble I am about to cause you. I am truly sorry.

I suppose I should also explain the reasons behind this. As a prerequisite, please understand that I possess an ability similar to precognition. It is not exactly the same as the one once held by Yurizono Seia, your friend and fellow member of the Tea Party, but… it is something along those lines. I awakened to this ability before entering Trinity.

In the Kivotos I saw, there were countless possible worlds, and with even the slightest trigger, there existed the risk of Kivotos collapsing. Even so, thanks to Schale’s Sensei guiding the students and devoting himself tirelessly, those crises were averted. The Eden Treaty, the False Sanctum… I am certain you are aware of Sensei’s achievements in those incidents.

Now then, how does this relate to my choice of suicide? In the Kivotos I saw through my future sight, I did not exist. As mentioned earlier, Kivotos may walk the path to destruction due to even the most trivial of changes. If someone who should not exist—someone like me—continues to exist, that possibility increases greatly. Therefore, before I could exert any decisive influence, I chose to erase myself from this world.

It pains me deeply to act so selfishly and burden you with such emotional strain, Ms. Nagisa… but I believe this to be a necessary sacrifice. For the sake of everyone in Kivotos being able to live in peace. In other words, I am trash that ought to be thrown away in a garbage bin.

…Come to think of it, when you spoke that way about the Make-Up Work Club, I said things that may have sounded accusatory. Please allow me to apologize once again for that. Even though, through my future sight, I knew exactly what circumstances you were in at the time.

And regarding my disappearance, you bear no responsibility whatsoever. This is something I chose to do of my own volition.

You may still be blaming yourself for having allowed me to join the Tea Party… but I have no regrets about it. I learned many things while serving as an officer cadet in the security unit, and more importantly, it gave me the chance to meet dear friends. For that, I feel only gratitude—never resentment.

Lastly, thank you very much for taking care of me until now. I am sure I was never an easy junior or subordinate to deal with… and yet, you stayed with me nonetheless. And for believing in us officer cadets so strongly that you called us those who would shoulder Trinity’s future.

I pray for your continued success, and with that, I bid you farewell.

"Something like this, I suppose."

Some parts might come off as rude, but… since I am going to die anyway, it is fine. Let’s say I chose to express my honest feelings over formalities.

…I am sorry, Nagisa. So close to graduation, and I end up causing you this much trouble. And up until now as well, whenever I made a mess of things, it was usually her—the head of Filius—who handled the cleanup.

"...But this is the end. Next…"

…The next person to write a letter to. As I considered who it should be, the answer came naturally.

"Father, Mother…"

The parents who raised me all this time. I set aside the letter to Nagisa and took the next sheet of stationery into my hand.

Dear Father, Mother,

If you are reading this letter, then I believe I am no longer in this world. Please forgive your unfilial daughter for departing before the two of you, whom I love and respect so dearly.

Before I explain why I chose this course of action, there is a secret I have carried with me for a very long time—one that I must first tell you.

…Ever since a certain point in my early childhood, I have been able to see the future. A future of Kivotos in which I do not exist.

In that future, it was shown that Kivotos could head toward collapse due to the slightest misalignment in the gears of fate. You may have heard rumors of this yourselves—the Sensei of Schale, who was brought to Kivotos by the President of the General Student Council, used what he believed to be the best possible choices to avert those paths leading to destruction.

Yes. Because of something as trivial as a tiny change, this Kivotos could still fall apart. I believe that I was never meant to be here in the first place. And because of that, I have agonized over this for a long time—over whether I ought to exit the stage, so that I would not exert an influence that could lead Kivotos to ruin.

That is why I chose death.

You are both such kind people that I am certain you will grieve and shed tears over my absence. But this is something I decided upon, and something I accepted, to prevent a tragedy far greater than losing your daughter from ever befalling you.

This is not—absolutely not—Father’s or Mother’s fault. This is entirely my responsibility. Please do not blame yourselves. I would not wish for that.

Lastly… thank you very much for raising me until now.

There were times when the farm work was hard, but the fruit grown at our family home is my pride. Please continue to bring joy to everyone at Trinity with its delicious taste.

…I know I must have been selfish at times, and that I caused you both no small amount of trouble. Even so, for these fifteen years, you watched over me with such warmth and kindness. For that, I offer you my deepest gratitude.

You are the best parents I could ever have. That will never, ever change.

"...Hic… ugh…"

Tears spilled over. Putting my gratitude toward my parents into words like this, picturing the faces of the people I love so dearly, remembering everything we shared together—my resolve began to waver.

