AKA 2-02

A Kitsune's Ascent 2-02

"Keep your tits to yourself, woman!"

Zack bounced off of the strange-looking man, fell onto her ass when she tried to stand back up, and looked up at him with a growl. "Damnit, where did you even come from!" she asked, getting back up and dusting off her poor tail.

The silvery-white furred foxgirl smirked, looking down at her and patting her on the head casually as she giggled. "Awww, Timmy! Look at the little baby foxxo with the zoomies. She's so cyuute!"

The bigger fox began smooshing her cheeks and holding her close, making an almost purring sound that made Zack want to bite her for some reason. But everything in her also screamed that if she did, it would be the last thing she ever did, so she didn't dare.

What's more, the man — or woman? Zack couldn't tell by scent — didn't even respond to her, or the bigger kitsune. Instead, he was muttering under his breath, head and pointy hat tilted to look at the weird folds in space up in the air. His hands moved, as if tracing something invisible, and then the air popped, making her ears briefly ring. "Oh motherfucker!" he stomped repeatedly. "I was so fucking close to tracing that back! Shit, Tsukuyomi, we're stuck here for at least a month." 

"Uh… the fuck is going on here?" Bobby asked, trotting back. He'd taken the lead for a bit, and was now looking on the scene with confusion even as he panted, thin beads of perspiration on his cherry red skin in the air. The wind chose that moment to pick up, sending his luxurious blonde hair flaring dramatically like an anime character himbo making his first appearance.

"An Oni?!" the white titty-fop held Zack closer and wrapped her tails around Zack like she was preparing to run away with her. "What the fuck is an Oni doing running with a baby kitsune?! Are you leading her somewhere?"

"Er, yeah? We were racing to the gym? Of course I'm leading her somewhere. It's a race, how else would it work? And I was winning," Bobby said pointedly, with a grin Zack's direction before he looked back to the strange duo.

"Ah! So it's a rivalry…" the big fluff-brain seemed to relax at that a little. "But wait! What kind of Oni and Kitsune would train at the same gym! That's suspicious!"

Bobby raised an eyebrow. "Because we're bros for life and she has a membership there? It's a nice gym. My daddy gave it to me and I've kept it going nice and good. Anyway, of course she trains there with me. Hell, I've helped with her triathlon workout routine."

"Speaking of which, the Mega Noodle Bowl Championship will be happening in Ingland this year!" Zack said, finally having gotten her head free from the valley of breasts. "I need to work on my swimming, so that I can keep my speed from my cycling!" 

The wizard named Timmy finally looked back at them. "I understood barely half of that. What in the Abyss are you talking about?"

"A battle of fitness?!" Tsukuyomi squeed. "You're right! You must train and grow, so that you can surpass the Oni-brother who claims you."

"That's… not wrong, but—" Bobby started, suddenly, looking Tsukuyomi and Timmy up and down. "Uh, you're not from around here, are ya?" he asked.

"We fell out of a hole in the sky, what do you think?" Timmy retorted.

"Timmy! I must adopt this young fox! She doesn't even know how to clothe herself!" Tsukuyomi exclaimed, holding Zack up in her arms.

"What do you mean?" Zack complained. "I can clothe myself just fine! This is just more comfy!"

"'Tis not proper to walk around wearing nothing but a shoddy illusion in public!" Tsukuyomi said holding her close like she was a protective aunt. "You must wear robes, and armor!"

Timmy gave Tsukuyomi a look before his right eye took on an odd glint, like there was a film of blue light over it. He started. "Girl, you know even the most basic apprentice can break the Tier 0 piece of illusionary garbage you used to make your fur look like clothing? You're one step from being naked in public and giving everyone a show."

"Ah?" Zack squeaked. "What do you mean Tier Zero? What even is Tier Zero?"

Timmy's mouth dropped open in abject shock and horror. "You-you don't know about Tier magic? The steps from 0 to 9? The intermediary half steps?"

Bobby scratched his head. "Er, no. We got magic in this world not like, two months ago? We're still figuring this shit out. Why? You more familiar with it?"

"Oh my gods, they know nothing," Timmy said in a small voice. "Okay, new plan. Tsukuyomi! We're gonna be here a while, we have to teach these rookies to not blow themselves up or summon interdimensional Karens."

