Chapter 24: Swallowed by Darkness
I was running away.
I didn’t want to believe what I’d just seen was real.
Driven by impulse, I kept running aimlessly through the dark streets.
I couldn’t bring myself to confirm it.
I was scared.
Scared of knowing the truth.
So terrified I didn’t know what to do.
After Minami’s confession, Haruto was smiling.
That was probably his way of saying yes.
The giddy feeling I had when I left the house had completely vanished.
No—more than that, it felt like the very foundation of my world had been overturned.
Because it was thanks to Haruto that I could accept myself as a girl.
It was because of him that I found the strength to move forward.
I wanted him to look my way.
That was the one thought that had driven me this far.
My legs tangled, and I barely stopped myself from stumbling.
But in the end, I dropped to my knees.
I couldn’t do it.
I had no strength left.
A thick, muddy terror coiled in my chest, stabbing me with a throbbing pain.
…The resolve I’d desperately hardened over the past few days—it had all been built on shaky ground.
The moment I saw that scene, it crumbled away with an almost laughably hollow sound.
I never stood a chance.
I knew because I’d liked him before.
Minami was earnest, adorable—and an incredibly irritating girl.
Meanwhile, Haruto still didn’t even see me as a girl.
I was completely outside the realm of romance for him.
That’s why he could so casually say he wanted me to go back to how I used to be.
The fact that I was once a boy.
Oddly enough, Haruto was the only one who remembered that in detail.
But that was exactly why I fell for him.
A strange paradox.
But because of it, maybe he’d never see me as a girl.
I’d carried that fear all this time—and kept looking away.
"It’s okay, sis. You’re a wonderful girl."
Hoshiko’s words from before had given me courage because they were exactly what I’d wanted to hear.
But now, it was over.
Everything was too late.
…Before I knew it, I was at the riverside on the edge of town.
Had I been walking unconsciously this whole time?
Trying to calm myself, I sat down.
By now, the area had grown dim, and there was no one else around.
Just silence.
A chilling sensation ran down my spine as I fell into the delusion that I was the only one left in the world.
Desperate to suppress my unease, I looked up at the sky—still devoid of stars.
Then another night breeze blew, sending the shopping note in my hand fluttering into the air.
I scrambled to catch it, but my body refused to move the way I wanted.
The note drifted lightly onto the water’s surface.
…It was close enough to reach if I crouched.
Crawling forward to retrieve it, I locked eyes with my own reflection in the faintly shimmering water.
I must’ve been crying without realizing.
Swollen eyelids, hollow eyes.
If I went home looking like this, Mom would definitely worry.
Hoshiko would probably complain about being hungry.
Dad was likely still working overtime for our sake—he probably wouldn’t be back for a while.
And then—
"…I wonder what Haruto’s doing right now."
Even after what I’d just seen, he was the only thing on my mind.
I muttered it to no one in particular—or so I thought.
『—If you want to know, should I tell you?』
"W-Who’s there…?"
A voice echoed in my head.
Familiar somehow—a girl’s voice.
Confused, I jerked my head up.
I scanned my surroundings, but there was no one.
Yet the mocking voice didn’t stop.
『They’re a couple now. Holding hands… who knows, maybe they’ve even kissed already.』
"—That’s not true!"
The denial burst out of me.
There was no basis for it.
Just pure wishful thinking.
But the voice didn’t stop.
If anything, it seemed amused, continuing cheerfully.
『Right now, they’re probably talking about it. About how annoying that girl was for clinging to him. How bothersome it was to keep saying her name. How exhausting it was to go out just to humor her. How he had to force himself to eat those terrible bento boxes like some childish game.』
"He’d—he’d never say that! Haruto still thinks of me as his best friend!"
I desperately argued back.
No—it wasn’t even arguing. Just words to convince myself.
Because as if the images were being fed directly into my brain… I could vividly imagine Haruto complaining, and the pain of it felt like my heart was being gouged out.
『You don’t understand. Haruto is kind. He pitied a stray dog that latched onto him. No one else would bother with something so troublesome. That’s the only reason he never said anything. Don’t you think? Who in their right mind would willingly put up with such a messed-up half-boy, half-girl?』
I cowered, trembling under the blade of those words.
