Chapter 2: Muscles and Lovers Are a Lot Alike—They Get Jealous Real Easy!

Travel is a wonderful thing.

The idea of spending an entire day on foot—back when I was living as a noble, I never would've imagined it. Nobles, as a species, considered it a status symbol to use convenient means of transportation like carriages or rickshaws.

I had a vague sense of it before, but now I know for sure. My muscles are seriously lacking in endurance.

I've done all sorts of training up to now, and I’ve built up decent explosive strength. But endurance? That’s where I’ve always fallen short.

It’s not like I slacked off. I just didn’t have time. Between magical theory, etiquette lessons, and social functions, nobles are surprisingly busy. I trained in what little time I had—usually late at night, after all my noble duties were done.

Which meant I never had the chance to do prolonged, low-intensity training throughout an entire day like this.

"...You really have been training, haven’t you? Miss Irine, you don’t look tired at all."

"That’s not quite true. I’m just hiding it well. I don’t often do this sort of extended physical exertion."

"Ah, sorry. Are you actually tired? Want to take a break?"

"No, thank you. If I needed to rest from this much, I wouldn’t stand a chance against the Demon King."

Maybe it’s because I don’t have many endurance muscles, but even just walking is giving me a nice burn. My muscles are definitely getting some quality torment.

Just that alone makes this journey worth it. With a few tweaks to the kind of strain I put on them, my muscles are bound to grow even more.

Next, I’d like to try jogging for a while. That should do the trick.

"Remember how Lev had to be carried by Karl the whole day when she first joined us?"

"Compared to that, Irine’s got pretty good stamina."

"Auu..."

Lev’s basically a little woodland creature, just looking at her. Not exactly the muscular type. Can’t blame her for that.

There, there. If she gets tired, I’ll carry her myself like a weighted backpack... is what I’d like to say, but we’re not that close yet. Actually, she’s still super wary of me.

Every time I try to approach her, her shoulders twitch and she hides behind Maika or Karl.

I’d really like us to get along already...

"By the way, what are your plans once we get to Lewin?"

"We’re planning to use it as a base for a while."

"Hmm, and specifically?"

"According to the goddess, it’s the city the demons will target first. So we’re going to gather intel there while we wait for them to make their move."

I see. So basically, I get to spend some time in Lewin working on my training. I’ll need to fine-tune my muscles in preparation for the battles ahead.

...Wait, hold on. Where exactly am I supposed to do my training? I can’t just go huff huff grunt grunt in front of a bunch of strangers I’ve only just met.

I mean, watching someone train looks kind of... unsightly. For the sake of my family’s dignity, I really want time to exercise in private, away from prying eyes.

But if I’m traveling with others, is there even a chance I’ll get to be alone? I’d need at least a few hours for a proper workout...

...This could be a serious problem. Don’t tell me I won’t be able to train like I used to!?

That’d be a disaster. Muscles are jealous and unforgiving. Stop giving them attention for even a little while, and they’ll immediately turn their backs on you.

If all the inner muscle I’ve painstakingly built up starts to go soft and flabby, I might just kill myself from the shock.

Hmm. I need a strategy. Maybe I could sneak out in the middle of the night and train then? But staying up late is bad for my skin, and as a proper lady, I’d really rather not...

“Let’s camp around here for the night.”

“...Oh?”

While I was pondering how to preserve my relationship with my muscles, Karl came to a stop in a wide, open field and dropped his pack with a thud. When I looked up at the sky, I realized the sun had turned red and was starting to dip beneath the horizon.

“If we made it this far today, that’s good enough. At this pace, we’ll reach Lewin in three days.”

“Yeah, let’s stop here. Irine’s not used to traveling yet, so we shouldn’t push it.”

The red sky cast its glow over the open plain. So it’s about time to make camp, then.

...How do you even make camp? What should I help with?

“So we’re resting here for the night? Then, uh, what exactly am I supposed to do?”

“It’s a bit dirty, but use this sleeping bag, Irine. Maika and I will take watch tonight. You’re new to this, so just get some rest.”

“...Th-thank you very much. I’m grateful, but, um. Are we really just going to sleep here? Out in the open, with nothing around?”

“Exactly. Because there’s nothing around, we’re less likely to be attacked.”

