Chapter 8: A new trial

To be honest, I am completely nervous—actually, I'm scared. I'm about to wield Durandal and enter berserk mode, which, from what I've seen in the anime, is going to hurt a lot.

After preparing myself, I slowly take hold of Durandal. Just like Hibiki, the weapon in my hand begins to shine, and I feel the berserk phenomenon creeping in from my grip. The pain starts to overwhelm me, and everything turns red.

"MEI, LET THAT THING GO! YOU'RE BLEEDING!"

I hear Tsubasa shouting, and I glance at the trio. They have panic on their faces as they rush toward me. But that was my mistake; I got distracted. Suddenly, the pain overwhelms my entire body, and I lose consciousness.

When I woke up, I found myself at the top of the bed. Looking beside me, I saw Tsubasa holding my hand, seemingly asleep. As I tried to stand up, I noticed

something unusual: my transformation was undone, but I was still a girl.

While I pondered the reason for this, the door opened, and Genjuro entered with two others, which startled Tsubasa awake. I suddenly felt someone hugging me.

"Thank God you woke up, Mei."

"Uhh... can someone explain what's happening?"

Genjuro let out a slow sigh as he turned on the television in the room, which faced the bed. It displayed a recording of me taking the Durandal.

Just like Hibiki, I began to experience berserk mode. Then I noticed blood slowly leaking from my mouth, ears, nose, and eyes as I turned toward the trio before the berserk state completely consumed me.

In my berserk state, I violently attacked the three of them, hitting them even when they were down. Strangely, just as I was about to kill them, I stopped and began hitting myself instead. This cycle of attacking them and then myself continued until the damage took its toll, and my movements became sluggish. Eventually, the trio managed to contain me.

Now I could see how awful my berserk state was, and I needed to formulate a countermeasure before Elfnein brought the Ignite Module system to Symphogear. Perhaps the other trio could help contain me.

"So, Mei, as you've seen from the video, we’re forbidding you from touching the Durandal anytime soon. The effects are too much for you."

"But Director Genjuro, I need to train myself."

"No, can you say that to the three of them right now?"

After Genjuro's words, I looked at the trio. Tsubasa was biting her lip until it bled, and her palm was clenched so tightly that it was also bleeding. The other two were in a similar state. I was surprised that Chris's usual tsundere attitude was gone, perhaps because I had hurt them too much.

"I'm sorry; I never thought my mental strength was weaker than I believed."

"No, Mei, you're—"

"It's okay, Hibiki. I know I'm mentally weak compared to you. After all, you've managed to tame the berserk state by yourself in the future, and I can't even do that right now."

"Tch... don't talk like that; it wasn't your fault in the first place."

"Thank you, Chris."

"No, we're weak, so I don't need your thanks. Besides, I hate to say this, but you were trying your best not to hurt us, weren't you?"

"Honestly, I don't know. My consciousness was completely lost once the berserk took over."

"Then you're good enough; you didn't kill us. And Senpai, how about you let Mei go now?"

Tsubasa continued to hug me tightly, trembling, likely a reaction to the bleeding incident that had occurred earlier. It probably reminded her of Kanade. I slowly shook my head at Chris before gently patting Tsubasa's back.

"Well, we will leave you to it then," Chris said.

After he spoke, the three of them quietly left and closed the door, leaving me alone with Tsubasa. I kept patting her back, noticing my clothes becoming wet from her tears. I wondered how long this would last.

Her grip was so tight it reminded me of a mother holding her deceased child. I slowly embraced her back and patted her head, which made her loosen her grip slightly, though she still didn’t let go.

"Tsubasa, I think it's time you let go."

"NO."

That was unexpected. While I knew she had started to care for me more, her intensity suggested she hadn’t fully moved on from Kanade’s death, which I supposed was normal.

"Well, I need to go to the toilet."

"Then I will go with you."

I thought she was joking, but she wasn’t. As I got off the bed and walked toward the bathroom, she clung to me like a lost child finally reunited with their mother.

Just before I entered the toilet, she stopped me and pointed toward the girls' bathroom. I had forgotten I was in female form. I wanted to ask why I was still in this form, but I doubted I would get a clear answer now.

Still, I wondered how long she would cling to me. For now, I told her to wait outside, and she finally let me go, allowing me some peace.

"You done yet, Mei?"

I needed to speak with Genjuro about this; it was becoming overwhelming, especially since I couldn't even find a moment of peace in the toilet.

"So, Director Genjuro, can you please tell me why Tsubasa is so clingy?"

Genjuro glanced between Tsubasa and me, then patted my shoulder, giving me a thumbs-up, which indicated he wouldn’t answer. I sighed and changed the subject.

"Well, do you know why I'm still stuck in my female form?"

Earlier, in the toilet, I had tried to change back to my male form, thinking the bracelet was the cause. It didn’t work. I even tried to remove the bracelet, but it was too tight against my skin.

"As for that, Mei, I don't know why, but I already asked Fine about it, and she will probably have the answer."

Just then, the screen lit up, revealing Fine in a swimsuit, which caught me off guard for a moment. She gazed at me through the screen.

"Looks like my timing is perfect. Mei, I have good news, bad news, and worse news. Which do you want to hear first?"

