Chapter 42: A Mother’s Love

I once heard that Carol had lived for many years. But that was only natural—she was an elf, and long lifespans were simply part of her race.

Humans, of course, live far shorter lives. Even reaching seventy would be considered quite rare here in Swordia. So when I heard that the current "Spear King" was even older than that, I felt a quiet mix of fear and faint relief.

If age had weakened their body, it might give me an advantage in the "King’s War."

"The 'Spear King' has been alive for over five hundred years."

That assumption was shattered in an instant.

"I’ve heard that the Spear King first appeared during the era of this country’s first Sword King. In truth, they may have existed even earlier, but that was when they first revealed themselves publicly."

I couldn’t respond to her revelation. There was no room to interrupt. I didn’t want to believe it—but I did.

Probably because, on some instinctive level, I had already grasped Shion’s role in all of this.

"I don’t know what kind of exchange they had with the first Sword King. The only ones who would remember are likely the Spear King—and the Dragon King, who still reigns over the Draconia Dragon Kingdom. The system created alongside the kings of each nation to prevent reckless wars—that is the 'King’s War.'"

Hearing the truth behind something I had always taken for granted brought another question to mind. If the Spear King had lived for five hundred years, were they an elf—or some other long-lived race?

Please, let that be the case.

That hope was easily crushed.

"The Spear King continues to live by taking over the bodies of others. The current body is the fourth. The next will be the fifth. And Shion has been chosen as that fifth."

"Th-then… Shion…"

"She doesn’t know. It was decided that Shion would be the next Spear King, and that fact was disclosed to the candidates and the royal guard within the special district. I was able to learn it because my role placed me among them."

She lowered her head, staring into the cloudy bathwater. I couldn’t see her expression, but I imagined it wasn’t much different from mine—pale and shaken.

"That king will undoubtedly begin moving to reclaim Shion. No… they may already have."

I remembered the request for a King’s War from the Yaranri Kingdom. And the condition for defeat—the return of Shion. Ciel’s prediction had been correct. That was precisely what made it so terrifying.

To desire a single person to such an obsessive degree.

Even knowing I couldn’t save her, I couldn’t help but feel sympathy for Shion—targeted by someone like that.

"The Spear King takes over others’ bodies, suppresses their consciousness, and acts as they please. Life in the Basarnica Theocracy was terrible, but the Yaranri Kingdom is no better. The former is a world of survival of the fittest, with no regard for the weak. The latter is like a nation of controlled puppets, where everything is dictated."

People in this country laugh often. That, she said, was a wonderful thing.

I remembered how, over these past few days, everything she saw seemed precious to her—something she truly cherished.

And among those memories, there was one girl who had been smiling.

Thinking of her, a faint smile touched Ciel’s usually expressionless lips.

But it quickly faded in the face of reality.

"Shion changed herself to become worthy of the Spear King. She learned proper etiquette. More than anything, she endured wounds no ordinary girl could bear… and lived her life without ever knowing love."

Even though she had likely suffered just as much, she spoke as if Shion’s pain far outweighed her own. Tears quietly streamed from her otherwise emotionless eyes, falling into the bathwater and rippling before disappearing.

"Lord Toma, I am a sinner. For my own sake, I twisted that child’s heart and showed her hope that never truly existed. I have no right to live peacefully in this country—and I cannot forgive myself."

When she said she didn’t care what happened to her, I found myself unable to respond. Any careless words would only insult her resolve—and diminish her pain.

"Even so, that child—Shion—is different. She loved her mother sincerely, devoted her life for her sake, and worked hard enough to be recognized by anyone. I cannot accept her life being taken over by the Spear King, her soul cast into darkness where no one can ever reach it."

I couldn’t accept that either.

But her conviction far surpassed mine.

It felt like the love of a parent for their child.

"I don’t care what happens to me. I truly don’t—even if I die. If Shion learns the truth, she will surely want to kill me. I would accept her blade. And if that would hurt her, I would even take my own life."

Every word she spoke carried absolute sincerity. No one could stop her.

"Shion is precious to me. I’ve deceived her for five years, twisted her image of her mother, and mocked her love for her family… but even so, she’s precious to me."

Each time she said Shion’s name, her eyes filled with affection. Only then did her expression soften. When she spoke that name, she truly looked like a mother.

