Episode 3: An International Conference is Being Held. The Reason? "Because Stella-sama Proposed for It."

Episode 3: An International Conference is Being Held. The Reason? "Because Stella-sama Proposed for It."

That day, the fate of the world took a sudden turn due to a single email.

It all began from a cheap, 40-year-old apartment building in Tokyo.

Stella, a beautiful girl in a baggy T-shirt and sweatpants—but inside, a 38-year-old corporate slave, Tachibana Kentaro—was lying on the tatami mat, munching on discounted chikuwa.

"...Haa."

Stella sighed deeply, fiddling with her smartphone.

"Every time I go to the higher level dungeon, I have to fill out an individual application form. It's seriously inefficient. Go to the counter, hand in handwritten documents, take a numbered ticket, wait for confirmation. It's a complete return of the crappy approval process from my previous job."

Any more wasted effort is an enemy of protecting one's fixed livelihood.

In other words, it's an enemy of leaving work on time.

Stella opened the Explorer's Bureau's official website and displayed the [General Inquiry Form] at the bottom.

"I'll just send a request for all permits in bulk. These kinds of things usually go through if you write a polite, templated message."

Then, she quickly drafted a rigid, emotionless business email, the kind she'd typed thousands of times at her previous job at a notoriously exploitative IT company.

Subject: [Application] Regarding the simplification of entry permits for dungeon exploration

Thank you for your continued support.

This is Stella.

Currently, individual applications are required each time, which is too time-consuming from an operational efficiency standpoint.

If possible, we would appreciate it if you would consider switching to a universal permit across all levels.

We apologize for the inconvenience, and we humbly request for your cooperation.

"Okay. The proposal has been submitted for approval."

Stella put down her smartphone.

"Now, let's eat some chikuwa."

She thought she had sent a perfectly ordinary business message.

However, there was one fatal flaw—

Although the recipient was a general customer service desk, the moment the system detected the world's most important account, 'Stella' the highest level alert of the Explorer Management Bureau blared, and the email was slammed directly onto the director's desk.

"It's over..."

The Japan Explorer Management Bureau, secret underground conference room.

The top executives' faces instantly turned ashen as they faced Stella's email displayed on the giant screen.

"Humanity is doomed!!"

"From Stella-sama herself..."

"The [Final Declaration] has arrived!!"

A scream echoed through the conference room.

The director pointed to the screen with a trembling finger.

"Look! The opening line is 'Thank you for your continued support!'"

"Does that... does it have some profound meaning...?!"

"It's a declaration of sovereignty from the perspective of an absolute god, 'I already control everything on Earth!'"

"No, that can't be...!"

Another executive slammed his fist on the table.

"The problem is here! 'Too time-consuming from an operational efficiency standpoint'...!"

"In other words?"

"She said 'If you make me do any more unnecessary work, I will dispose of humanity itself as a burden!'"

"What?!... Is this the god of rationality?!"

"And furthermore, 'a universal permit across all levels'!"

"The right to pass through all dungeons... No, it can't be...!"

"A demand for the transfer of sovereignty over all dungeons on Earth!!"

The air in the conference room froze.

Finally, the director read it aloud in a voice that sounded like he was about to cry.

"And the final blow is... 'We humbly request your cooperation.'"

"Don't tell me..."

"It means, 'You know what will happen if you refuse, right?'"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!"

The executives all clutched their heads in unison.

In the midst of this vortex of madness, there was only one person.

There was a man who couldn't completely abandon his sanity.

This is Assistant Yamashiro, a middle manager in the administrative bureau who suffers from stomach aches.

Yamashiro cautiously raised his hand, clutching his aching stomach.

"Um... excuse me, Director..."

"What is it, Yamashiro! Don't interfere with deciphering the divine oracle!"

"Judging from the text, this is... just a very polite business email, isn't it?"

"....."

"....."

The conference room fell silent.

The next moment, the Director rose to his feet, his face contorted in rage.

"You heretic!!!"

"Hieek!"

"You're going to treat the transcendent being who annihilated that disaster-class boss with a single blow while looking at a sale flyer as just an ordinary person?!"

"N-no, that's not what I meant..."

"Don't give up thinking! There's always a profound meaning beyond human scientific capabilities in the divine messages!"

"I'm so sorry!"

Yamashiro instinctively bowed his head.

He had absolutely no idea why he was being reprimanded.

But, middle management in Japanese organizations is generally built on that kind of irrationality.

"Yamashiro!"

"Y-Yes!"

"Immediately issue an urgent notice to the United Nations! We're convening the world's highest emergency conference!"

"The world...? For just issuing permit...?"

"Stella-sama said 'all levels'! This isn't just a Japanese problem!"

"...May I take some stomach medicine before the meeting?"

"Denied! Do it after the meeting!"

"Yes..."

That was the moment a new crater was pierced into Assistant Yamashiro's stomach lining.

The situation wasn't limited to panic within Japan.

The "World's Highest Emergency Conference," convened under UN leadership, brought together heads of state from major nations and SS-rank explorers, humanity's most powerful fighting force.

A giant screen displayed a simulation of humanity's survival rate in the event of conflict with Stella.

The result was—

[Error: Unmeasurable]

[Estimated Survival Rate: Calculation Impossible]

[Note: The definition of combat itself is invalid]

Silence gripped the room.

"The definition of combat itself is invalid...?"

"She's the one who reduced that disaster-class entity to dust with a single blow."

"If she considers humanity 'inefficient,' the very concept of a United Nations itself will disappear."

"Then how should we respond...!"

At that moment,

A man invited as a special witness from the Japanese side stood on the stage with a determined expression.

A former A-rank streamer.

The current channel name is: [Official Apology] Stella-sama's Royal Guard - Captain.

That's Ryuji.