All around us is a vast, open plain. In the distance, there are some trees, but nothing close by—no cover, no obstacles. Just open land.

Wait, we’re seriously sleeping out here?

“H-how are we supposed to bathe? There’s no water source anywhere nearby...”

“Pff—finally, Irine’s acting like a noble. Adventurers don’t get to bathe every day, you know.”

“We’ll try to find a river tomorrow. Sorry, Irine, but you’ll have to go without for today.”

Maika let out a cheerful laugh, clearly amused.

So... commoners don’t purify themselves regularly, huh. No wonder they look so unkempt.

Well, I only really worry about appearances because of my upbringing as a lady. While I’m pretending to be a commoner, I suppose I can let that slide...

────There really isn’t a single moment to be alone, huh.

“...Is the noble life just not cut out for traveling? You wanna head back?”

“I most certainly do not. ...In that case—”

Alright, that does it. Time to get forceful. If I want to keep the love between me and my muscles alive, I’ve got no choice but to bust out some flashy magic for the first time in forever.

This isn’t cheating on my muscles. On the contrary—it’s an expression of my undying love. Besides, I really do need to be able to use magic when it counts.

“Ahem, everyone, would you mind stepping back for a moment?”

“...Huh?”

Okay, I don’t quite remember the whole incantation for high-tier magic, but it’s coming back to me. Bit by bit.

I am technically in this party as a magic user, so I might as well treat this as a refresher and go all out.

“Spirit of flame, winds of divine fury, silken breeze, great sealing rupture of the exploding land!”

“Uh, Miss Irine?”

“Come, dust storm! Scatter, flaming rock! Gather now, the steel of restraint!!”

“W-what!? Is she mad!? Is it really that bad that she couldn’t bathe!?”

Ah. I think I messed up the chant a little. It was supposed to be ‘black iron of restraint,’ not steel...

Eh, whatever. Doesn’t matter now. I’ll just fire it off anyway.

“Here I go—this is my max output! EXTREEEEEEME... BUSTEEEEEEEEER!!”

────BOOOOOM.

The advanced flame spell I unleashed for the third time in my life—and the first time in over a year—hit a hill in the distance and erupted into a massive explosion.

Ugh. I still don’t like magic. Remembering all the incantations is a pain, and managing the mana flow feels so fiddly and tedious.

Sure, the power’s nothing to complain about, but there’s just no romance in it. It’s like setting off a bomb. That’s all.

Yeah, hand-to-hand combat suits me way better. Someday, I want to throw a punch with the same destructive force as a high-tier spell.

“Nyaaaaahh!!”

"Eeeek!?"

The desperate screams of my companions echoed nearby.

Had they never seen advanced magic up close? Glancing over, I saw Karl and the others slumped on the ground, paralyzed. Come on, don’t freak out—it’s just an explosion.

"Uh, um, Lady Irine? What exactly were you—"

"It’s done. A side tunnel."

"Huh?"

But my efforts in using magic—which I hate—paid off. My spell succeeded beautifully, blasting a massive hole into the small hill on the plain.

Now we had a makeshift cave.

"Hehe. Well then, I shall take my bath inside. As long as Lord Karl doesn’t intentionally peek, I can undress without being seen."

"Ohhh, so that’s why you suddenly cast— Wait, where’s the water source?"

"I have an affinity for water magic. I’ll be borrowing some time for myself now."

"R-right. Take your time."

"...So you can just casually alter the terrain with magic, huh? Nobles are either bold or just something else."

Perfect. I’d forcefully created a private space for myself.

Now, time to huff-huff as quietly as possible.

"...Is Lady Irine a bit... unusual?"

"Yeah. Not mean, but definitely eccentric."

"Scary... Explosion magic is scary..."

I could hear murmurs behind me, but I pretended not to. Right now was my sacred time with Muscle.

Today, I’d start with ultra-high-speed squats. Here we go—10,000 SQUATS, RAAAAH!!

"...Should we prepare the sleeping area?"

"Yeah."

"...? Hey, do you hear some insane huff-huff noise?"

"Huh? No, I don’t."

"What even is huff-huff, Lev?"

"I mean, it’s like... a sound you can only describe as huff-huff—"

Quiet, quiet—keep it down!! Huff! Huff! HuffhuffhuffhuffHUFF!!

