Chapter 120: He, She, and the Season of the Spring Tenno Sho

At some point, I continued a bad dream from long ago.

Silence enveloped the scene. Right before my eyes, dreams and hopes were crushed in an instant.

In that moment, there was only one sound I could hear.

The crack of bones shattering.
The rip of flesh tearing.
…The sound of a life ending.

As the frenzy cooled and faded, it felt as though that sound alone carried all the way to the stands.

"We pushed her too far."

Just as "that girl's" partner said with a dark expression, the cause was nothing more than that—nothing less.

A snake covered in ash.
An exception among exceptions, surpassing its own bloodline.
With no innate talent and no expectations placed upon her, she nonetheless surpassed the Emperor through sheer effort, shocking everyone with an undefeated double crown.

…But from the very beginning, the idea that "that girl" could defeat the Emperor at all was unreasonable, reckless, and absurd.

The price of partially fulfilling the dream everyone wished for was precisely this outcome.

The ash-covered snake ascended to the heavens… and, true to its name, became a star……

That was one possible future she could have reached.
One of the bad endings for the Ashen Serpent.

…But even so, I think that’s just too cruel.

"That girl" ran with everything she had—ran and ran and ran.

She did everything she possibly could. Wanting to meet someone’s expectations. Wanting to be someone who was loved. Or perhaps simply wanting to beat someone—she kept running with those wishes in her heart……

There’s no way the victories she earned, the great achievements she reached, should end in tragedy.

So if that really is fate……
If her pushing herself inevitably leads to her downfall……

Then I’m sure that, both until now and from here on out, I can never allow her to overdo it—and I must not allow it.

---

I wake from a hazy half-sleep.

My head feels… clear. Maybe it was only shallow sleep.

"Haah……"

Still… what a strangely meaningful, yet utterly incomprehensible dream.

Dreams are usually nonsense. You wonder why something like that happened. Why it took such a turn. Why you somehow accepted developments that made no sense at all.

They’re chaotic at their core—things you can’t really understand. Even if you try to make sense of them, you can’t, and there’s no point in trying. That’s what dreams are.

I know the nightmare I had today falls into that category, but……

"…It’s been a while since I last had a bad dream."

I stop staring at the unfamiliar ceiling, sit up, and switch off my phone’s alarm. Then, absentmindedly, I think.

I used to have nightmares fairly often. Especially when I was living at the Horino house—I’d have one every three days or so. …Well, I don’t remember what they were about, of course.

But lately, I’ve been falling asleep easily and almost never having nightmares. Probably because of the exhaustion from the relentless workload every day… and because of the fulfillment that comes from watching my two charges gradually move closer to their respective dreams, letting me sleep like I’d black out.

Sleeping too deeply would be a problem, but it’s not like that—I still wake up to my phone alarm just fine.

Still, when was the last time I had a nightmare?

…Ah, right.

Probably since that strange dream I had on the day of the Takarazuka Kinen.

Come to think of it, today’s dream felt vaguely similar to that one……

…Ah—no, never mind.

I’ve already forgotten what today’s nightmare was about.

Dreams don’t stick well in memory. According to one theory, they’re just visual byproducts of memory organization, so there’s no fundamental need to remember them. That’s why, unless you recall them immediately upon waking and write them down to reinforce them, they fade almost instantly.

Well, a dream is just a dream—nothing more than a mosaic of memories. If that’s the case, forgetting it isn’t a problem.

After all, remembering dreams doesn’t produce anything. What matters to me now is the present—not some past moment.

Besides, the content of a dream probably doesn’t mean anything anyway. Whether it’s a good dream or a bad dream depends on your mental state at the time……

…Last night’s mental state?

"Ah."

And then I remembered. I really shouldn’t have—but I did.

What I did yesterday, to my charge after she finished the race.

"Ahh…… oh—wow, wow……"

This is bad. I’m depressed. Seriously, deeply depressed.

What the hell was I doing…?

---

Today is April 6th.

