WFT 08

World’s Fluffiest Teacher

08: Kitpocalypse

Prismatia was... incandescently angry. Furious, even. She’d left Raine on her own for less than an hour, and the damn meddling foxes had taken the opportunity to kidnap her.

She was, quite frankly, not in a mood to be tolerant of anything short of a full explanation and apology. An aura of flame burned around her scales, and mana crackled and jumped around her, responding to her rage.

And she could feel it beckoning. The title and the power, the definition of her place in the universe. Ascension beckoned, the chance to define herself as a function of reality itself.

And for the first time in quite some centuries, she was actually considering it. She wouldn’t reach for it today, not unless things went catastrophically wrong, but it was certainly a measure of just how pissed she was at those two little six-tailed fools.

As she approached the great den at supersonic speed, sonic booms following in her wake, a young dragon sensed her presence and roared a challenge.

She looked down to see a young gold-drake of the more serpentine sort, with a flowing mane and antler-like horns— of the sort others might call storm-drakes, or Lung, or other such names, scarcely out of its adolescence. It growled in Draconic. Despite her people’s near-musical roars, their spoken language was harsh and guttural.  

“Who dares approach the territory of Brunhilda The Magnificent—” the gold-scaled dragon said, before she felt the mana of Prismatia’s war-form up close and then saw her. “Oh, shit. It’s you. I’m sorry, my lady—”

“Get out of my way, wyrmling. I have no business with you,” Prismatia growled.

She considered firing off a warning shot with her breath weapon, but... well. The poor girl seemed quite terrified. And she wasn’t the object of her anger— she just happened to live here.

“Y-yes, your grace,” The young dragoness squeaked, nearly losing control of her bowels from sheer terror, as she fled back down towards her own lair. “I’ll stop ruffling your scales.”

Poor child. She’d have to make it up to her later. But for now... it was back to her mission.

She arrived at the Great Den itself, tunnels dug through and under a massive hill that’d long since been hollowed out, and charged for the reinforced steel gates, bursting through them with an empowered shoulder check.

And in front of her eyes was... chaos. She’d visited the Great Den before and never seen it in such disarray. It could be chaotic to a degree, yes, but this was pandemonium.

The guards meant for the gate had clearly departed to deal with the rest of the Great Den being either on fire, rubble, looted, or some combination of the above. It’d almost look like the aftermath of a fiercely contested battle if it wasn’t for the lack of bodies.

Then there were the sights.

On a lower level of the Great Den to her left, Prismatia saw a kit climbing an Aiko statue to nestle himself snugly in the statue’s cleavage. Adorable, but inappropriate. A three tailed kitsune tried to wrangle the kit, but to the dragon’s surprise, opened his mouth and shouted, “Fuck off!” The impromptu English spell resonated with the ambient magic and sent the three-tail flying to land in a decorative koi pond. As for the kit, he just giggled and settled in for a nap.

On a higher level seemingly devoted to baked goods, she saw a bakery explode outward. A gang of kits no older than five or six ran out, arms full of sweet rolls and cookies. An angry, white aproned four tailed Kitsune chased after them only for the lead kit to whirl, shout, “Chill the fuck out!” and literally encase her in ice, leaving only her head and tails free. The kits then added insult to injury by sitting down to eat their ill-gotten gains in front of her.

One girl even offered the baker a cookie. The poor, ice encased fox seemingly just gave up and accepted the cookie, munching away much like the kits with their stolen goods.

Finally, there was the preteen kit closest to her. He was sitting on a ledge watching the chaos much as she was. His stomach audibly rumbled, and yet before Prismatia could do anything, he spoke.

“Mind Goblin Deeze Nuts?” he said. At this point, a purple-skinned mind goblin appeared in a burst of magic, holding a tray of what smelled like honey roasted macadamia nuts. The child smiled, giving him a fox coin, which he pocketed, before the mind goblin turned to her.

He shrugged. “It happens,” he thought, speaking into her head but remaining respectful of her boundaries and not digging in deep. “Always getting summoned but works out. Unlike other goblins, I’m telepathic, means I can always make the most of a business opportunity. Besides, no one can resist Goblin Nut, you see. Now, get your goblin nuts here, one bag, one fox coin!” he broadcasted, walking down the chaos strewn streets of the Great Den.