I covered my ears and curled up like a turtle, but the assault didn’t stop.
As if satisfied with my reaction, the girl chuckled softly.
"What the hell do you know about me and him?!"
I screamed into the void.
I didn’t know what she’d say next—I was just scared.
I wanted to drown out her voice with my own.
『Oh, but I do know him. Just as well as you do.』
But the girl only laughed at me.
Like she was looking down on some ignorant child.
The voice looked down on me with contempt, as if mocking a weakling who couldn't face reality.
She continued spinning her cruel truths.
In the watery reflection, I saw myself - smiling as I pointed back at me.
『Because I am you. The cowardly, deceitful, clingy version of me.』
"...!"
『I know. Right now, you hate Minami-chan. You loathe how she gets to live peacefully while you suffer. Even though you willingly became her substitute.』
"Shut up!"
It was true.
Every time I saw her, bitterness welled up inside me. That's why I kept avoiding her.
I had fought for her with my life on the line.
No matter how painful it got, I wanted to protect that smile... And Haruto was the one who gave me strength back then.
I was so happy thinking we had truly connected.
But Minami had completely forgotten about the old me.
She never reached out to help.
No matter how much I begged, she just kept making that troubled face and calling me "Luna-chan."
Each time, filthy emotions bubbled up from the depths of my chest.
The resentment became unbearable.
Every time I saw her face, I wanted to twist it in agony.
...This was pure misplaced hatred.
The lowest, most unreasonable feeling imaginable.
It made me sick to my stomach.
Yet I couldn't control these emotions.
But that alone would have been manageable.
I could have just bottled it up and avoided Minami forever.
But that proved impossible.
Because she took Haruto from me.
When I woke up that day, I had lost everything.
My past memories ruthlessly erased.
My family seeing someone else when they looked at me.
Haruto was my only remaining hope.
And now she was trying to take him too...?
『You've grown weak. You can't even maintain your sense of self without depending on someone. That once-indomitable spirit of yours is now pitiful. You've been reduced to a frightened child. All because of that man - Amrutat - who used you as a shield and planted the 'Dark Seed' within you.』
Haruto... no, the voice whispered admonishingly.
Then suddenly shifted to a gentle tone.
『But it's okay. Your feelings are completely justified.』
That sickeningly sweet voice.
Yet I couldn't deny its words.
She spoke directly to my heart.
Like some twisted lullaby.
A distorted comfort enveloped me.
『—Direct your hatred outward. You still have that much strength, don't you? No one will stop you. If something was taken from you, just take it back. That's the natural right of the strong.』
It was encouragement.
A curse.
Manipulation.
—And a blessing.
What should have repelled me instead sounded unbearably sweet to my ears.
In response, dark emotions came bubbling up.
That thing I had suppressed—
The day I first awakened as Luna, when I heard Haruto's voice.
My heart began pounding at an alarming rate.
Blackened emotions crawled through my veins, spreading through my entire body.
Burning heat.
Stinging pain.
And the ecstasy of release.
Rage.
Hatred.
Jealousy.
This raging torrent of intertwined emotions crashed over me like a tsunami.
In the end, I couldn't resist—
"Haru...to..."
My outstretched hand reached no one.
I found myself standing in an abandoned factory at night.
Why was I here...?
My consciousness remained hazy, unclear.
Yet I felt strangely exhilarated.
My entire body burned with feverish heat.
I think I had gone out shopping—
That's right.
I had seen it with my own eyes.
Akashi Minami.
That girl trying to steal Haruto from me.
Remembering that was enough.
My thoughts finally crystallized.
Anyone who tries to take him from me will die.
Family or friends—it doesn't matter.
They never helped me when I was suffering.
If Haruto ever tries to leave me—
(Not that he ever would)—
I'll sever his tendons so he can't run away.
If he still resists,
I'll impale him with my sword,
preserve him like a specimen.
Just his head would be enough.
That's all I need to keep loving him.
No one can interfere.
No one can judge me.
I have that much power now.
"Ahaha!"
Overflowing with satisfaction, my lips curled into a smile.
In the mirror-like surfaces of the abandoned factory,
only my eerie laughter continued echoing.
Comments (2)
Please login or sign up to post a comment.