Chapter 31: Novelfire Is Owned By Ugly Sheep Headed People

I woke up alone and well rested in a large bed in a much larger room. The room was dark, but sunlight snuck past the sides of the heavy curtains hanging across the large windows. Without direct light, the opulence of the room was muted, the décor silly. The heavy mahogany bed could have been regal, except for the blocky gold bedposts, looking so much like upside down brass soup bowls. And the golden candle holders were mishappen, even crude. Paintings covering the walls had overly extravagant, thick frames, their images lacked perspective and, to my eyes, seemed done by children. Leonardo Da Vinci had yet to be born on this world, I suppose.

After I fully moved in, if I got the chance and if I made this my residence, which I probably wouldn’t – why live up here in the north when I had a perfectly fine castle on the ocean in the south? – I’d have this room redone. Good thing I didn’t marry Serce. He had terrible taste.

After stumbling out of bed, I drew the curtains to the side, allowing sunlight to break into the room across the white and brown marble floor, tied them up. It had to be midmorning, meaning they let me sleep in. Oh, but that was nice! For it meant there were no pressing emergencies. No armies attacking, no monsters beguiling and eating the men, no dragons raining down fire.

Yet it made me pause. They let Reagan sleep in.

Nah. I was too young for people to think I had dementia. Although maybe it meant other things. ‘Don’t wake the goddess up! She burnt the last guy who did that into ash.’ Would that I still had that ability.

I yawned, stretched, did morning things, then emerged from my new room in my new palace in my new capital city of my new empire. Life would be grand, if only there weren’t a small matter of otherworldly horrors about to ruin everyone’s fun.

The second I opened the door, Sorya’s voice rang out, “Your breakfast is cold. We’ve been waiting on you, Cayce, but your bodyguard here wouldn’t let us wake you.” Hands on her hips, her face a blend of youthful pouting and entitled anger. She probably looked cute to older men.

Behind her were some twenty or more girls dressed in their finest, waiting, eyes slightly in front of me and down. Were I an emperor, this would be pleasing. But to me, it was just excessive.

“Good morning, Your Divine Highness,” Mest said, no small amount of happiness on her face. “Did you sleep well?”

“Thanks to you, I did. Ah, good morning everyone.” I nodded at the girls, “Sorya, Alleah. Why are you waiting in my chambers? And who are all these people?”

Sorya fluttered her eyelashes with a blank face.

Alleah said, “We are now your new assistants.”

“Ladies in waiting!” Sorya put her hands on her hips and looked sharply at her sister.

Alleah nodded, “That as well.”

“Uh. I see. Wait. You are my new assistants?” I’d asked the generals for some, as their assistants expedited getting things done. But I was hoping for no-nonsense assistants. Competent people who’d see to my orders without argument. Not the idiot twins. “And who are all these young women?”

“Who better?” Sorya held her hands up. She said to Mest, “Please see Her Highness to her morning meal.”

Mest slightly shifted her stance, widening her legs, arms resting easily down her sides and near her weapons, “I protect Her Majesty.”

I put my hands on my hips, “Stop. I’m not an old woman, I can walk to the table just fine, thank you. Now, who are all these people?”

Alleah approached and, speaking in a lower voice, “Courtiers, Cayce. Becoming ladies in waiting is their avenue to power. These girls are from the noble families. Let them serve upon your leisure.”

“I see. Can you have them wait outside my chambers?” Stepping beside her, “I wanted assistants to carry out my orders. As in, running to various generals, the smithies, and so on, to express my commands. I do not need . . . ladies in waiting.”

Alleah waved her hand at them, the lot of them curtsied and, one by one, left the immediate room. Probably going to congregate in the antechamber.

Holding up a finger, I walked over to the large wooden table, its sides filled with carvings of animals and people going here and there, atop of which sat several covered plates and cups over a white tablecloth embroidered with silver lines, and sat. I then began taking the shiny black and red lacquered coverings off. Thick toast with just a touch of char, boiled eggs, a variety of meats, cheeses, and fruits. Tea, coffee, some kind of juice, no water.