The day after Hoshino Wilm pushed herself beyond her limits in the Osaka Hai and collapsed after the race.

Wilm ran dangerously out of control in the Osaka Hai, and afterward I lost control myself—in the worst possible way. But thanks to Masa’s mediation, things somehow settled down.

After confirming that she was safe, the two of us talked briefly and then attended the winning live. After that, we rushed Wilm to the hospital and, to be safe, put her through a thorough series of detailed examinations. While that was happening, Masa and I shared information with the URA staff and discussed plans going forward.

By the time all of that was finished, it was already close to midnight.

I considered letting my two charges sleep in the back seat and driving them home myself, but the two of them—and Masa—stopped me. In the end, we stayed at a nearby hotel.

Because it was right after the Osaka Hai and everything was crowded, we had no choice but to use the Horino name to secure decent rooms.

I left the two charges in Masa’s care, took a room for myself, and went to sleep alone, but……

Right. That’s how it was.

Last night, I’d been agonizing endlessly over my own blunder.

That frustration probably invited the nightmare.

…But really, when I think about it again—

"I did something awful to Wilm……"

Yesterday, I harshly reprimanded Wilm after she finished the race. No—calling it a reprimand doesn’t even fit. There was no logic to it at all.

I was just venting my anger at her.

The panic, sorrow, fear, despair, and anger I felt the moment she collapsed—those emotions had been held in check for a while thanks to Masa, but……

Seeing Wilm happily talking about the race made them surge back all at once.

And then… pathetically enough, I ended up dumping all those negative emotions onto her.

Seriously, what was I thinking?

Who do I think I am—baring my emotions like a child? And doing it to my own charge, no less. That’s about as bad as it gets.

Unlike Wilm, I’m an adult who’s lived long enough. On top of that, I come from a prestigious family that’s expected to suppress personal feelings and dedicate itself to a greater cause.

More than that, I’m a reincarnator who inherited memories and a personality from a previous life.

My mental age should be high. Being able to suppress my own emotions should be a given.

This might sound arrogant, but since I started from a different point than others, it’s only natural that I should be better at things like this.

And yet, despite all that, I went and forced my emotions onto someone else, openly displaying my anger……

It’s a terrible failure. So terrible it makes me want to clutch my head.

That said, from my perspective at least, calling out her behavior itself wasn’t necessarily wrong.

Wilm gets fired up when she finds racing fun. That’s not a bad thing in itself—but when she gets too heated, like in her fierce battle with Teio, she crosses the line into overexertion without realizing it.

I’ve known this since the Derby. And because it was something I had trouble accepting, I’d been thinking that I should point it out someday, when the timing was right.

In this Osaka Hai, if the drawback of her "Cognitive Acceleration Ability" had struck while she was still running, she might have fallen without even being able to brace herself.

If that had resulted in a broken leg—or worse, serious brain damage—it wouldn’t be hard to imagine not just me, but everyone she knows and fans all across the country grieving.

And more than anything… I don’t want her to get injured again, like she did at the Takarazuka Kinen.

So this time, being able to warn her wasn’t wrong in itself.

However, regardless of intent, the method was absolutely terrible—close to the worst possible level.

In fact, while I did technically achieve my objective in the end, my primary motive at the time was simply to vent my anger. The fact that Wilm reflected on the issue afterward was, frankly speaking, just a lucky coincidence.

In short, it was nothing more than a windfall.

A coincidence… or rather, something that only worked out thanks to Wilm’s intelligence and Masa’s mediation.

If Wilm’s mental age had matched her physical age, or if Masa hadn’t been there, I might have done nothing more than hurt Wilm’s heart unnecessarily and left things at that.

Realizing this again, I felt just how unfair—how childish—I’d been to her, and I lowered my gaze.

…No, this is bad. If I keep thinking like this, I’ll spiral forever.

Reflection is one thing, but wallowing is extremely unproductive. I need to move on quickly.

Alright. First, let’s think about what I should do next.