"I have seen her divine power with my own eyes!"

Ryuji's eyes gleamed with excitement, and he roared in a trembling voice.

"Even in the face of a disaster-class boss that would make humanity despair, Stella-sama remained completely unfazed, and with her smartphone in hand, she said this!"

The representatives from each country gasped in unison.

"—'The last-minute case, processing now.' like that."

"Last-minute... Anken...!?"

"Is that an ancient Norse language!?"

"Is it a forbidden conceptual spell...!?"

Ryuji shook his head violently.

"I don't know!"

"You don't know!?"

"It's a high-level language that we ordinary human cannot understand even a millimeter of! But I understand with my soul that we must not defy it!"

Ryuji's brain was beautifully consumed by the existence of Stella.

"Anyone who deviates from that being's schedule is instantly erased as a bug in the world!"

A murmur spread through the venue.

"A bug in the world..."

"Erased..."

"So, if we humans disrupt her sacred sanctuary of 'Fixed Time'..."

"We'll be dealt with immediately...!"

It was the moment when the worst possible misinterpretation became a shared understanding worldwide.

From this point on, the international conference accelerated into madness at the speed of light.

[World's Highest Emergency Conference]

"Incurring her displeasure will plunge the world into a task with an uncertain future!"

↓

[Stella's Six-Tatami Room]

"Isn't the hole in this chikuwa a little small?"

↓

[World's Highest Emergency Conference]

"Her definition of 'operational efficiency' must mean optimizing humanity's living space!"

↓

[Stella's Six-Tatami Room]

"This is hard to fill with mayonnaise. The nozzle design is bad. The production team didn't consider the user experience in the field."

↓

[World's Highest Emergency Conference]

"We must not threaten her absolute principle of 'Fixed Time,' even at the cost of our lives!"

↓

[Stella's Six-Tatami Room]

"Oh, the chikuwa mayo is delicious. It also helps keep fixed costs down, so this is something we'll continue."

↓

[World's Highest Emergency Conference]

"Full approval!!"

"Issue the first-ever globally valid, all-dungeon universal permit in human history immediately!"

"We will also grant her the highest-ranking diplomatic privileges equivalent to those of a head of state!"

"Reply to her smartphone immediately, as the consensus of the world!!"

Ping!

A solemn notification arrived on Stella's smartphone as she was lounging around on the tatami mat in her apartment.

It was an extremely humble reply from the Explorer Management Bureau.

Dear Stella-sama,

Thank you very much for your continued and invaluable efforts in ensuring the survival of humanity and managing the world's tasks.

Regarding your application for the "All-Level Universal Permit" we have immediately approved it as a unanimous decision of the World Government and the Explorer's Bureau.

You can use the attached issuance code to access the worldwide dungeon permanent free pass.

We sincerely ask for your continued support in ensuring the survival of humanity.

"Oh, that was quick approval. See, you can do it if you try."

Stella nodded admiringly.

"I wish my previous company had followed suit. It took four stamps and two weeks just to buy one development computer."

She put down her smartphone with a satisfied look.

Then she returned to the task of stuffing mayonnaise into the holes of the chikuwa.

"...Actually, it's better to cover one end of the hole with a finger before injecting. The filling rate improves by 20%. Process improvement!"

Completely unaware of the fear trembling within the World Government.

Stella gulped down some cheap happoshu.

At that moment, a massive online comedy show had already erupted.

[Breaking News] World Government Fully Approves Stella-sama's [Proposal]. To be issued the first-ever all-dungeon free pass in human history.

[Analysis] The countdown to the end of humanity, starting with "Thank you for your continued support," is terrifying

[Congratulations] Earth surrenders completely with just one email

[Sad News] Assistant Yamashiro looks like he's about to throw up at the press conference

[Urgent Request] Where to send stomach medicine super chats to Assistant Yamashiro

[Discussion] About the high-level energy charging work performed by Stella-sama, commonly known as Chikuwa Mayo

[The On-Time Departure Cult] The World Government officially becomes a subcontractor

Meanwhile...

Assistant Yamashiro stood before the microphone in the press conference hall, his face deathly pale, bathed in a storm of flashes from thousands of cameras.

"Um... Regarding this matter, the World Government and the Explorer Management Bureaus of each country have unanimously decided to respect Stella-sama's wishes to the fullest extent and have made a swift decision..."

Immediately, a reporter in the front row raised their hand.

"Assistant Yamashiro! Is the [Proposal] that Stella-sama issued truly an absolute command from an ancient god that will determine the future of humanity?!"

"No, well... at least in terms of wording, it's very much like a typical business email for an application..."

At that moment, the director beside him grabbed Yamashiro's shoulder.

"Yamashiro."

"Yes..."

"Don't reveal unnecessary truths. It will throw the world into chaos."

"....Director, it already is."

Yamashiro's eyes drifted into a distant, vacant stare.

"The world has been in chaos for a long time now, Director."

And then, silently, he pleaded with the strongest, most beautiful girl he had yet to meet.

(Stella-sama... Please, from now on, just keep it to written communication like this time. Please, please spare me from being summoned in person. My stomach will physically disappear...)

Meanwhile...

In the six-tatami-mat room of her cheap apartment, Stella was gazing at a chikuwa when she suddenly muttered to herself.

"Ah... I'll just use the inquiry form again next time. Going to the counter is a hassle, and face-to-face interactions that leave no evidence are really scary."

The World and Stella.

That day, for the first time, they both arrived at the same conclusion.

"Leave the communication in writing."

[End of Chapter 3]

Author Note:

Thank you for reading this far!

A simple application email has become a world-shaking approval process.

I want to send Assistant Yamashiro some stomach medicine.

The next chapter will be the final one.

I would be happy if you would stay with me until the end!