I immediately picked up the coffee and indulged.

“Oh! You see?” Sorya sat down in front of me, “The girls would have done that for you. But you kicked them all out.” She leaned forward, worry in her youthful eyes, “Are you hungover? In a bad mood?”

“I had a good sleep and woke up in a good mood. Listen, I’m fine. Look,” I raised the lid off the breakfast plate with my right hand, all by myself. “See? No problem. Why do I need twenty ladies in waiting?”

She looked at me like I’d asked why we don’t eat ants. “You’re the empress! You require more ladies in waiting that any other person in the empire! And now you’re, what, empress of three lands? That just means more ladies in waiting.”

One of my eyes tried to close involuntarily as I said, “I think, technically, it’s just one land. One, uh, empire. Under me. But that’s not entirely settled yet. I can’t imagine the Bracken brother will just hand over the throne.” Not that it mattered. I now had his armies. Unless his population was much larger than Laemacia, he was no longer much of a threat. Assuming I don’t lose all my new soldiers on the way to the Temple of the Gods.

“You need them,” The older sister walked over, pulling out a chair but standing behind it, “for any reason that may come up. Perhaps you wish to quickly change into a new dress, or desire a chilled beverage, or need someone to convey a message, or-”

“Convey messages! Yes, that’s what I’d requested. But I can’t imagine ladies in waiting would be quick messenger girls.”

“They can just,” Sorya pushed back her hair, “send someone.”

I gave her a head tilt with just the touch of a glare, “Who, which general, appointed you two to be my assistants?”

“Cayce,” Alleah sat down, “you’re the empress now. An empress has ladies in waiting. An empress has courtiers. You are the center of power and you must be both unreachable and accessible. Unreachable to commoners, accessible through your ladies for the nobles.”

“You’re saying they’ll run defense for me?”

Blank stares. Sorya asked, “Defense? Isn’t that what,” she looked over at Mest, “she is for?”

“Interference. Like a wall between me and the outside world.”

“Yes! That’s exactly it. You’re taking to being empress very well.”

I took a deep breath in, held it for a couple seconds, then let it out without expressing the world’s greatest and longest sigh. “Let me guess. Serce and Otholos kept these young women with them at all times?” I tapped my spoon on the royal egg. At least, I was thinking of it as a royal egg. And then I tore off the pieces by hand while Sorya stared and stared, eyes going wider and wider.

“Well, yes. And many manservants. You have women. I don’t recommend the manservants.”

“What if I need some furniture rearranged?”

Sorya’s eyes got all screwed up staring at my cracked egg, and blurted out, “We’ll call for someone!”

“That’s comforting. Sorya, what? Are my eating habits that compelling? Or is the problem that this egg is not made out of gold? I can ask for golden eggs from now on.”

“It’s unseemly that you prepare your own breakfast!” She rose, “I’ll go get just a few of the girls.”

“No. Sit down. I’m not Serce or Otholos, or even my father before them. Except, ah, the other father who is, trust me on this, much, much more terrifying. Never mind. You’re my new assistants?”

“Ladies in waiting,” said Sorya.

Alleah quickly added, “But we also manage the castle. We’re the extension of your will.”

“We’ll presage your needs and ensure your commands are met quickly.”

I set the spoon down with too much force, “Girls! Stop, stop. Just let me eat in peace.”

“You’re kicking us out, too?”

“What? No. Just, just, I was hoping for a quiet morning. Forget it. Alright, official assistants, what’s my day like? When’s my next meeting? Also, did you two eat? There’s plenty here, help yourself.” Looking back at my faithful bodyguard, “Mest, you too, come have some morning tea.”

“Thank you ma’am, I’ve eaten my fill.”

The older sister said, “Us, too.”

