Chapter 17: The Change in Meaning and the Conclusion End

"I... I, Kanata Haguro, love Nobuchika Toyama. I love you from the bottom of my heart. I want you to stay by my side from now on too—as my best friend, as my lover, there’s no one else for me but you! I want you to... marry me!!"

My answer was already decided. If Kanata wanted me, then I wanted to respond to that with everything I had.
I hadn’t thought about marriage just yet, so that part surprised me, but it wasn’t a problem at all.

I took the ring in my hand and answered.

"Yes, I, Nobuchika Toyama, also love Kanata Haguro, from the bottom of my heart. I want to be with you too. From now on, as your best friend, as your lover, as your wife—please take care of me."

With tears streaming down our faces, we embraced and kissed.

After a moment, we slid the rings onto each other’s left ring fingers, and embraced once more.

This was after Kanata resisted my kiss, but I, overwhelmed with excitement, forced her into it, holding her head and pressing our lips together.

Kanata had tears in her eyes. The look on her face was one of frustration, of sorrow.
I couldn’t understand why she was crying, or why she wore such an expression.
I was happy to kiss Kanata—it felt good—so why?

And then, I noticed she had stopped moving entirely.

For a while she stayed frozen, so I urged her, pressed her to continue.

"Hey, Kana, how long are we just gonna stay like this? ...Aren’t you going to continue...?"
"...!"

A brief silence.

"Nobu, I like you. I love you."
"!?"

What the hell is this, all of a sudden!?

But before I could say anything, Kanata sealed my lips with a kiss—unlike the clumsy one I had forced earlier, this was an adult’s kiss. Fierce, devouring, exchanging, demanding.

The lack of oxygen and the overwhelming pleasure made my head spin blank, unable to think. The words whispered after our lips parted barely reached my ears. But even through the haze, I felt sure it was something like “I love you.”

From then on, Kanata repeated over and over that he liked me, that he loved me, showering me with compliments. Together with the act itself, those words only heightened my pleasure.

I vaguely wondered if his words were truly genuine.

During the day, things stayed the same as always. But at night, before I could even bring up the “debt,” he would begin. Before every act, he always whispered words of love: telling me I was beautiful, telling me he loved me, making me feel cherished. During the act, he whispered love again and again, and afterward, he would hold me close, whisper sweet nothings, exchange soft kisses, and fall asleep beside me.

As this continued, my mood was lifted higher, and I began to respond to his words of love. At first, it was just an act—something to stoke the passion. But soon, real feelings slipped in, and in the end, I was genuinely expressing my love.

Before I realized it, I had come to crave being whispered love by Kanata. I wanted to be loved more.

At the same time, I felt my own affection for Kanata gradually taking shape. Until then, it was only “I don’t like other men, but Kanata doesn’t bother me.” That faint feeling grew into fondness, and then into love.

By then, even during the day, we started flirting. Kanata truly loved me, and I had come to love Kanata. The decisive moment for me was when I hesitated to hold hands, and he suddenly kissed me—forcefully. It shocked me, but I realized it wasn’t so bad. I felt the man in Kanata, and I felt the woman in myself.

By then, the thought of having once been a man had vanished completely. All that mattered was that I loved Kanata, that I wanted to be his woman, that I wanted him to desire me—nothing else.

We started holding hands when going out, embracing, whispering love. Naturally, my first-person pronoun shifted to “watashi.” Staying “ore” forever would only embarrass Kanata, and besides, by then, thinking of myself as a man felt unnatural.

I was Kanata’s best friend, Kanata’s woman. That was enough—I was fine with that.

Looking back, until Kanata kissed me, I was drowning in lust, repeating acts of mere physical pleasure without love, without meaning. Kanata changed that. He taught me love, turned it into an act filled with affection, and truly loved me from the heart.

So if Kanata would allow it, I wanted to stay here forever, to be with him.
And I wanted to heal his distrust of women.

While I was thinking that, he asked me out for Christmas Eve.

I immediately said yes.

Because going out together on Christmas Eve—that has to be a confession, right?
Come to think of it, even though we’ve said “I love you” countless times, neither of us had ever made a proper confession. Which meant Christmas Eve was definitely going to be it. Ah, I can’t wait.

I had accepted Kanata’s proposal, and now both of us wore rings on our ring fingers.

After the proposal, Kanata no longer had those flashbacks of trauma from his distrust of women. I couldn’t relax completely, but as long as I was by his side, I believed everything would be alright, no matter what happened.

It was now the end of the year, and we were heading back to our hometowns.
Kanata and I had gone to the same elementary school, and our houses were close by. So, we planned to visit both his home and mine.

We first went to Kanata’s house to greet his family.