"Worse news?"

"Oh, you want to hear the worst first? Sure. The bracelet is malfunctioning. I don’t know if it’s because you tried to enter the berserk state using this dimensional relic or something else, but unless I can inspect your body directly, I won’t know the cause."

"Well, we can’t have that, Fine, since you're in jail and being hidden."

"I know, which is why I haven't used any of my old contacts to respect Genjuro. The bad news is that the bracelet probably won’t come off due to the malfunction related to your berserk state."

Hearing that made me let out a slow sigh, feeling as if my male self was waving goodbye.

"Then what is the good news?"

"Well, you are going to live as a girl now. Yay!"

I suspected the good news wasn't really for me, but for her. However, I noticed Fine smirk as she glanced at Tsubasa, who was clinging to me.

"I expected her to become clingy, but this is actually a pleasant sight for me. Well, I have other things to do, so see you, Mei."

"Wai—"

She walked away as the screen returned to normal, leaving me to turn to Tsubasa, who was still lost in her own world. I decided I had to take action, so I squeezed her cheek.

"And for you, young lady, it's time to stop. I'm at my limit, so let go."

"No."

"Can you at least tell me why you're not letting go?"

"I feel like you're going to disappear."

"What about your idol activities?"

"I will take a break."

"You know you can't take a break forever, right?"

At my question, she fell silent and slowly let go. I finally saw her face, which was a mess from crying—though I wasn't surprised. I wiped her tears and snot away, then patted her head. She had changed so much compared to the original that I almost thought she was a different person.

"Now tell me, why do you think I'm going to disappear?"

"Because you're bleeding."

"That's normal in a fight."

"Yeah, but blood coming from your ears and eyes is not normal."

Well, you got me there, logical girl. Now, how to explain this to her?

"Don't worry. That was just a test. Apparently, I can't handle the Durandal in this world. I heard what it can do from you guys in the future, but mostly I was curious since, in my world, Durandal doesn't exist."

"It doesn't exist?"

"Yes, or more accurately, I don't know if it exists. I never joined the squad there because Symphogear wasn't needed anymore. The last Symphogear user in my world was Hibiki, and when she was gone, they had to create the Mechvaranus system. When I awakened the relic inside me, they didn't need Symphogear anymore—until you guys came."

"The future us?"

"Yup, and the reason I'm in this world in the first place is that you guys invited me."

Upon hearing that, Tsubasa went silent, but then she noticed something as she stared at me.

"But if that's the case, did the future us invite you because you jumped here in the past?"

"Maybe, but if that's the case, what happened to me? That would create a paradox."

"I WILL NOT ALLOW THAT TO HAPPEN!"

Tsubasa shouted with an angry expression, so filled with rage that it surprised me. I had seen Tsubasa angry in the anime, but this was different—this was the kind of fury you typically see when a main character is confronting the murder of a loved one.

"Okay, well, we don't know what happened, so our only choice is to get stronger."

"Yes, I will make sure to protect you. This time, I will succeed."

It seems I had brought out Tsubasa's negative side, which complicated my feelings. The more negativity you hold, the harder it is to control the Ignite Module, and it risks going berserk.

"Well, for now, I'm tired, so I'm going to sleep."

As I walked toward the dorm, Tsubasa grabbed the sleeve of my hospital gown, and I let out a slow sigh.

"So you want to sleep together now?"

When I asked, Tsubasa slowly nodded. I still didn't know when I could return to being male, but I felt like a new trial was on the horizon.

Just like that, I began living as a girl for real. Perhaps because of this, Tsubasa became more clingy than ever, and I tried my hardest to prevent her from acting like that at school.

The day after the berserk incident, she started coming to my class during lunch, which threw the entire school into chaos. From what I heard from Miku, many students began shipping me and Tsubasa, which I found sarcastically amusing.

In the idol business, she was relentless, clinging to me as if she were protecting me from everything. When I was Shinji, he could only let out a resigned laugh, saying I should handle it on my own. When Tsubasa was like that, she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

When I asked how he knew this so well, he explained that she had been the same with Kanade when she was alive. This only made my situation worse because, first, I wasn’t Kanade, who could handle everything with a smile, and second, I was starting to get angry.

Still, she acted like those girls in dramas who were abused by their husbands, which left me speechless.

"Seriously, why is your acting so good?" I asked.

"Training," she replied.

"Ahahahaha! Since Kanade's passing, Tsubasa's acting has improved so much that they even tried to persuade her to become an actress, but she never did."

"Well, that explains why we often get promotional jobs."

"Yes, but oddly enough, Tsubasa isn't very good at acting cute, which is why most of the promotional jobs we receive are usually about beauty or cool themes."

I slowly glanced at Tsubasa's chest and felt relieved. If she had a body like mine, she would probably get a lot of gravure modeling offers, like I did recently. Most of them were about that, but Shinji declined most offers, and sometimes they even tried to contact me directly. Tsubasa would just glare at them to make them stop.

In the end, I felt like a newbie in the idol world, which I heard was pretty dark. I couldn't help but wonder how long it would be until we received an invitation to perform with Maria. When that happened, it would mean season two was about to start.

But for now, I was focused on how to regain my male form.