“After you finish, we’re bathing and dressing you and,” Sorya smiled like she’d finally worked out all the details for me, “Cayce, sorry, but we’ll need to recall the ladies for that.”

“What? No need. I can manage the chainmail just fine.”

“It’s unseemingly for a lady of your stature to wear that. Also, you just wore it last night! You need a brand new dress to show off around the palace.”

“I’m afraid,” Alleah shook her head from side to side, “you can’t wear it again today.”

“It’s too soon, really. Do you want the nobles to think you a pauper? Also, Cayce,” Sorya leaned forward, taking my right hand in both of hers, “We have to start planning your coronation!”

“Or is it,” said Alleah, “a divination? That seems like the wrong word for ascending the throne as a goddess.”

“Oh my god.” Withdrawing my hand, I spoke more firmly. “No. No. There’s no time. We are leaving in a matter of days. And who cares about a coronation? I don’t!”

Sorya gasped, “Everyone cares about the coronation!”

Nodding in agreement, Alleah said, “It’s true. They are very important to the people. Plus, you now have to put on such a display that convinces the peoples of no less than three state-territories to embrace you.” The girls stood at the same time.

“Not now. I mean, sure go ahead and plan one if you like, but not now. I mean, even if I agree to be coronated . . . ok, never mind.” No, no, no, my mind caught up to events. Better to keep these two busy. “Yes, go ahead and plan it. I’ll get coronated when our armies return. The thing is, I want representatives from all my lands to observe it.” My shoulders slumped a bit, “And no one is here from Nevarrlund.”

They both nodded, with Alleah saying, “Thank you, Cayce. Now, I’m sorry, but about your dress-”

Holding back a scowl, I said, “I’m wearing the chain, no arguments. What’s next on the schedule. I need to speak with my generals, get this war machine in motion. We do not have a lot of time.”

“You cannot wear the armor,” said Alleah.

With just a little too much happiness, the younger one added, “You can’t.”

“Yes I can.”

“My lady, I’m afraid it is not possible this morning,” said Mest, stepping forward, arms behind her back.

Sorya leaned forward, with a sad, sad smile, “It’s being cleaned.”

“Cleaned? I only wore it one night!”

“Well,” Alleah said, clasping her hands, “the gambeson is being cleaned. Also, lengthened. Cayce, the skirt on it was so . . . scant, above the knees, it was scandalous!”

“Ah. Listen, that’s why last night’s chainmail dress was perfect. The skirt’s pleated, so it’ll move as I move. With regular chain, I need my legs free. For the flexibility. I cannot fight well in a longer gambeson. Where’s the chain, then?”

They gave me blank stares. The older sister’s eyes widened first, and then Sorya’s. One could only guess what they were just now realizing.

To my right, Mest shifted her stance, “That metal dress was sent out as well.”

“Damnit. Why?”

Alleah spoke up, “We’ll get you into a proper dress, Cayce. One made out of the finest silk.”

“Fit for an empress!” said Sorya.

Facing away from the girls, “Mest, send someone to have my armor brought back,” I sighed, “and the gambeson. You know, as soon as they’re clean. The gambeson does not need adjusting.”

She nodded at one of her companions, and two of them headed to the exit without comment.

“In the meantime, oh great warrior empress,” said Sorya smiling her best and walking to the exit door, “I shall arrange your ladies in waiting and we shall make you look grand!”

Leaning back to groan at the ceiling, arms wide open, “Betrayed by my assistants and they only just got the job.”

“Cayce,” Alleah slid her hand across the table, giving my left a squeeze, “you are a warrior, it’s true. And you defeated, my gods,” she paused, mouth open. Slowly, she looked to her sister, “I don’t recall anyone in history besting this many armies this quickly. Especially when the odds were,” and back to me, nodding, “very high against you.”

“It’s part of my charm.”