A year ago, I might have thought, Someone like me isn’t fit to be Hoshino Wilm’s trainer, and tried to find someone who could raise her better than I could……

But that’s no longer an option—one I can’t take, and don’t want to take.

Wilm trusts me, and I want to live up to that trust.

And besides… there are feelings between us that go beyond trust.

I want to be Wilm’s trainer, and I believe Wilm wants me to remain her trainer as well… assuming I’m not being overly self-conscious.

At this point, I have no desire to run away from this relationship.

If she wants me by her side, then I want to answer that desire……

…It might be inappropriate to blur the line between personal and professional like this, but I want to be beside her too.

So then, after making such a grave mistake and likely damaging her trust, what should I do next?

"…I’ll apologize. With everything I’ve got."

There’s no other choice.

If you do something wrong, you make amends. If you mess up, you apologize.

That’s basic common sense in modern society—something even elementary schoolers are taught.

…Well, I don’t actually remember my elementary school days anymore, but still.

---

I had planned to apologize in the morning…

Unfortunately, things didn’t go quite that smoothly.

You see, Wilm—despite appearances—is terrible in the mornings.

And not just a little. She’s unbelievably, catastrophically bad.

Apparently, since she normally doesn’t show that weakness to others, she wakes up early and stays in bed until her consciousness fully clears…

But yesterday, she’d gone all out past her limits in the Osaka Hai, suffered emotional exhaustion from the confrontation afterward, had to appeal to fans during the winning live, and then had her bedtime pushed back even further due to the detailed medical examinations.

All of those factors piled on top of each other.

As a result—

This morning, Hoshino Wilm hadn’t fully woken up and was the most limp and mushy I’d ever seen her.

Even at the breakfast buffet, she was essentially being dragged along by the already sharp Masa and the ever-reliable Bourbon. She looked about half-awake—no, closer to ninety percent unconscious.

She was technically wearing proper clothes, but it was obvious someone else had dressed her.

On top of that, when Masa asked, "Hoshino Wilm, should I grab a few things for you at random?" Wilm simply let out a soft "Mmm…" without opening her eyes.

Watching Wilm slowly chew on a fried egg and smear yellow across her lips was devastatingly cute—honestly, I could’ve watched her all day…

But obviously, we couldn’t stay at the hotel forever without returning to Tracen.

By the time checkout and departure rolled around, Wilm had finally regained something close to full awareness. We bundled her into the car and headed back toward the Central Tracen area, with me behind the wheel.

…To be honest, the atmosphere inside the car was a little awkward.

We survived thanks to Masa keeping the conversation going. Seriously—thank you, Masa.

---

And so, just after noon, inside my trainer’s office at Tracen Academy.

I bowed my head and offered a sincere, wholehearted apology.

"I want to apologize properly. I’m sorry, Wilm.

What I did yesterday was thoughtless toward someone who gave her all in a race. I swear I’ll never take that kind of attitude again."

An apology alone wouldn’t magically restore lost trust.

Trust lost through actions can only be regained through actions.

Still, this was a turning point.

A declaration that I would reclaim what I’d lost, little by little, through what I do from here on.

A switch—one that marked the beginning of changing my behavior.

I hoped Wilm would feel that too.

…Or so I thought.

Contrary to my expectations, she neither accepted it outright nor rejected it.

"I’m the one who should be apologizing."

She bowed deeply—to me.

As I froze in place, she continued, her voice steady.

"I made a decision unbefitting your Uma Musume without thinking about how you’d feel, Ayumu… I’m truly sorry."

"No, that was because you wanted to win—"

"Yes. It’s true that I wanted to win. At the time, I was swept up in the heat of my match against Teio and ran without thinking…

But what I truly want is to win together with you, Ayumu, without any regrets. If I win in a way that makes my precious partner sad, then it means nothing.

So… so I’m the one who’s sorry! I won’t do anything like that again! I won’t, so please—um…"

"So?"

"Please don’t terminate our contract…! I’ll do better. I’ll work harder—as your Uma Musume!"

She shouted those words in a voice soaked with desperation, continuing to bow her head.

…………

Ah.
I see.