"N-no, I definitely hear it!"
"Lev, you okay?"

Huff—HAH!! Huff—HAH!!

---

"...Lady Irine is taking a while."

—Hnnggh—!! 300 more handstand push-ups!!

Hnnggh!! Hnnggh!! Hn—ngh...!

"She’s taking too long for a bath. Maika, go check on her."

"Got it."

...Hnnggh?

"Heyyy, Lady Irinee?"

Maika’s voice reached me from outside the cave as footsteps approached.

Seems I got too absorbed in my love for muscles. A fair amount of time must’ve passed.

I quickly splashed water from the bucket over my sweat-drenched body. No one could find out a noble lady was doing hardcore training deep in a cave.

If they did, I’d just seem like some weirdo.

"Yes, what is it?"

"Ah, there you are! You were taking so long, we got worried—"

Maika poked her head into the cave’s depths. But it was too late—I’d already covered my tracks.

To her, it should just look like I was bathing normally.

"I was, um, taking extra care of my hair. I’ve cherished it for so long—even on a journey, I won’t neglect it."

"Ohh, I get that. Your hair is long and gorgeous. Yeah, that makes sense!"

(I’ve never cared for my hair before... But hey, not bad for a spur-of-the-moment excuse.)

"I’ll be out shortly."

"Roger thaaat!"

Either way, I’d dodged suspicion. Once Maika left, I’d resume training.

After hitting today’s quota, I’d actually wash my hair properly to sell the act.

"...Well, I’ll just... head back..."

Maika, looking satisfied, gave a quick nod and turned to leave.

But then—she froze. Her eyes widened, her face twitching.

"Oh? Is something wrong, Maika?"

"Uh, h-huh?!"

Her face paled, and she let out a strangled noise, shrinking back.

...What the hell was that about?

“A, A, A—”

“…Heh?”

“KYAAAAA!!! SNAKEEEE!!!”

She let out a scream, fell flat on her rear, and clung tightly to me.

Ah… now that I looked more closely, it seemed the snake had woken from its slumber due to the shockwave from the spell. It slithered out of the dirt, poking its head up.

So that’s the culprit.

“S-snake! Snake!!”

“…Are you afraid of snakes, Miss Maika?”

“Who wouldn’t be!? When I was little, one bit me and I almost died! You can’t underestimate snakes—they hurt like hell when they bite, and the pain’s so intense you can’t even faint!”

“My goodness.”

It was rare to see Miss Maika this flustered.

Apparently, she had some trauma related to snakes. She always seemed so calm and aloof, but it looked like she was unexpectedly vulnerable to this sort of thing.

“Well then, allow me to chase it away for y—”

“What happened, Maikaaaa!?”

“…Heh?”

Right then, a panicked Karl came diving headfirst into the hole where I’d been bathing.

He was so sudden, I had no time to cover myself. In fact, I had a cloth wrapped around my hand to catch the snake, so I was completely and utterly naked—just as I was born.

And so, stark naked, I came face-to-face with Karl, who stood there, eyes wide in disbelief.

“…Ah.”

“Heh…?”

Naturally, aside from my father, no man had ever seen me unclothed before.

I’ll have you know—I am a proper noble lady, raised with care.

“Ah—uh—wait, are you… okay, Maika?”

“……”

Karl froze, too confused to move. It seemed he hadn’t fully grasped what had happened yet.

Hmm.

“Please stay still, Karl. A snake came out over there.”

“S-snake? Oh—right, a snake. Got it.”

Unbothered, I walked over to Karl, calmly plucked the snake up by its head, and tossed it out of the cave.

It had survived being right next to my explosion spell. Hang on to that life of yours, snake.

“A-ahh, right. The snake. So Maika screamed because of the snake…”

“That’s correct.”

As the situation slowly came into focus, Karl’s face began to turn pale.

A commoner had just walked in on a noble girl bathing before marriage. Frankly, that was the kind of crime you could get executed for.

And to make matters worse, he was still looking directly at me—without even trying to avert his gaze. Brazen to the last.

“Th-this isn’t what it looks like! I mean, I didn’t mean to—!”

“Turn around already, you pervert!!”

“I’M SO SORRYYYY!!”