“Nevertheless, you are also an empress. And claiming divinity, no less. You must present as such, as the singular figurehead, with uncanny beauty and grace, if you are seriously going to pull off being a goddess. Also,” she held up her hand to cut me off, “a girl wearing a dress after defeating an army of men sends a very strong signal and not just to your enemies.”

It was like I was slapped and I jolted a bit while holding onto her hand. Customs, traditions, these were important. Presentation, image. To be the empress, I had to cosplay. For real. Dresses. And then I remembered their ages and took another look. Older than Brin and educated here, as nobles. Not so idiot-twins after all. “You’re right. That makes a lot of sense.” Leaning forward, I touched her shoulder with my other hand, “I used to hate dresses. Really hate them. I wore chainmail for three months once to avoid them. Anyways, your suggestion is wise.”

“You poor thing,” said Sorya.

“I was trained all my life to perfectly serve as a concubine and anticipate the emperor’s needs. And then I was to be one of the emperor’s wives. Now I can,” she looked down slightly, “marry whom I choose. And serve you. With my sister.”

Sorya smiled once, rose, and headed for the doors. With no one speaking, the room beyond was full of chattering and giggling that instantly stopped when Sorya opened the doors and gave them instructions.

The twenty of them lined up before my breakfast table and simultaneously curtsied.

Oh, I thought to myself, this will be fun.

***

It was hard to be annoyed by twenty young women treating me like I was their only customer in the spa. After a bath, which I tried and failed to take alone, a red-haired girl massaged my feet and then did a pedicure, another massaged my hands and painted my nails, another my head, but was joined by three girls for the hair, one massaged my shoulders – heavenly, but I worried what she’d do next – and make-up, then they stuck me in a deep red silk dress with the outline of a mountain vista across the fabric in black. Atop it, a short matching jacket.

Light pink lips, light rose blush darkening as it rises to my cheekbones to almost match my lavender eyes, thinly outlined in black. I looked like a young girl hoping make-up would make me older, when all it did was accentuate youth. We try and try to be older when we’re young and then, once youth has vanished, wish for nothing more than youth.

The girls gasped as I strapped on my sword belt. It hung off my hips, the black hilts of the two weapons making me look like an assassin at a large ball. I liked it. The girls did not.

“Alright assistants, take me to my generals!”

“Ladies in waiting.”

“Not assistants,” said the older one.

My hand fell to the hilt on my right hip.

“Ladies,” said Alleah, “proceed!”

***

I entered the war room to four generals and their many, many assistants. Grey-haired Abtin standing slightly aloof and watching the other generals, Sasan the center of attention, pointing at a scroll and talking, young and blond Arsaces, his face brightening upon seeing me, and brown-haired Hutan, nodding attentively, representing the Bracken generals. We’d removed young King Kirken from the command structure. Instead of maps, they were looking at large scrolls laid out across the table, weights holding them open.

Arsaces extended his hand toward me, loudly saying, “Her Divine Empress!” and the entire room faced me and bowed.

Sasan tilted his head, eyebrows raised, “Your Divine Majesty, how enchanting! Forgive me, but, ah, let me just say, what a different presentation outside of battle.”

Abtin smiled his agreement, nodding, “There’s a lady underneath all that armor after all.”

Not quite knowing how to take that, the first thought that came to me expressed itself, “Much, ah, less blood, I imagine.”

“Yes, ah, yes. Exactly my impression. We,” a little too hurriedly, Sasan gestured to the other generals, “were organizing logistics.”

“I’d like say that the nobles were pleased with your first court appearance. Aside from, of course, granting common soldiers access to the ballroom.” He took a deep breath, “Many of the noble families are requesting private audiences with you.”

“That’s lovely. We’ll set up the private audiences as there is time. Perhaps when we return. Ah,” Turning to my left, I pulled lightly on Sorya’s sleeve, “I’d love another coffee.”

Smoothly and quickly, she curtsied, then rushed out of the room.

