Chapter 5: Equal

10 Years Old Arc: A Girl from an Inferior Race

Equal

While exploring Bernstein's villa, I sensed someone in the game room.

Peeking quietly from the entrance, I saw Maximilian sitting with his knees hugged to his chest, just like during the day, beneath the window where moonlight streamed in, without even turning on the lights.

Unlike when we first met, his head was facing forward, not pressed against his knees.

I sat down next to him as if it was the most common thing.

"Sitting next to me without permission and looking at the food with such longing, you're quite audacious, despite your appearance."

"...Well... that's the only..... redeeming quality.... I have."

Yes, even after being subjected to so many words of denial from the boys at school, I still clings to this Naraka world.

.....

I spent the time doing nothing, just like during the day.

A silence enveloped the surroundings, devoid of even the sounds of insects and birds.

"Hey, can I touch your ears and tail?"

".... Yes.... you can.... But please.... be gentle."

Maximilian asked hesitantly, and I tilted my head to the side, offering my ears.

After receiving my permission, Maximilian reached out his fingers to my animal ears and gently stroked the outside of them from the tip to the base.

After repeating this several times, he then touched the inside of my ears with his thumb, and with his other four fingers, touched the outside of my ears, sliding his fingers along while gently pinching them.

While repeating this motion, he reached out his other hand to my tail and slid his fingers along it as if combing it.

"Ouch!"

"Oh, sorry!"

His fingers were stroking my ears with too much force, and I felt pain in my animal ears. He simply apologized lightly and loosened his grip, but his hands didn't stop.

He spent about an hour playing with my animal ears and tail, using various techniques and methods.

"Thank you. Your animal ears and tail feel nice to touch."

"Is that so....? Thank you.... I guess?"

He thanked me, but I replied feeling somewhat conflicted.

He lingered for a while, then leaned back against the wall, turned forward, and gazed into space.

"... My mother died."

I couldn't answer.

Having never experienced the death of a mother in either my past or present life, I couldn't find the words to say.

"And that's... the reason I've become withdrawn... it's strange, isn't it? I'm a man. I'm a direct descendant of the prestigious Bernstein family. Before you came, I couldn't even move a finger to get out of my room."

No. It's not strange. 

It's not unusual to be heartbroken after your mother's death.

"I should be studying so much. I should be training my body more. I should be a strong man. I have to pull myself together. I have to work hard."

You don't need to push yourself so hard.

"But! My body's stiff and I can't move!! I'm a descendant of Friedrich von Bernstein, the great hero who defeated a million-strong Allied army at the Battle of Mornu and saved the great homeland of Faterland!!"

Titles don't matter when you've lost someone important.

"I'm!! I'm a bigger failure than Hans from 'On the Tracks'!! Someone like me is worthless!! I should just disappe—!"

I hugged Maximilian with all my might.

He seemed surprised and didn't say anything more.

"It must have been... so hard... It must have been.... painful... But even so.... you were desperately.... trying to endure it.... weren't you?"

I stroked his back. As if to melt his body, which had frozen like ice.

..... Just like Al had done for me.

"But you don't.... have to try.... so hard anymore..... Look.... there's only... one animal here.... So.... you can cry... to your heart content?"

"Ughh... Ahhhhhhh!!!"

I continued to hold him, hoping that I could share even one-hundredth of his pain.

His sadness flowed from our bodies touching, and tears naturally began to flow in my own.

Even after Maximilian's cries faded, he did not loosen his grip on me.

I did not let go of him either.

We held each other like that until dawn.

★

Then we each returned to our rooms.

Maximilian looked sleepy, but his steps were strong.

When I got to my room, I fell asleep without even noticing the sun rising.

After all, I'd been up all night.

I vaguely opened my eyes, shaken by the sensation of being moved, to find Maximilian shaking my shoulder right beside my bed.

My stomach rumbled, and he, looking exasperated but also pleased, pulled my hand tightly and led me to the dining room.

There, Maximilian barely ate his meal, bombarding me with questions as if he'd forgotten about his father, Mr. Rüdiger.

Questions such as where do I live? What's my favorite food? What other books do I read?

As I fumbled for words, Mr. Rüdiger offered a helping hand, saying, "Ask her slowly."

After answering haltingly, I thought it would be good manners to return the question he had asked me, so I asked back.

"Maximilian, where is your favorite place?"

Maximilian suddenly became displeased.

"Max."

"Eh?"

"I bet it's hard to say my name, isn't it? You can call me Max from now on.... And while I'm at it, you shouldn't refer to yourself as 'animal' anymore."

"Okay... Thank you... Max."

I was so happy that he saw me as an individual that a smile I'd forgotten for a while naturally spread across my face.

Mr. Rüdiger watched me and Max, nodding deeply with a satisfied expression.

★

"Come on, let's play outside this afternoon! Don't worry, I'll teach you how to catch bugs!"

With a bug-catching basket slung over my shoulder and a net in one hand, I was led outside the mansion by Max's hand.

I tried to contain my excitement and let him lead the way.

TL Note:

Friedrich von Bernstein: It refers to Friedrich von Schäffer-Bernstein (1790–1861), a prominent Grand Duchy of Hesse general of the infantry and war minister.

Battle of Mornu: Reference to the Battle of Marne, a critical World War I battle fought in September 1914. In real life, it is the Germany (Mitteland) who attacked and France (Gallic Empire) was the one on defend. But in this novel, the position is swapped. 

Faterland: The reference is Vaterland or Fatherland, the title to refer to Germany.

Hans from "On the Tracks": Refer to Hans Giebenrath, the protagonist of its real life counterpart "Beneath The Wheel", a bright, sensitive boy living a small town. His life is quite tragic if I'm remember correctly?