Thud—a very satisfying sound echoed through the cave.

Maika, who had recovered now that the snake was gone, delivered a clean knee to Karl’s face.

Right in the center, too. The blow landed solidly under his chin—excellent form.

“I’m so sorry, Irine! That idiot Karl—no, it’s my fault for screaming in the first place!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I really didn’t mean anything by it, I swear, I’m so sorry!!”

Despite taking a solid hit, Karl fluidly dropped into a deep dogeza, prostrating on the ground.

…He’s pretty tough, this guy.

“Fufufu, no need to worry, Miss Maika.”

“Ugh… I really don’t think Karl meant anything by it, so if you could just find it in your heart to forgive him…”

“I’m not even angry to begin with.”

And so, in front of the thoroughly flustered, shamefaced pervert, I gave him a calm smile and gently patted his head.

Heh, as if I couldn’t tell whether a man had any dirty thoughts. Don’t underestimate me.

“Surely Father mentioned it to you—I can usually tell when someone is lying or trying to hide something.”

“Eh? Uh, I-I see…”

“I saw your face when you rushed in here, Karl. You looked like someone overcome with worry for his comrade. You weren’t thinking—you just acted, didn’t you?”

“Y-yeah…”

Well then, there’s no reason for me to blame him.

A man’s gotta have at least one or two accidental pervert incidents in his youth. It’s part of the package! Part of growing up!

“To move without thinking, purely out of concern for a friend—that’s one of your virtues, you know? There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“B-but… I saw your body, Irine…”

“If you’d had even the slightest indecent intent, you’d be getting quite the punishment right now. But… I’m not so narrow-minded as to be outraged over a simple accident.”

Still standing tall, without even bothering to hide myself (you’re welcome), I addressed Karl as he cautiously looked up.

“Your sincerity and concern for your comrade moved me. In light of your noble spirit, I’ll overlook this little incident. Please, continue to be the upright man you are, Karl.”

“Oh. Ohhh…”

“This too is noblesse oblige! A noble’s pride and duty!”

“O-oh… huh?”

Karl tilted his head slightly at my grand declaration.

Yeah, well—noblesse oblige has nothing to do with this. I just felt like saying it.

“You’re really forgiving me, Irine…?”

“That’s exactly what I said, isn’t it?”

If you had come in with any dirty thoughts, I’d have sent you flying. But, well—let’s call this one a clean slate.

Besides, judging from how quickly Miss Maika jumped to defend him, it doesn’t look like he’s got a history of this sort of thing.

“If it had been Maika instead, I’d probably be dealing with a full-body compound fracture by now… Irine, you’re unbelievably kind.”

“Did you say something, Karl?”

“Eek. N-no! Just—thank you so much, Irine! I swear, it’ll never happen again!”

“See that it doesn’t!”

He turned around and walked out, carefully avoiding another glance at my body.

Good. Reflect on your actions and don’t make the same mistake twice.

“…You’ve got a big heart, Irine.”

“Not at all. I have no mercy for people who act with ill intent.”

“…Still, I don’t think I could’ve forgiven him that easily if it were me.”

Miss Maika looked at me in surprise, as if she hadn’t expected I’d be so quick to let it go.

Well, I may look like this, but I’m a guy at heart, aiming to be a man among men. Being seen naked doesn’t really faze me that much.

The standard for whether I get angry about someone seeing me naked is pretty simple: whether they’re a bad person or not.

“…I wish I could be that calm around Karl too.”

────For some reason, Miss Maika stared at me with a look of quiet envy.

---

“Aha! Just now!! That filthy commoner dove right into the hole where Sister was bathing!!”

“My, so he did.”

“His true colors revealed! This is why men are the worst! Fufufu, I can’t wait—he’s as good as executed. Do you think he can survive that punishment from Sister?”

“…You speak as if you’ve been on the receiving end of it before, Lady Ilia.”

“This will finally open Sister’s eyes. Traveling with a commoner man? Absolutely outrageous!! If I talk some sense into her, I’m sure she’ll come back home where she belongs!!”

Far behind the camp where the party had set up for the night…

Two figures—one noble young lady and her maid, sneaking about as they stalked the older sister from the shadows—pointed at the distant camp, raising a loud and frantic fuss.