Chapter 9: My Stance Toward Nobuchika

──Kanata’s View

I was rejected by Nobuchika without much trouble.

No, I get it—the timing wasn’t right, the atmosphere wasn’t right, and marriage isn’t something you just throw out there. But I couldn’t hold it back. What I was supposed to keep buried broke through all too easily.

Nobuchika was too beautiful, too much of my ideal girl, so much that I couldn’t contain myself.

Just from holding hands, I turned into some middle or high schooler with no experience in romance. I barely even registered half of Nobuchika’s teasing, and before I knew it, I lost control—I hugged Nobuchika and confessed.

Somehow I managed to snap back to my senses afterward, passing it off as payback for all the teasing. But even now, just remembering it makes me want to curl up from the embarrassment, and the shock of being rejected still stabs at my chest.

But one thing became clear: Nobuchika’s heart really is that of a man. I was never a romantic option. …Ugh… even now, just thinking about it hurts.

One week ago──

After the rejection, Nobuchika lost consciousness and nearly collapsed, so I caught them and ended up carrying them bridal-style.

As I laid Nobuchika down on the bed, a scent drifted to my nose. A really nice smell. Was this the natural scent of a young girl’s body—Nobuchika’s scent? Thinking back, it was the same fragrance I sometimes caught after Nobuchika passed by.

I wanted to bury my face against them and just breathe it in. That indecent urge bubbled up, but I shook it off.

I laid Nobuchika down, returned to the living room, and sat on the sofa. I thought about what I should do from here—and I came to a conclusion.

I love Nobuchika. I truly love them.

Earlier, in the heat of the moment, I blurted out that I wanted to marry, but I’m not confident about that. I still carry trauma, a distrust of women. Just thinking about “dating” triggers bad reflexes—ugly thoughts, feelings of disgust and rejection. Could I really be in a relationship with Nobuchika like this?

But now I’ve been rejected. That means I don’t have to think about dating or anything anymore. In a way, it’s a relief.

More than ever, I feel like I’d do anything for Nobuchika. Even if they don’t love me back, that’s fine. I’ll accept that honestly.

I’ll hide my feelings and just support them as a best friend. Be their strength. Help make their wishes come true. I don’t care if they never choose me—I just want them to be happy.

But if I could ask for one selfish thing, it’d be this: I want Nobuchika to stay with me for a little while longer. Not a year—even half a year would do. I want to make lots of memories with Nobuchika as a girl.

I’d love to give them a present, but that’s difficult. I’ve told Nobuchika countless times not to worry, but they still think they owe me too much, so they probably wouldn’t accept something tangible.

So instead, I’ll suggest going out together more. Trips, outings—things that are harder to refuse.

I’ve decided on my course of action. But that doesn’t mean the wound of rejection has healed.

Later, when Nobuchika woke up, we went shopping together. I found myself keeping just a little more distance than usual. Only about ten centimeters more, but it felt far. Still, in my wounded state, even that might have been too close.

And for some reason, Nobuchika also seemed like they wanted to keep some distance. Maybe my behavior earlier that morning was to blame.

We wanted to stop by a furniture store near the station, but the parking lot was full. I didn’t want to drag Nobuchika around while I looked for a spot, and I thought it might be a good chance for both of us to reset our moods. So I dropped them off first and went to find parking on my own.

I finally managed to park, though it was on the opposite side of the station from the store—quite a walk.

My heart? Well, of course it doesn’t reset that easily.

And then, by pure chance, I saw it: Nobuchika being cornered by two sleazy guys trying to hit on them.

I rushed over and stepped in.

Most people don’t actually want to get into a real fight. But right then, I was fearless—I’d do anything to protect Nobuchika. Maybe they sensed that, because the guys ran off.

At that moment, even though it was just to protect Nobuchika, I ended up blurting out, “She’s my woman.”

It sounded good—my woman. I wanted to say it more, but who knows what Nobuchika might say to me later if I did.

I managed to get Nobuchika out of the situation, but it must have been quite a shock—he crouched down, eyes vacant.

I crouched down beside him, placed a hand on his shoulder, and called out. After a few times, he finally lifted his face and reached out toward me.

Wanting to reassure him, I took his hand in mine and told him, “It’s all right now.”

Nobuchika stared at our joined hands for a moment, then cradled them against his chest and started rubbing his cheek against mine.

I was bewildered at first, but seeing Nobuchika’s expression brighten again, seeing him poke fun at my “my woman” line—it made me glad that I could help bring back his usual spirit.

Nobuchika stood up. After thanking me, the fear must have returned to him, because tears began to fall.

I couldn’t just leave him there crying—not Nobuchika. I felt an overwhelming need to reassure him, so I pulled him into a gentle embrace.

He clung to me as well, making my heart jolt. My pulse raced—wasn’t it obvious? Wouldn’t he notice what I was feeling?

My heartbreak hadn’t healed, but the cloud of frustration in my chest had lifted. I felt clear again. I thought, maybe I could face Nobuchika the way I always had.

Our distance had closed just a little. And at Nobuchika’s request, I stayed by his side the entire day, never leaving.

And now—here in the present—I’m stuck worrying over whether we could maybe go on a trip during the upcoming three-day weekend.

At this point, I doubt many places will still have openings, but I’ve been carefully looking through all kinds of options.

Right now, Nobuchika’s young enough that we could go to a big amusement park without it feeling weird—that’s one option. But knowing his personality, he’d probably also enjoy something like a hot spring. Somewhere we could laugh and make noise, or somewhere we could relax quietly. …Man, youth really is invincible.

No matter where we go, I’ll match his pace. I’ll go along with whatever he wants. So what I want doesn’t matter.

Where does Nobuchika want to go now, though? …Hard to say. He’s been trying to find a job, but it doesn’t seem to be going well. Maybe instead of noisy fun, it’d be better to let him unwind quietly at a hot spring inn.

I could even frame it as a way to refresh himself from job-hunting stress—that would make it easier to invite him.

Just as I was thinking that, I came across a hot spring inn that looked perfect. The nicer rooms even had private open-air baths attached, and the place gave off a really luxurious impression.

Hot springs, a private bath in the room, two nights and three days—that should be just right. The distance isn’t too far either, so before check-in we could do some sightseeing, eat local specialties, wander around a bit. Coming back would be relaxed too.

All right! I’ll bring it up tonight, and if he’s okay with it, I’ll make the reservation.