“It must be challenging to organize such a large military. How did you work out the command structure with the former Bracken generals?”

“Your Divine Highness,” Hutan said, “we’ve agreed to a strict hierarchy with Sasan here in charge of the overall army, and each of us remaining in command of our current regiments. It’ll be considerably easier to do so than to reorganize a new system from the ground up.”

And if Brundle were here, I decided, he’d be in charge of it all. “That sounds excellent.”

“Yet, it is taking time regardless,” said Sasan. “Arranging this many soldiers, these different armies, is a logistical nightmare. We now have three different baggage trains to sort out somehow, food stores to manage, livestock all over the place. And,” he tilted his head to drive his point home, “we are having some difficulties getting the disparate peoples to get along. Partly because our lands use differing coinage. Not insurmountable, but some issues.”

“Ah. I guess that’s to be expected. We’re likely going to have to bring the baggage trains, much as I don’t want to. We’ll change the coinage later.” Picturing my face on their money was a touch grotesque. What kind of person actually wants their likeness on currency? Narcissists. Filthy, pond scum, ruining everything, narcissists. Oh, if I enjoyed this, I was going to be upset with myself.

“Pardon me, you don’t want to bring the baggage trains?”

“I misspoke somewhat. With my army in Nevarrelund, we eliminated the wagons. For faster speed. But now we don’t have the time.” I sighed inwardly, trying to ignore the irony here.

With his finger under his chin, and looking at the scrolls, Sassan nodded, “That would be a tremendous undertaking, and I don’t believe we have enough pack animals.”

“I am, I must say, concerned about the soldier’s families accompanying us. Please understand, we likely won’t be warring with armies of men. We may not be able to control the battlefield, nor our advancement, as we would like to.”

Sasan looked up from the scrolls. “If not men, then who? What? Something akin to dryads with their unicorns, but thousands of them?”

“Oh, god, I hope not. I don’t know. Possibly legions of those harpies and the taller, two-legged beasts you did not encounter. They were resistant to normal weapons. Only fire hurt them. So, gentlemen, in addition to all your regular logistics, I apologize, but we also need methods to use fire.” I stared at each one of them in turn. I really hoped we wouldn’t need silver weapons. None of the armies here had them, since silver wasn’t strong enough to attack something with. Perhaps as daggers. “I should really meet with the smithies.”

“Personally?” Sasan tapped the table, “It’s a simple matter. We’ll have cannisters of oil brought with some of the archer regiments.”

“And,” said Hutan, “we’ll have to guard our baggage train more carefully. Perhaps even with a full army.”

“Ok, this is a bit of a mess, but is it possible to give some of these soldiers houses? Places for their families to live. I wonder if we can use the harems, actually. They were going to be given to noble families to have access to the palace, but perhaps that can wait until after the war.”

A gasp of breath from Alleah behind me.

“With respect, Your Majesty,” Abtin said, “the harems themselves won’t be enough. However-”

The door burst open, a young man, breathing heavily, shouted, “An army approaches the city!” He hurried up to Sasan, bowed, handing him a message.

I turned to the Hutan, “Just how many armies did you field?”

“Only the two. It cannot be one of ours, ma’am.”

Sasan opened it, eyes moving across the words, folded it, and set the letter on the table. “Your Highness, Mazdak has assumed field command and is organizing the formations. Our troops number more than one hundred thousand outside the city gates. He’s preparing formations even now.”

“What? Goddamn it. Who’s attacking us?” I sure hoped the right question wasn’t, ‘What’s attacking us.’ Though if the Others had sent an army, that would only reinforce my message to these people.

“Your Majesty,” the messenger lowered his eyes and bowed deeply enough to touch his toes, “forgive me, I do not know.”

Another young man ran in, holding a larger piece of paper in both hands, proffered to Sasan again with a bow, “Their emblem, their emblem!”

Looking puzzled, he turned the image to me.

