AKA 2-03

A Kitsune’s Ascent 2-03

Wizard Tim took a long draw of his special lemonade and sighed as it burned down his throat just right. “That’s the good shit. So, you two, newbies. Tell me. Do you know what magic is?”

“Um,” Zack tilted her head in thought. “Is it like, a mystical force that we can’t really quantify? Because that’s what people call magic here.”

Bobby nodded along. “More or less that. Lots of different definitions even.”

Wizard Tim rolled his eyes. “Okay, we got some misconceptions to clear up. First? It absolutely can be quantified. Got mana readers and counters back in my workshop, plus a thousand and one other different ways, but I guess with you guys having no magic before it’s understandable. Secondly, the official definition back at the Magical Academy of Pigsty is—”

“Pigsty? Who would name their town that?” Bobby asked, flicking his blonde hair over his shoulders. God damn it was so wavy and glossy.

“First off, don’t interrupt me when I’m talking. That’s disrespectful as shit. As far as I know, city was founded by pig herders, name struck, and by the time anyone wanted to change it the paperwork sucked so the name remained. Anyway, as I was saying,” Tim continued, glaring at Bobby who backed down with his hands raised. “Magic is basically another fundamental force same as gravity that was used in the creation of the world, and we’re just using what’s leftover.”

Wizard Tim waved it off. “But that’s the abstract shit. The real practical matters are the tiers.”

“Tiers?” Bobby asked.

“Better,” Wizard Tim said. Bobby glared, but it rolled off Tim’s back like nothing. He’d seen scarier. “Tiers are how we label spells, going from 0 to 9. Tier 0’s a cheat, it’s more innate stuff. Fairy flight, kitsune shapeshifting, dragon’s breath. Power is all over the place.”

He held up a finger. “Tier one’s the basic cantrips. Won’t impact more than a room at most, stuff like light or mend scratch.” With that, he held a finger up, summoning a small ball of light from his hand.

“Even a baby can do Tier 1 spells,” Tsukiyomi giggled. “Like Zack here. She’s just so precious, isn’t she!” the fox-woman giggled, rubbing her face against Zack’s cheek.

“Hey!” Zack flailed, but was unsuccessful in pushing her off.

Tim snorted. “Better get used to it. She’s snuggly,” he advised with a tone of deep experience.

“Snuggles are healing!” Tsukiyomi giggled.

“Technically yes, as she is a kitsune. Specifically, hugging a kitsune can allow you to regenerate magic faster,” Tim explained with a shrug. “Before you ask, it’s a phenomena I’m still studying, no clear answer yet, just theories, but it’s why I tolerate her.”

“Just admit you like sleeping on me, wrapped in my tails when we cuddle, I don’t mind~” Tsukuyomi laughed, a bright and cheery smile on her face.

“I’d rather die. It’s just the most efficient way to recoup my magic after the bigger stuff. Speaking of which…”

Tim held up two fingers. “Tier 2 is where spells start getting more complex. Typically stronger, layered, but mostly utility. Fire bolt, shock, etc. Still the shit your average person might learn just because it’s handy. Fire bolt particularly is used to start fires the world over.”

Wizard Tim would brain the person who popularized firebolt with a cactus and then shake their hand. The spell was stupidly simple to cast, but holy shit was it inefficient.

He held up three fingers. “Tier 3 is where spells start getting genuinely complex. Not mystery level, but you have to try. It’s where most people who are proficient or just want to be mages stop as it has the classics. Fireball, lightning, raise earth, etc. Most won’t need to go beyond this as this is a nice middle ground between difficulty of casting and actual effect. Beyond this point you get the nerds who like this shit,” he lectured. “Like me.”

“I can definitely see that,” Zack deadpanned. But it was clear she was interested, and listening intently.

“Tier four is where you find people actually experimenting and making their own shit. Some of the weirdest spells fall in this category because some mage asked ‘Can this be done?’ without wondering if they should,  like cast tungsten ball sack or bad hair day. Exceedingly specific, but you get the idea. Curses, too.”

Bobby choked on his drink. “You can’t just say tungsten ball sack and—”

“Tier five is where you start seeing genuine talent at play. We’re talking spells with area of effect. Stuff like burden, making everything just slightly heavier, make mud over a huge field, tangling weeds, etc.  Small stuff,” the wizard elaborated. This was honestly refreshing, like giving a lecture back at the Academy. “Not real gravity manipulation, by the way, that shit’

is harder.”