I want to see them again… It has already been three months since I last saw their faces… I do not want things to end like this…

"N-no… I decided… I decided already…"

But… I am sacrificing myself so that those very parents will never be placed in danger.

Wiping away my tears, I began writing the next letter.

Dear Ms. Honotani Masa,

First of all, I am sorry for acting on my own like this. There is also something I have been hiding from you all. That secret is that I can see the future.

In the Kivotos I saw, it was almost no different from the world we live in now. Schale’s Sensei resolved incident after incident, just as he does here. However… in that Kivotos, it was as though I did not exist at all. There was not a single trace of me.

Through that future sight, I also saw that Kivotos could walk the path toward collapse from even the slightest trigger. Those dangers were averted just as they were in reality, thanks to Sensei… but someone like me, who should not exist in the first place, might instead lead the real Kivotos toward destruction. Fearing that possibility, I chose to disappear from everyone’s lives before it could happen.

…I am sorry for writing something so complicated and drawn out. Simply put, because my existence might cause Kivotos to be destroyed, I chose to die before any danger could reach you, Masa, and the others. But I swear this has nothing to do with you. All responsibility lies with me alone—this was a selfish decision I made of my own will.

Masa, you are a dear friend to me. You treated someone like me with kindness, and together with Maiha, you helped me even when danger was involved… The times the three of us spent together are irreplaceable, precious moments of everyday life for me. When we went to the beach, we ran into trouble along the way, but it was truly fun. Not long after that, you came to visit my home and taught me interesting games—every one of those memories is precious to me. Looking back… it feels as though throughout my youth at Trinity, you and Maiha were always there by my side.

And I respect you, Masa. You possess a firmly established sense of justice, as well as the strength needed to carry it through. When faced with someone who goes against your beliefs, you never hesitate to confront them—whether they are a superior or an overwhelming force. Your resolve is noble and admirable. Even after I am gone, I am sure it will never waver.

Lastly, please take care of yourself. Thank you for being my friend until now.

Dear Ms. Tsuchimikado Maiha,

First, please allow me to apologize for how things have turned out. I am truly sorry.

Perhaps someone as perceptive as you noticed long ago… but there was something I had been hiding. That I could see the future of Kivotos—up to a certain point in time.

Yes, it is similar to the ability of your superior, Ms. Yurizono Seia… though to be precise, its nature is quite different. Still, in the sense that I could see the future at all, there is no great difference.

In that future, aside from one point, it was not very different from the Kivotos of reality. The Sensei of Schale, who was invited by the President of the General Student Council, acted within a Kivotos that could collapse from the slightest trigger—and succeeded in averting those crises.

And that single point of difference was… that I was not there. Yes. I was never meant to exist in the first place. In a Kivotos that could so easily tumble toward destruction from the smallest anomaly, if an irregular like me were to continue existing, it might place all of you in danger. Fearing that, I chose death of my own will.

Please, do not blame yourself over this.

Maiha, you are a precious friend to me. You greet everyone with warmth and cheer, and you speak so easily and pleasantly with people—it makes you a truly wonderful person. You are kind, intelligent, and thoughtful… a friend I am proud of. Meeting you and Masa has been a genuine blessing in my life.

You were always the one who invited Masa and me, pulling us along with a cheerful, “Let’s go somewhere.” I am not particularly proactive by nature, so I cannot tell you how much your suggestions saved me. We went shopping nearby, went to the beach, and toward the end of summer vacation, you even came to visit my home instead. The days I spent with you were so, so much fun—they are treasures to me.

There is also… something I would like to entrust to you. After my death, there will remain four warships constructed by the Engineering Department. Among them is one remodeled from the yacht you gave me… and more than anything, I believe that someone as gentle and wise as you will use them properly. Please contact Ms. Karaho Seira, the head of the Engineering Department.

Lastly, just one thing. Thank you for everything until now. I pray that you will continue to live well and in good health.

"Ugh… ngh… ah…"

Letters to the two friends most dear to me. No matter how much I wipe at them, the tears keep spilling over. Remembering all the fun times I spent with them makes me think that I do not want to die—that I still want to stay with them.

"B-but… sniff… if I stay… you two will…!"

If my existence were to bring about the collapse of Kivotos, and harm were to come to them as well—I could not accept that.

"And still… hic… u-uaaaahhh…!!"

Even so, I do not want to part from Masa and Maiha yet. I want to stay together. Not just them—Father and Mother, too. My emotions overflowed, and I collapsed onto the desk, sobbing.

Once the dam broke, it would not stop. I do not know how many minutes I cried. After my friends, I had planned to write a letter to Sensei as well, but… my chest hurt too much. It was too painful. I could not bring myself to write it, so I put it off for later.