So that’s how it is.

Maybe she and I… are more alike than I thought.

"Fu—heheh."

"Eh—h-hey! Th-this is not something to laugh about!?"

"No, sorry. I don’t mean to mock you or anything like that. It’s just… how do I put it… it made me a little happy, I guess."

"Happy?"

I forced the laughter down, cleared my throat with a small cough, and spoke honestly.

"You asking me not to terminate the contract, saying you’ll become someone worthy of me… those were words I originally had in my own heart.

So hearing you think the same way—it’s strange, kind of funny, and somehow reassuring, all at once."

Ever since the Takarazuka Kinen last year, when her run that left everything behind captivated me…

I’d come to strongly wish to be her trainer—to be someone worthy of standing beside her.

I wanted to cultivate those legs even further.
I wanted to know the ultimate heights of her running.
…And I wanted to be her partner.

To stay by her side, from here on out.

That was why I’d been desperately trying to be a trainer worthy of her—so I’d never hear words like “insufficient ability, contract terminated.”

But it seems those feelings weren’t one-sided after all.

"My Uma Musume," huh.

Yeah… she’d been saying that for a long time now.

Given that she felt that way, I owed her a proper apology about this too.

"I’m sorry for making you anxious, Wilm.

But I won’t ever ask for a contract termination again—no matter what happens. Even if you act in a way that goes against my wishes, I’ll talk it through with you properly and tell you if I need you to stop.

…Well, saying that after yesterday’s disgraceful display probably doesn’t inspire much trust."

Yeah. Really.

Only someone who could actually stay calm in that situation has the right to say something like that.

What mouth am I even speaking with? It’s embarrassing just hearing myself say it.

As I gave a self-deprecating smile at my own shamelessness, Wilm let out a quiet breath of relief.

"Thank goodness… The car ride back felt kind of tense, so I thought maybe… and it scared me a little."

"No, I was just thinking about how I should apologize to you."

I’d felt the tension from her side too and assumed it was just awkwardness…

Turns out we’d both been overthinking things and ended up on edge because of it.

I gave a wry smile at the ridiculous misunderstanding, but Wilm clearly didn’t find it amusing—she suddenly leaned forward.

"Anyway, Ayumu, you didn’t even need to apologize in the first place! It was a loss for both of us, but I couldn’t accept that and ended up causing a lot of confusion for everyone—that’s on me!"

"You were just following your instincts as an Uma Musume. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just that it clashes with my own principles. That’s why we needed to talk about it—

No, that’s off-topic. The real issue here is that I let my emotions get the better of me—"

"That’s not wrong either! That just means you care about me that much, Ayumu! There’s no way a trainer being protective of their Uma Musume is a bad thing!"

"If you put it that way, then you’re the same. You were willing to restrain your own desire to win—for my sake. Wanting to win, wanting to run more—drive like that can’t be wrong at its core."

"No, that’s not what I mean! I’m the one who should be apologizing and asking you properly, because if we’re going to keep running together like this—"

"I’m the one who should apologize. If my inadequacy ends up hurting you, then I’m unfit to be a trainer—"

That was about how the heated exchange went…

"…Um. Can we stop now?"

Masa’s voice cut cleanly through the deadlock.

As Wilm and I both turned toward her, my little sister spoke with a visibly exhausted expression.

"This is going nowhere, and I get it—you both care deeply about each other. I really, really get that.

But instead of arguing over who was more at fault, can’t we just say you’re both responsible, agree to be more careful, and move on?

What we need isn’t a blame game—or a confession contest—but a discussion about how to handle things going forward."

…Hm. She has a point.

I believe I was at fault.
Yesterday, I let my emotions overflow, and my presence ended up distorting her judgment.

She believes she was at fault.
She cast aside the hopes she carried and betrayed my wishes.

We both crossed into each other’s territory unintentionally—and neither of us can stop blaming ourselves for it.

In that case, instead of one side being at fault…

It’s probably most natural to conclude that both of us had things to reflect on.