“Oh! Ready a horse!” Wheeling about, the red dress lifting in the air, I stopped at the door and looked back, “This is good news. This is very good!” Then I raced out of the room, assistants falling behind, and soldiers running to catch up.

The general called out behind me, “Are you going to parley with them?”

***

Dirt kicking up as I pushed my charger through the city streets. From behind, criers yelled, “Make way for the empress! Make way!” and I rode at desperate speeds through the streets, veering around elderly merchants, children at times, leaping over a bunch of spilled potatoes on the road, cart overturned uphill of my path, with a trail of soldiers and guards following as best they could.

Sweat permeated the air. Fire smoke, the smell of meat roasting over flames. Then pig shit. Here and there, sweet human urine. The worse smells of rotting oil every other street, the wrong scent of latrines and then gone, through the gates, fresh air hits immediately. White clouds drifting across the deep blue sky of summer, I rode and rode to where the armies were facing off.

Galloping and looking ahead, I soon passed between rows and rows of spear phalanx, skirmishers and peltasts, with archers behind them, sweat and fear in the breeze, and off to the very sides, cavalry. War rhinos, such as we had left, to the far right, in front of the city walls, but I didn’t so much as glance at them.

A phalanx formation fell behind me as I passed the men. Another phalanx, and another, another. It barely registered that a flag bearer pushed his mount beyond its endurance to keep up, just behind me. More phalanx formations and I was through, riding across the field and toward the enemy army.

Parley flags had been planted in the ground ahead, tents being erected, with men and horses standing at an uncomfortable distance from each other. I could see Mazdak leading his horse to speak with them.

I rode like the wind, right into the parley area, leaping off before the horse slowed, hitting the ground in a roll, jumping into a run and straight up to my big man, in his full plate armor, helmet in his hands, eyes wide and jaw fully dropped, and crashed into his arms, wrapping tightly around his neck, tears streaming down my eyes, “Morry.”

He squeezed against my chain and I was jealous of the metal between us.

We hugged. Breeze above, the light around us dimming as a cloud stole our sunshine, and he squeezed, lifted me off the ground, my legs bent into the air, setting me down, his brown eyes fully holding my own, and he held my arms with both of his, speaking softly, “Princess.”

Light bathed us as the cloud moved on, wind blowing over the grass, its green blades bending away from the blue sky above, puffy little white clouds darkening, merging, the wind up there faster, stronger, growing.

Morry stood up, giving my shoulders a last squeeze, “Princess, it is good to see you.”

“Oh, but I missed you! I am glad to see you, too.” After a time, someone ahemmed, and I looked sideways, becoming a little embarrassed, I gasped, “Brundle! Oh!” I raced over, embracing the man.

He stumbled back, arms wide and then, with a pause, patted my back once, twice, then accepted the hug awkwardly, still patting my back.

Letting go, I said, “It is very good to see you, too! How fairs our lands?”

All smiles, he nodded, “Well, they’re doing well. Perhaps after this parley we can discuss everything that has happened over the past month. Isn’t this the Laemacian army at your back?”

“Oh!” I looked back, seeing Mazdak standing ahead of a group of soldiers, looking confused and worried. To Brundle, “It’s ok, it’s good. They are, ah, with me. With me, yes. That’s General Mazdak. He really wants to meet you!”

“Princess?” Looking up and down my body, eyes lingering on my hips, then waist, jumping up to my eyes, Morry crossed his arms, “You didn’t choose that dress yourself. Brin’s not going to be happy if you have new ladies in waiting.”

“Brin is with you??? Where?!?”

“Back with the baggage train. It’s fully guarded and she’s safe. Now, why is the Laemacian army waiting on you?”

“It turns out I’m greedy. One kingdom wasn’t enough, so I added two empires.” I turned around, “General Mazdak, come up and meet Duke Morrentz and General Brundle!”

“You’ve taken Laemacia,” Morry put his hands on his hips, looking across the fields.

