Chapter 24: Worst Possible Encounter

"Ku-ku-ku… this is the place, huh."

"Just like the informant said. To think that the mercenaries who supposedly took down the Cleaners—Problem Solver 68—are living such a miserable life."

A dark, deathly quiet park at night.

Located on the very edge of the Gehenna District, the park held a few tents, some water-filled oil drums of unclear purpose, and the remnants of a campfire. It looked exactly like a campsite. In a land dominated by ruins, several human figures—rare sights in this area—stood out within the park.

All of them wore helmets that concealed their faces, firearms gripped in one hand. They were likely part of one of the factions collectively known in Kivotos as the “Helmet Gang.”

That group arrived at this sparsely populated park in the dead of night, slowly advancing toward the tents with their guns raised.

"Still, don’t you think it’s crazy? A hundred million just for taking out a bunch of homeless losers."

"Hey, don’t get careless. These are the guys rumored to have beaten the Cleaners, remember?"

"Yeah right. That’s gotta be fake. Or maybe the Cleaners were just weak enough to lose to trash like this."

"Hahaha! That too—"

"Heh. Maybe even we can take them—"

"Hey. Cut the chatter already… huh?"

After taking one step, then two, then three, she finally noticed.

"…They’re gone. Where did they…?"

Behind her—there was no one.

And then…

"…! Don’t tell me—!"

"Checkmate."

A faint glow leaked from behind them, and just like that, every helmeted student collapsed onto the ground.

"...Phew. Idiots. Way too loud… amateurs to the core."

She removed her headset and placed the controller on the desk. With a few quick taps on the keyboard, she issued a command to the AI installed in the Cleaner—Cleaner—ordering it to toss the unconscious Helmet Gang riffraff outside the park grounds.

Seriously… ever since that incident with that idiot informant, the attacks have been happening more frequently.

Whether those morons—mostly Imo—leaked the information, or whether the so-called “client” who hired the informant is just that desperate to erase me and keeps outsourcing the job, I don’t know. All I know is that money-blinded small fry show up about four times a week.

…Well, in the end, it’s probably also because we failed to bring back anything valuable from those ruins and couldn’t pay the rent, forcing our base to move from an office to a tent set up in a park…

Honestly, if I alone were the target, I could’ve just ignored it. But lately, even Aru-sama and the rest of Problem Solver 68 seem to be getting targeted. I’ve got a pretty good idea who the client is, so I’ve been thinking it’s about time to head over—gun in hand—and “negotiate.”

"Fwaaah… hn, is it morning already…"

Morning sunlight peeks in through the window.

Some of you might be feeling a sense of unease at the phrase “through the window.” Sharp eyes. Just as you’ve guessed, I’m not inside the tent where everyone from Problem Solver 68 is staying.

Where I am is… that’s right! Sensei’s house!!!

Man, this is awkward. A frail, ultra-weak Kivotos pseudo-human like me has no way to resist an adult man like Sensei, so I got swept up and carried off in no time flat. Still, who would’ve thought? Sensei likes flat, completely unsexy loli types? That’s unexpected in more ways than one. What part of this body could he possibly like? Well then, Sensei should be waking up soon. I must steel myself. I, Amari Komori, may have once been a man, but if it’s Sensei, I wouldn’t be opposed to offering this body. Very well! My resolve is set! Come what may—!

…Just kidding. Relax. Stop looking at me like I’m some poor, pitiful child.

sigh There’s no way Sensei would feel desire for someone like me. Think about it rationally. Even if the ages are different, Sensei isn’t some kind of deviant who’d lust after a loli like this. And besides, a teacher who upholds “Students First” as a motto would never harbor such feelings for a student.

…Though the reverse seems pretty common. Being the boss must be tough. That love road is a thorny one.

And the reason Sensei “abducted”… no, protected me alone by bringing me to Schale—Sensei’s home—is probably because, however disgraceful it is, he thought I was a fragile creature who couldn’t handle homeless tent life.

I don’t really mind. Tent life, I mean. I did it before after losing the office. But honestly, it does help. Having a home is better than not, and lately, attacks from people in the same line of work have been increasing. If something went wrong and I ended up taken hostage, that’d just be pathetic.

It hurts not being able to meet everyone from Problem Solver 68, but I can still talk to them through the Cleaner, so I can manage. All things considered, Sensei’s decision was probably for my own good.

"Mm… I’m hungry…"

Saying that, I open the door to Sensei’s workroom. On the desk sits a mountain of stacked documents. I felt bad just lazing around like a NEET, so I’ve been helping with the work, but honestly, there’s so much that I worry Sensei might literally die from overwork if he handled this alone.

Aside from me, Yuuka ma— ngh—! Yuuka-san has been helping too, but if I were to stop, I seriously wonder if Sensei would collapse from overwork. Is he really okay…?

"Hmm-hmm-hmm♪ Breakfast is— toast with a fried egg~♪"

Humming along to a random tune, I head to the simple kitchen set up near the workspace. I’m getting hungry, so it’s time to make breakfast. Instant ramen is a no-go this early, so I’ll just put a fried egg on top of toasted bread. Simple, but it’s really good.

…Huh? “Komori can cook something besides instant food?” you say?

Are you mocking me? Picking a fight? I’ll take you on, you know?

…Honestly, have you all forgotten? I lived alone before Problem Solver 68 picked me up. I can make a fried egg, at least. I’m not that far gone. Anything besides fried eggs? …………I can just barely manage scrambled eggs, okay?

"Mm… should I make some for Sensei too? …Yeah, that’s probably better."

I crack another egg and slide it into the frying pan. Sensei will probably wake up as soon as he smells food anyway—he did yesterday too—so it’s better to just make his portion now instead of doing it twice. …Ah, they stuck together a bit, but whatever. I can make it work.