Wait wut?

"I want takoyaki now!" Tsukuyomi exclaimed. "Interdimensional Karens always make me so hungry."

Zack sighed. "…I know a place."

[CENTER]~~~~

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[/CENTER] Wizard Tim would admit a few things about this new world.

One, its inhabitants, after a few questions, knew jack and shit. He'd suspected, of course, but they didn't know the basics of the basics, of how magic flowed, how the System managed and condensed skills, hell even the tier system may as well have been Archaic to them.

Two, they did make good Takoyaki and after the day he'd had, a good meal was sorely needed.

Three, what they lacked in magic they made up with technological convenience. 

"What?" Tim asked, aggressively biting into his stick of Takoyaki. "Never seen a wizard eat before?"

"Nah, just, well, I guess I was expecting a bit more surprise at the, well, everything. AC, lights, the machines, you know? You look a bit… old fashioned, I guess," the oni with the most luxurious hair Tim had ever seen said. Seriously, most oni men were bald, and yet Bobby put the vast majority of oni women to shame with his locks. Tim would have to ask for his conditioner. As for his question…

Wizard Tim snorted. "What? Think I haven't seen technology before? I've been in the dwarf halls, kid. I've seen non-magical lights, machines, and more. Bit less coal dust and steam here, but that's about it. Neat you managed it without magic all this time, but that's about it." 

Bobby scratched his head, taking a sip of the green tea they'd been served. "I guess that makes sense."

Tim nodded in approval, happy to see this oni was not subject to the emotional fluctuations he'd seen in others. Some oni did not take kindly to their preconceptions being shattered.

Tim eyed the other two occupants of the booth after, the one tailed kitsune named Zack and his bodyguard, Tsukuyomi.

"Eat moar! You'll grow bigger!" Tsukuyomi geckered at Zack, who was already eating quite a bit.

"I can't eat more! I have to work out soon!" Zack geckered right back.

"You can eat and work out! Don't have such a weak stomach!" Tsukuyomi grinned.

"No! I'm too full!" Zack moaned as Tsukuyomi did her best to stuff the young fox.

"Then put it on your tits! They're lagging behind your ass at this point, so clearly you've been packing all your excess energy down there!" Tsukuyomi laughed.

"So what if I like having an ass better than tits!" Zack grumbled. "Asses scream powerful, but Tits just get in the way!"

"Not if you bind them right!" Tsukuyomi argued. "Or use shapeshifting to keep them in place and out of the way!"

"Ugh, girl talk," Bobby groaned. "I get it, I do, but just not interested, you know?"

Tim shrugged. If Bobby thought this was bad, he should try hanging out with sex demons. "Say, most Kitsune I've met have had long hair. Bit of a point of pride. Short hair has been out of fashion for a long time with them. So why does Zack have short hair?"

Bobby shrugged. "It was long at the start of the semester, but she decided to cut it short. Just is."

Tim nodded idly, "Hopefully she remembered to keep some of that. Kitsune hair can make some great reagents. Hells, one tailed kitsune can be better than 9 tailed kitsune hair in some situations because it has the properties but not the overwhelming power, making it more suitable for delicate potions."

"You mean you're going to, like, what? Somehow melt Zack's hair and drink it?" Bobby asked.

Tim, for his part, was a bit aghast. "Me, drink it? Fuck no, I'd sell that shit. Sure, Kitsune shed everywhere — shut it Tsukuyomi, you know it's true — but that stuff is still valuable. All magical creatures and their parts can have a use, usually. Even you," Tim said.

"Wait, me? How in the black skillet would you use me?" Bobby said, sounding morbidly fascinated.

"Well, you're an oni. Oni are known for their strength, ferocity, and endurance. Shavings from your horns, your blood, skin, bones, organs, etc., could be used in a variety of magical rituals. Some could imbue oni strength, like a strength potion, others could try something a bit more permanent. Sometimes, oni reagents could be used to amplify other potions. One time we had a particularly nasty Deep Dragon my spells couldn't penetrate, ended up making a firebomb imbued with an Oni chief's blood and brought the entire cavern down on top of it," Tim explained, falling into a smooth rhythm. He liked talking shop and magic, and sure, Bobby was a complete newbie, but everyone had to learn the basics.