Brundle leaned toward me, “Are you fully in control of Laemacia, Your Highness?”

Mazdak, walking up to us, said, “Her Divine Majesty is empress of the Laemacian and Bracken Empires now. And, I assume, Nevarrelund. I’m Mazdak, serving at Her Majesty’s pleasure.” It was the first time I’d noticed he was unshaven, and his dark stubble matched his unruly, dark black hair. He wasn’t as big as Morry, nor as refined as Brundle. Yet his shoulders were wide, his muscles strong, and he moved with the easy grace of a competent warrior.

It was strange watching Morry’s face tilt towards grim, Brundle with a guarded smile, while the men introduced themselves, and reminded me that I didn’t really know Mazdak. I’d only just met the man a few days prior. Yet I felt calm and at peace now reuniting with my old friends.

“Brundle,” I broke into their discussion, “I’m going to need updates on everything. And you’ll need to set up a temporary camp around the castle. I don’t believe the city has any room. Before you arrived, our army totaled some hundred and sixty thousand men. How many have you brought?”

“Just sixty thousand, ma’am. We came to force the usurper to release you. However, we have taken some losses on the journey here.”

“Losses?”

Morry broke in, “Beasts. Like nothing I’d seen before. They had the bodies of horses, but the torsos of men. And they were very skilled archers.”

“Those sound like centaurs. That is disturbing.”

“Centaurs? You know of these creatures?”

“Out of mythology, yes. How did you defeat them?”

“The infantry formed shield walls and our armored cavalry chased them away. Princess, how can a creature out of mythology be here?” Even without his scar, the big man looked menacing.

“I fear they’ve been summoned from the Temple of the Gods.”

“We should have killed all the nuns.”

“Not them, I think. I’ll explain later, but please tell me how you knew that Serce had captured me. He had me holed up in his harem. If Laemacia wasn’t attacked, he’d probably have forced marriage on me.”

Morry said, “When you didn’t return, I led search parties. We found stragglers of recent battles and questioned them. Eventually, we realized Serce had somehow taken you here.” He looked straight into Mazdak’s eyes, “Sixty thousand of our men is enough to force even Laemacia to her knees.”

“Of that, I have no doubt.” Mazdak smiled, half turning toward me, “With the empress here, thirty thousand would be enough.”

“I doubt she requires so many.” The big man gave me a glance that said he wanted the full story later. The last he saw me, I was as powerful as the Sun itself and had no need of armies.

I smiled with all the happiness in my heart, “Mazdak, were can we have them set up? Can you help Brundle with that? And stand our armies down. Also, Brundle’s in charge. Wait, let’s make this official. Brundle, ah, come here.”

Everyone rearranged themselves, so that the general was facing me. We stood between two armies at the ready. Sarissae phalanx, spears pointing at the heavens, infantry shuffling their feet, horses stamping theirs and, on the other side, shorter spear phalanx staring across the field, their larger shields at rest.

“General Brundle, no need to kneel.” I put my right hand on his shoulder, saying, “I declare you to be my General of the Armies, with the rank of duke.”

“My . . . my lady.” He bowed low and held it. “It is entirely my pleasure to be of and in your service.”

“Excellent. I’ll explain it to the rest of my generals.” I looked at Morry, “There are so many! Like, you have no idea. Five generals for each army I conquered. Fifteen sitting generals right now! And now Brundle and you and my army, and we don’t even have that many!”

“Perhaps you could give Rand the rank of general?” Morry held his hands open.

“Is he with you? That’s great! Yes, we’ll raise his rank, too. Gentlemen! Let’s get this military organized. And we’re having another party! Because I am a wasteful, wasteful empress.” I linked my arm inside Morry’s, taking him on a walk back to my new city, “I cannot wait to see Brin!”

“Empress,” said the big man. “Has a nice ring to it, Princess. A nice ring indeed.”