Ibuki-chan already knew about the circumstances, and Kanata had spoken with his father beforehand as well.
When Kanata’s father—no, my father-in-law now—saw how much I had changed, he was shocked at first. But very quickly, he welcomed me warmly.

Well, of course he’d be surprised. After all, the boy who used to hang around his son as a friend was now a sixteen-year-old girl.

When Kanata explained the situation and mentioned marriage, his father was again taken aback, but he understood, and even rejoiced for us.

Then, half-joking, he lightened the mood by saying he was jealous Kanata had gotten such a young wife. Kanata said it was tough every day, and my father-in-law chuckled, saying, "Every day, huh? That’s youth for you."

My face stayed burning red the entire time.

Ibuki-chan, with a smug look, said, "See? Just like I told you," and then congratulated me with, "Congrats, Nobu-chan."

And then, it was time for my own home.

Since becoming a girl, I hadn’t properly stayed in touch with my family. Well, I had exchanged short messages like "Are you doing okay?" and so on, but I never once mentioned that I’d become female.
So, they still thought of me as their son.

I had told them beforehand that I’d be coming with Kanata today.

The tension was overwhelming, my heart pounding like crazy. I wanted to turn back already. Please help me, Kanata.
Sensing my fear, Kanata pulled me close, whispering, "It’s okay. Leave it to me."

I clung to his arm, feeling reassured. Haah... I love him.

When we rang the doorbell, I had Kanata go first. Better that than some unfamiliar girl suddenly showing up.

"Oh my, Kanata-kun, welcome. Oh, is that your girlfriend? I wish our Nobuchika could be as popular as you. That child still hasn’t come home yet—weren’t you together?"

Honestly, what a thing to say. Sure, Kanata is popular, but still...

"It’s been a while, ma’am. May we come in? We actually have something to talk about."

"Of course. Something to talk about... could it be marriage?"

"Well, let’s talk inside."

She let us into the living room, where we sat side by side. I had brought my TS certificate, ready to present it at any moment. Without it, I doubted they’d believe me.

My mother brought tea and sat down with us.

"Actually, ma’am, there’s something important we need to tell you."

"Oh? What is it?"

"This girl here... she’s Nobuchika. We have the certificate to prove it."

I hurriedly pulled out the certificate and placed it on the table. My mother, still unable to process the situation, showed no reaction.

"Mom, I’m home. I know I look like this now, but... I’m Nobuchika."

"…W-wait a second. Let me process this."

She picked up the TS certificate and checked it carefully.

"I’m sorry, Mom. I should’ve contacted you right away in September, but... it was hard to say. That’s why it took me until now."

At last, my mother seemed to grasp the reality of it and spoke.

"So, you really are Nobuchika?"

"Yes. Just like the certificate says—it’s me."

"…I see. Well, what’s done is done, nothing can change that. But I really wish you’d told me sooner."

"I’m sorry. And, Mom... there’s something important we need to tell you..."

"Nobu, let me be the one to say it."

"Ah, okay."

"Ma’am, I’m dating Nobuchika with marriage in mind. Once your husband comes home, I’ll explain again properly, but for now... please give us your permission to marry."

"Eh? You don’t need my permission for that… oh, wait. Nobuchika is still sixteen, so parental consent is required, isn’t it?"

"Yes, that’s correct."

"I see. And what’s your relationship like right now?"

"I became a girl in September, quit my job, left the dorm, and now I’m living with Kanata."

"You’re not causing trouble for Kanata-kun, are you?"

"Ah, um… a lot, actually. He moved to a new place so I could live with him, and he bought furniture and clothes for me too."

"That’s a huge debt you owe Kanata-kun. Even if you marry him, don’t you dare forget that."

"Eh? Then… does that mean…"

"Well, if it were some other boy, I might not be able to answer right away. But since it’s Kanata-kun, I’m fine with it. Besides, his house is nearby too."

"Thank you, Mom. I’m going to marry Kanata."

"Thank you very much. I promise to treasure Nobuchika."

"Stay and relax for today. Once your father gets back, explain it to him too."

"Understood."

"If Kanata-kun is the one you’re marrying, it doesn’t feel like I’m losing a son. In fact, it feels like I’ve gained a daughter—and that makes me happy."

"Thank you. Hearing that means a lot."

"Nobuchika, come shopping with me tomorrow. I’ll buy you lots of things."

Later, when my father returned, we explained everything again. For the same reason—because it was Kanata—he gave us his approval as well.

And with that, I was officially able to marry Kanata.

We were the same age, best friends, and now also husband and wife. Holding both of those bonds, I truly believed that no matter what difficulties lay ahead, we could overcome them together. Because the bond tying us was stronger than that of most couples.