"Ciel… why do you go this far?"

"...It was the first time. The first time someone ever loved me. Even if it was built on lies upon lies… that child loved me."

From what she had told me about the Basarnica Theocracy, I could imagine what her life must have been like as someone born weak.

But that was only imagination. I could never truly understand even a fraction of what she had endured.

How difficult it must have been for her to receive love.

How much it must have meant.

"I was born a slave and lived as a slave. I wasn’t even given a name. I drifted from place to place, living only to survive. I didn’t know anything else—and I didn’t try to. At first, I even thought this situation was an easy job. I was educated so I could fully become Ciel… and for the first time, I felt like I had become human."

It was a confession of sin.

She spoke endlessly of why she couldn’t forgive herself—things she had never told anyone, burdens she had carried alone all this time.

"I deceived Shion. I mocked her. I even thought she was foolish for calling me 'Mother' without knowing the truth. Every day, she came back covered in wounds… and still smiled, happy just to eat with me. On the rare days we had off, we spent the whole day together, talking about nothing… and in the end, we slept in the same bed."

"..."

"It was the first time I ever fell asleep in someone’s arms. The first time I knew warmth. I realized how hard it must have been for such a small child to keep trying so hard… I knew what it meant to have no one to rely on, and yet I never even tried to imagine it. I just kept accepting her love in place of the real Ciel."

Her tears continued to fall silently into the bathwater. She didn’t even try to wipe them away.

All she could do was speak of her own foolishness.

There was nothing I could do for her.

"There was a time when Shion fell ill. I stayed by her side and cared for her. If she died, my role would end, and I would be sent back to being a slave… back to that lowest existence with no place to sleep. I didn’t want that. So I tried to keep her alive—for my own sake."

And yet, as she said that, what was she feeling now?

Anger at herself?

Or concern for Shion?

Probably both.

"And yet, Shion worried about me. She said, 'You’ll catch my fever, so stay away, Mother'… even while suffering, she worried about me—someone like me!"

"..."

"Even in her sleep, she held my hand and called me 'Mother.' She must have been lonely… anxious about the future… believing she had to handle everything alone. She shouldn’t have had the strength to worry about anyone else—and yet she did. That was the first time anyone had ever worried about me. For the first time, I felt like I had become human."

I finally understood.

That something I had always taken for granted—living normally, being loved—was something truly irreplaceable.

"I don’t matter. Someone like me, who deceived her, deserves to die miserably. I wouldn’t even mind returning to slavery—something I hated above all else. Even if I fell into hell and burned for eternity, I wouldn’t care. Whatever happens to me from now on would only be natural. If anything, I hate myself enough to want to kill myself."

I could feel her resolve.

She truly loved Shion—like a real mother.

Even if she herself would never admit it.

"But I cannot accept Shion being denied happiness. She finally escaped that nightmare of a country. She escaped the monster known as the Spear King. Now, she can finally live her own life."

I remembered something Shion had once said—that Ciel had supported her coming to Swordia, and told her to leave her behind.

And yet, Shion had forcibly brought her along anyway.

Now I understood.

She had intended to free Shion from the chain that was herself.

Even knowing how it would end, she still chose that path.

"This isn’t flattery—Swordia is truly a wonderful country. It’s full of life. Weakness isn’t treated as a crime. Everyone holds hope for tomorrow—and believes that hope will continue."

"That’s thanks to the ministers’ long years of effort."

"Perhaps. But more than that, I think it’s because they have a king who will never abandon them. During that King’s War, I thought… that perhaps I could entrust Shion to you. And now, I believe that gamble has paid off."

"...I’m not that remarkable."

"Even so. Even so, I want to entrust her to you. I have nothing to offer in return. I know this is despicable—appealing only to your kindness without offering anything in exchange—but I cannot help myself."

She stepped out of the bath and knelt on the floor, pressing her head down in supplication.

She understood my nature—and admitted she was using it.

But she didn’t hesitate.

Because she believed it was the only way to save Shion.

"Lord Toma… please. Please save Shion. Let her live in this country, where she can be herself. Protect her."

The water pooling beneath her face was surely not just bathwater.

I couldn’t fully grasp the depth of her helplessness.

But even so—

I didn’t want to see her tears.

And I didn’t want to see Shion’s smile disappear.