Surprisingly, a few kitsune stopped whatever panicked flailing they were doing or damage management to buy a bag. Now, why they were called goblin nuts when they were clearly macadamia nuts was a matter best pondered never.

Prismatia couldn’t help but be shocked out of her rage by what appeared to be a full-scale fox kit rebellion. Or, well, at the very least it had taken a backseat. It was simply too cute and too chaotic a scene for her to maintain full steam on her anger in the face of. Now, where was her dear student?

The dragon headmistress wandered a bit further, prepared to bring Hell but finding it very difficult to even contemplate that given the level of bullying many adult kitsune were undergoing. “This is revenge, old man!” one kit cackled, holding up a razor to an elderly four tail.

Of course, the kit was tackled by other kits who gave a very strong “What is wrong with you?” speech before.

Prismatia’s musings were cut off with a familiar scent rising from behind her.

“Oh heeeeeeeeeeeeeey Prismatiaaaaa! Long time no seeeee, hic-cup, hehehe,” her student said, staggering from a nearby store with a half empty bottle of plum wine in her hands. “Did, you know, the aunties here are bitches? But I sure showed em! And I took their booze! Yay. Are you proud of me?” Raine beamed.

Or as proud as a one tailed, absolutely smashed Kitsune with freckles could be. Her cheeks were flushed and she was staggering vaguely in Prismatia’s direction.

Hmm, cute. On one hand, she wanted to coil around Raine like a snake and protect her precious student from the world itself. On the other.... why was she this drunk? And what in the name of floof had happened here?

“...Yes. Are you quite alright, Raine?” Prismatia asked, shifting back into her humanoid form.

“Aww…” Raine said, wavering in place. “I was, I was gonna pet you! Why’d you go all small! But small you is nice too. Get down here,” the fox demanded, making grasping motions for Prismatia’s head and horns.

Oh, oh no. DANGER, danger. This was dangerous for Prismatia’s carefully maintained dignity and sense of appropriate student-teacher relationships, even if they were supposed to marry eventually anyway, based on the word of that damned goddess.

Nevertheless, she complied, landing next to her drunken student and sweeping the smaller woman into her arms. “...What the fuck happened here?”

“I won! That’s what happened,” Raine said, leaning into Prismatia’s chest, one hand over her shoulder and so close to being swung around her neck in a more intimate carry. “Showed those, hicc-up, bitches, locking me up and not listening to a damn word I say! Taught kits some nice language too! Then I walked out and stole their booze!” she cackled.

Raine suddenly paused. “You’re so warm. I can hear your heartbeat,” Raine giggled, leaning into Prismatia’s cleavage shamelessly to listen.

Good gods, it was too early for this. Perhaps if Raine was sober, she’d be more willing to indulge the kitsune, but for now... she’d just let her nestle close and ignore anything else.

“...Right. You taught kitsune kits English, and judging by what I’m hearing a good bit of it was curses and slang,” Prismatia sighed. Shameless little fox.  “Well, I guess that’s better than what I was going to do if I got here and found you still imprisoned. I need to talk to...someone, and then we’ll get you home, yes?”

 Her apprentice appeared to be too busy making Prismatia’s heartbeat faster and giggling lecherously to pay any attention to her words. Very well, then.

She sought out the oldest Kitsune she could find— a six-tail well into what passed for middle-aged for a shapeshifting race that never had to look it.

The unfortunate fox was currently buried under a tide of small fluffy kits shouting obscenities, trying to restore some semblance of order. Wonderful.

Prismatia pulled the kitsune out from the pile of floof with her tail, her hands currently occupied by Raine. She was trying her best to not think about that part.

“Out of all the floof-brained, foolish things you could have done, this was probably the worst,” she growled, glaring at the unfortunate fox, her tail wrapped around their thin waist.

“What the!? Prismatia? What in the floofball are you even doing here?” the brown haired six tailed haggardly said. “Wait, what, is that the one tailed Sae and Sai found? What, what are you doing with her?” Her voice rose, very rapidly becoming one of outrage, if held back with tiredness and fatigue of the situation.

“Raine is my personal apprentice, and I generally trust her judgement. I left her alone at a cafe for half an hour to have an important conversation with the mayor of Warren’s Folly. And when I returned, do you know what I found?” Prismatia paused, stroking Raine’s hair affectionately as a tongue of flame surged between her teeth. “I found my most promising student in centuries foxnapped by a pair of meddling idiots who thought they were doing a good deed by rescuing an abandoned orphan and wouldn’t listen to a word out of her mouth because they thought they knew better.”