When I glanced at Wilm, she wore an expression that clearly said That’s true.

Well, it was closer to her usual neutral face—but her eyebrows were slightly raised, and her ears were upright. We’ve been together long enough that I can tell.

"…Alright then. Let’s say we both apologize, and that’s the end of it. Is that okay, Wilm?"

"Um… yeah. I think that’s fine. Once again, I’m sorry about this."

"I was wrong too. I’ll be more careful next time."

And with that, Wilm and I bowed to each other, calling a truce.

---

Now then—once the pointless confession battle between Wilm and me was over, the next thing to consider was exactly what Masa had said: our path forward.

"Alright. As for concrete improvements after this incident… it’ll probably be fastest if Wilm and I each talk about what we want from the other."

At that, Wilm tilted her head slightly and nodded.

"Things you want from me?"

"In short, it’s about clearly defining rules we’re not allowed to break. What I’m asking of you is this: no using your 'Cognitive Acceleration Ability' beyond thirty seconds, and no forward-leaning posture outside that window—in other words, no using the Tenboshi Spurt."

In the end, that’s what I have to demand.

Hoshino Wilm’s so-called natural cheat—her "Cognitive Acceleration Ability." And the out-of-bounds running style she created, the Tenboshi Spurt.

Using either beyond their limits places an excessive burden on her body.

It’s like a powerful medicine. As long as you follow the prescribed dosage, it works wonders in a race—but the moment you break that rule, it turns into poison.

That’s precisely why, as her trainer, it’s my responsibility to strictly enforce those limits from now on.

During training—and, of course, during races as well.

I need to hedge risks as much as possible, send my Uma Musume out to run safely, and be there to welcome them back afterward.

That is my role as a trainer.

…While I was reaffirming all of that to myself, Wilm stood in front of me with a hand to her chin, thinking.

"I see, so that’s the kind of thing you mean. In that case… no, I don’t really have anything I need to restrict on my end."

"Sorry, but come up with something. Otherwise this won’t be equal."

"That’s true… ah, then—"

She gave a fleeting, slightly apologetic smile.

"If I do something wrong again, please make sure to scold me properly. I realized this all over again, but I don’t think I have particularly strong self-control… so I’d really appreciate it if you could rein me in when that happens, Ayumu."

"…That’s a pretty harsh thing to say."

Without thinking, I scratched the back of my head.

In a way, her words felt like a pointed jab—at how I’d abandoned my responsibility to guide her rationally and instead let my emotions run wild. It was as if she were saying I couldn’t even fulfill the most basic duty of an instructor.

…Still.

If that’s what she wants, then all I can do is answer her.

If I can’t do it yet, then I just have to learn how.

"Alright. I’ll keep that in mind. If you ever look like you’re about to stray off the path, I’ll stop you—no matter when."

"Th-that somehow makes it sound even more like we’re partners… I mean, yes, that’s exactly what I asked for, but still."

Wilm coughed awkwardly, trying to hide her embarrassment, then let out a clumsy smile she couldn’t quite suppress.

"…Well, um. Let’s take care of each other on that front, okay."

---

For now, things had settled down.

We’d been dealing with the aftermath, but originally today was a Monday right in the middle of the spring G1 season. Bourbon’s challenge toward the Triple Crown was about to begin in earnest, with the Satsuki Sho—the first step—only two weeks away. Even Wilm’s next race, the Tenno Sho (Spring), was just three weeks out.

Naturally, this was a time when they should be devoting themselves to training as much as possible.

With that in mind, I was about to send my two trainees off to practice right away, but—

Just as I opened my mouth, Bourbon raised her hand, cutting me off.

"Hm? What is it, Bourbon? You have something to say?"

"Affirmative. I request permission to speak."

"That’s fine. Go ahead."

"Understood."

She dipped her head in a precise bow, then spoke again.

"I invoke my 'Reward Privilege' and make a request. Master, when you have the time, I would like you to formally greet my parents."

At those words—

The smile that had been resting on Wilm’s face until just a moment ago froze solid.