"My blood's explosive now?" Bobby asked with alarm. "Wait, you harvest people? For, what reagents?"

"Hells no, you're not a void borne. You amplified what was there. If you bled on the ground it'd just be that, would also need to be concentrated a bit as you're a bit young. Promising, though, from what I can see. Also, excuuuuuse me!?" 

Tim slammed his fist on the table. "I'm not some barbarian savage! I would never harvest reagents from the unwilling, and everyone I do get is compensated fairly! That oni chieftain gave his blood willingly as that deep dragon was a threat to everyone and wanted to help even if he was no longer physically able to!"

Bobby held his hands up. "Sorry, bro, sorry. Just, new to this, right? And that sounded kinda heinous, but you cleared that right up."

Tim harrumphed, more for the sake of harrumphing than anything else. "Right, we'll have to correct that lack of knowledge in the coming days. I suppose you do have right to be concerned, but anyone who does take such reagents from the unwilling gets bounties on their head and hunted down like dogs. Criminal scum, you understand?"

"Indeed!" Tsukuyomi grinned. "And if Wizardly Timmy here became a rogue mage, I would be obligated to bring his head back on a silver plate to be studied by the Archmage! And that would suck, because Tim makes the damn best Lemonade ever! I would have to go without Lemonade! Could you imagine!?"

"Seriously?" Bobby asked, looking a bit befuddled.

"The secret is whiskey," Tim winked.

"Hard Lemonade?!Now you have my attention," Zack chirped. "I have a store nearby we can raid for ingredients, if you'll make some for me and my Minion too!"

"I'll make some at some point, but the recipe is my trade secret. You are not finding out more," the Wizard explained, adjusting his hat mysteriously. He took it off, reached in, and pulled out a decanter of lemonade.

"Again, seriously?" Bobby asked as Tim poured it into Bobby's cup. "Just like that?"

Tim sniffed at Bobby and Zack's remarks. "Never said later wouldn't be immediately. Mistakes like that can get your butt sent to the outer planes and your torso to the Pleasure Districts." 

"Ooooh! Lemooooooooon Aaaaaaaiiiiiiid!" Tsukuyomi yelled, holding out an empty mug. "Sweet, tangy goodness, fill my cup!" she chanted, like it was a spell, and some of the Lemonade came out in a stream to do exactly that.

Zack looked at them with interest. "Can I have some as well?" she asked, making cute faces at Wizard Tim, the most Wizard of Wizardly Wizards.

Tim looked at Zack, feeling oddly pandered to by the Kitsune. "Of course," he poured her some as well.

Bobby seemed a bit dubious on hard lemonade from a wizard's hat, but gave it a sniff and a sip. He then jumped and looked incredibly conflicted at the glass. "How in the Black Skillet is this so good? I've had alcohol before and it just tasted like bitter wheat," Bobby asked.

Tim shrugged. "You're an oni. Oni take alcohol way better than humans, literally healthier for them too." 

The wizard turned to Zack expectantly.

Zack slurped a bit of it, and smiled. "It's very Lemon!" she stated, her tail wagging. "Spicy Lemon! I like it!"

Tsukuyomi was busy chugging her drink back even as it continuously refilled itself.

Wizard Tim felt very smug. He made the best damn hard lemonade and hadn't been dethroned yet. 

He clapped his hands. "Welp, now that we're getting good and inebriated, it's time to talk magic."

"Is it okay to talk about magic while drunk?" Bobby asked.

Wizard Tim cackled. 

"It makes it better!" 

[CENTER]~~~~

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[/CENTER] HiddenMaster: Wizard Tim is a blast to write, and the reverse isekai continues to be intriguing. Tim's from a high magical world, and poor Bobby and Zack here only got their magic a couple months back.

Very much channeling quirky programmer vibes with Tim here.

Kitsu: The Foxxos continue to floof. Because Floofy foxxos are best foxxos. Also, Foxxu Fooxxxoo Foxxos Foxxoiong Foxiously.

As you can see, head empty, only floof.

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