Still, Sensei really is something else. Breakfast being just a single calorie bar—how is that okay? That’s honestly pretty bad. And this is coming from someone who lives on cup noodles. Breakfast is important. It’s your morning fuel. Even in games, you can’t focus when you’re hungry, right?

"Mmm… milk, milk… ah—"

"Komori-chan?"

"Pyeh?!"

An unexpected voice calls out from behind me. That voice isn’t Sensei’s—and it’s not Yuuka’s either, who I’ve only recently managed to talk to normally.

With just that information, my ultra–high-spec brain instantly concludes that the speaker is not someone I can safely interact with, and my entire body stiffens with tension.

There’s no hostility in the voice. What I sense instead is confusion—curiosity, maybe.

With a creeeak, like a rusted doll, I slowly turn my neck and look behind me.

And what my eyes land on is—

"H-hey… long time no see? Ahaha…"

A pink princess-class heavy tank with monstrous strength.

"...Ah… ahh… ahhhh…"

"Komori-chan?"

"HINN!!!!!"

"Komori-chan?!?!!"

SMACK!

I collapse face-first onto the floor with full force.

But then I realize something.

"A-are you okay?"

That playing dead doesn’t work on bears.

"...H-hawawa… I-I don’t taste good… awawa…"

"I’m not going to eat you?!"

You might though!!

"...Then… w-what do you want? Misono… Mika…"

I cautiously lift my face and look up at the pink angel—no, the monster wearing an angel’s skin—who’s peering down at me in concern.

This is bad. This is really bad. Her extrovert aura is overwhelming. Even ignoring her military-grade combat power, that presence alone deals fatal damage to me. Worst possible compatibility. She’s my natural predator.

"Today’s my turn to help Sensei… ahaha. But maybe I came a bit too early?"

"...I don’t think this qualifies as just ‘a bit early’…"

"I was too excited to sleep."

"...An all-you-can-eat buffet of paperwork?!"

Don’t tell me she’s the same kind of work slave as Sensei… no—worse?

"Are you thinking something rude right now?"

"No."

A psychic?

That aside—

"...The Tea Party… a high-ranking Trinity official doing assistance work… that’s kind of unexpected."

"...Former, though. You know, after that happened."

"...Ah—um… I-I’m sorry."

"The one who should apologize is me."

She says that, then bends down to meet my gaze directly as I sit frozen on the floor.

"I’m sorry."

"...?! H-hey, wait—p-please don’t—?!"

"...For doing something so terrible. And for dragging everyone else into it because of me. I don’t expect to be forgiven… but I wanted to apologize."

"W-wait… p-please… lift your face…"

"……"

Stop it! Don’t show remorse with that unnecessarily pretty face! You’re going to purify my soul!

"Uh… um… Misono, Mika… listen… I’m not angry at you. Not at all. So… there’s no need to apologize."

"...Huh?"

"...It’s true that you might have been part of the reason I got dragged into that incident. But only a small part. The main reason was that I shut myself in and stopped going to school. I was someone Kirifuji Nagisa had reason to suspect."

"B-but that’s not Komori-chan’s fault—"

"Listen… yeah… maybe you’re right… and yes, what you did was awful… but you’re talking about things like half-destroying my other self—the ‘Cleaner’—right?"

"Y-yeah…"

"Then that’s not a reason for me to resent you… because I was there strictly for work. It was a job. And because it was work, I ended up opposing you. In that case, I should’ve been prepared for a certain level of damage—and I was paid for it. I don’t have the right to complain."

Besides, I don’t do something as nonsensical as “letting personal feelings interfere with work.”

Hey, what’s with those looks?

“What about the fact that you couldn’t shoot Sensei back then?” …Well, okay, yeah, um. Exceptions exist. In everything. Right. Yes.

Anyway, I’m saying something good here, aren’t I? Shut up and listen!

"...I see. Thank you, Komori-chan."

"...It’s nothing. I’m just stating facts!?"

—squish

Mgh?! What is this softness?!

"...! L-let go…!"

"Ah—s-sorry! I just—did I squeeze too hard?"

"I-I’m f-fine…"

It was… big…

"Oh! That reminds me, Komori-chan! There is something I can do for you!"

"No—really, it’s fine—"

"It’s fine! I want to do this!"

Saying that, she somehow pulled out a gun.

…Huh?

"Come on, Komori-chan! I’ll go beat up those kids from Problem Solver 69—or whatever—who are bullying you!"

That’s not even the right number!!

"It’s unforgivable, right? Picking on such a good girl like you… but don’t worry! I’ll wipe them all out so they can never lay a hand on you again! Then you’ll be able to come back to school!"

"...Haaah."

BANG!

To snap the wildly worked-up Misono Mika out of it, I fire my handgun into the floor to draw her attention—then snap my fingers.

"Whoa?!"

"...This is hopeless…"

Responding to my finger snap, a drone bearing the Cleaner logo and carrying a hanging whiteboard flies in. The moment it arrives, I yank the cap off a marker and point it straight at the wide-eyed Misono Mika.

"Starting now! I will begin an educational session regarding Problem Solver ‘68’ and the great Rikuhachima Aru-sama! I will forcibly inject reality into that flower-filled brain of yours—so pry open those ear holes and listen very carefully!!"

"K-Komori-chan?!?!!"

And so, until Sensei finally came in—unable to endure his hunger any longer—I spent a full hour and a half lecturing an utterly stubborn Misono Mika on the many virtues of Problem Solver 68.

"—AND THAT IS WHY!!"

""

"Mornin’, Komori-chaa~n… is breakfast ready yet…?"

By the way, breakfast was completely charred.