“She’s, she’s a one-tail!” the kitsune stuttered, as if that that was enough counter argument to render Prismatia’s arguments null and void.

“She’s a prodigy and a native English speaker is what she is, you idiot. Maybe think a little about why she appears to be one-tailed before kidnapping someone else’s precious student? She’s got a student ID on her, by Sayuri’s blessed ushanka. And what do I see when I get here? Chaos, and my apprentice drunk off her ass because the Grand Kitsune Den can’t see what’s in front of their eyes and treat Raine like she’s a child. If such foolishness happens again there will be consequences, do you understand me?” Prismatia’s growl and enraged expression were.... somewhat undermined by Raine’s giggling and mumbling.

Raine, finally, came out of her happy place, and noticed the six frozen six tailed kitsune in front of her. She frowned and took a breath.

“FUCK OFF!” Raine screeched; the magic forcibly propelling the cowering six tail back into the swarm of playing and cursing kits. Her student then just casually went back to nestling and nuzzling into Prismatia’s cleavage.

“...Quite.” The dragon clicked her tongue, ascending upwards, exiting the Great Den in a rush before her drunken student got any further ideas that she might regret later, or that might impinge Prismatia’s dignity.

~~~~

Hibari was having the worst day of her life.

Ironically, it was supposed to be the best day. She had been putting in the work in the Great Den’s leadership, getting recognition, even finally got her sixth tail, and had, at last, been trusted with her first major job: holding down the fort while Matriarch Miyuki, sacred 9 Tailed fox, handled negotiations with the dwarves over a border dispute.

Hell, Sae and Sai reporting back they had found a wayward orphan and brought her back was news for celebration, even if this ‘Raine’ was a bit odd.

Then everything exploded.

The walls exploded, the doors, the ovens, the cookie jars, everything was exploding, or being thrown around. It’d be more dignified if they had been invaded by the dwarves, but oh no. It was kits.

Someone had, somehow, taught kits, the least responsible magic users possible, magic, and worst off did it while most of the adults who could rein them in were away with Matriarch Miyuki.

Oh and Prismatia was involved somehow. Can’t forget that, or that she’d abducted the poor thing or had… other, intentions.

Hibari’s skin crawled at how intimate Raine was acting with Prismatia. That just wasn’t natural for a one tail. Hell, seeing a one tail look adult was just wrong in general. Yet, what could Hibari do against the greatest of the Elder Dragons?

Hibari had barely been able to escape the mass of rough housing kits to just sit dejectedly on the edge of a fountain while the Great Den burned down around her.

A cold wind made Hibari shiver and hold her tails for comfort. Then she realized they were underground and while there were vents, there should be no cold winds like this.

Everywhere, over the entire Den, snowflakes fell, putting out fires. Icy spirits of foxes picked kits up by the nape of their necks, dug the overwhelmed adults out of piles, and otherwise began bringing order to the Den.

A flurry of snowflakes rushed through the fountain square, revealing Matriarch Miyuki. A resplendent 9 tailed fox from the far north, famous for her snow white tails, long, white hair, and piercing blue eyes. On either side of her was her entire retinue of the elder foxes of the Den: none less than a seven tail, most eight tails and proven negotiators, crafters, spellcasters, and of course, warriors.

Miyuki looked upon Hibai coldly, but with a cold born of disappointment tinged with righteous anger.

“What. Happened?” Miyuki asked, voice echoing in the now quiet Great Fox Den.

~~~~

AN:

BookDragon: Hope you like the chapter! We decided not just resolving this in one go was better for the narrative. Maybe if Prismatia was less pissed and less distracted by a certain drunken fox she’d have explained more fully. Meanwhile, Drunk Raine is enjoying her current circumstances without a care in the world.

HiddenMaster: Indeed, Raine has definitely found her happy place. When she sobers up, her embarrassed blush will be hot enough to fry an egg, maybe make some toast, too.

But for now, Raine just vibes. No thoughts, just her favorite person in the world.

BookDragon: and even once this resolves, there might be some tensions between the dragons and the kitsune in the future! Fun! And really, can anyone blame Raine for her happy place being nestling her face into dragon tits?

HiddenMaster: Indeed.

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