He clapped his hands. “Tier six is where shit starts getting spicy. We’re leaving the area of natural effects that you could recreate with enough effort. This is conceptual stuff, or touching on it. Teleportation, enchanting objects to do something super specific against a being like “holy blade”, and fox roads.” He grunted. “Kitsune fucking cheat with that one.” Tim glared at Tsukuyomi. It’d taken him a while to figure out fox roads and kitsune got it for free, practically.

“Kekekekeke! Foxroads are best roads!” the nine-tailed fox cackled. “You can designate a place for a Torii gate to show up, and then just connect it to any other Torii gate ever on your plane of existence, and walk an incredibly shortened path between them! Some Kitsune can even make Torii gates to other realms, but those are a bit special, and you have to be part of the Inari collective to pull that off. Fucking protagonists…”

Tim very carefully did not mention he’d analyzed Zack’s aura and had found Aiko’s blessing all over her. Tsukuyomi probably wouldn’t hurt Zack, but the explosive argument would be so much hassle and he had better things to do. Like stick his dick in an anthill.

“But yeah, Tier six is archmage stuff, easily, but past that point is the actually hard shit that some people won’t ever be able to do. Like, Tier six anyone can learn if you try hard enough, for long enough, but beyond this point you’ve gotta be a bit special,” Tim explained. “Tier 7 is a jump as you go from just affecting a local region like a battlefield to affecting a continent. Call Meteor is the big one here, but there’s others.”

“Holy shit, that’s a real thing?” Bobby stammered.

“Oh yeah! It’s not that impressive compared to some of Timmy’s stuff, but I used to have trouble slicing all the meteors fast enough to save a continent from destruction,” Tsukiyomi smiled.

Wizard Tim took and downed what was left of his of his lemonade. That had been a very bad day. Fucking apocalypse, and then this anomalous beast of a kitsune just rushing around slicing apart the apocalypse like it was nothing. Fucking war gods, and he was not looking forward to their empty positions being filled. Tsukuyomi took care of the last generation, but they’d get more soon enough.

“Yeah, that shit just happens and you get used to it,” he grunted, refilling everyone’s lemonade with a snap of his fingers. He didn’t even have any super magic for his special lemonade, that was all done by hand. Everyone needed hobbies, after all. “Luckily, most don’t go to at that level and the big goddesses usually step in if too many start trying continent obliterating shit. Helps that at that level, spells like that can leave you drained for a long time, so it’s not a super casual thing to do, most of the time.”

And wasn’t that the truth. He’d drained himself hard and had to shoulder the burden of a global flood caused by the head floof herself goofing the fuck up. Raising the continent, even if it was a small one, ripped his reserves to pieces for months. Only reason it didn’t take longer was the goddess herself offering compensation for her fuck up to not tell her sisters.

At least Aiko bribed him with a Rod of Infinite Mana. Fucking penis shaped staff. He’d never use it on anyone he respected even if it meant his death, but hot young shits who think they’re a big deal? Oh boy, he enjoyed bringing that fucker out.

“Tier 8 is where nuance starts taking priority. Technically, you could have an archmage at Tier 6 causing problems with sheer power if he’d managed to hook himself up to some mana vein or, I don’t know, got half a million dragon crystals together. But Tier 8 takes finesse and control, and despite not being as flashy can be just as impressive. Mass mind control, healing spells capable of healing thousands, irrigating an entire countryside without the slightest bit of flooding, etc. Let me tell you that shit takes serious effort and even I don’t do that lightly. Basically, nascent demigod territory, frankly,” Tim continued.

“And that leaves Tier 9. What tops that?” Bobby asked.

“Tier 9 is godhood,” Tim explained. “It’s where you get so damn good at something, like your affinities, that you gain a claim to godhood over it and can claim a domain. In that you have absolute control over a subject, and no one can ever beat you even if they hook themselves up to an infinite mana generator,” Tim said, snorting at the idea. That never ended well. “Barring a god with even more claim over a domain challenges you, of course. Technically you could try for more, but the greater goddess have rules and limitations for a reason. It’s more for your protection, than anyone else. Never have seen what happens when someone tries to get multiple domains, but I have my suspicions and it ain’t pretty.”

“And that’s the magic system in a nut shell. Actual magic is shaping mana to do shit and I can show you the forms later for some basics so you can start, Hell Tsukuyomi could, but yeah,” Wizard Tim said. “So, any questions?”

“Do you have a place to stay while you’re here?” Zack asked, slurring a little from too much hard lemonade. “I can get you two a place, but you’ll have to stay on the couch for tonight, as the realtors aren’t open at night.”

Wizard Tim gave Zack a look. “We did fall out of the sky earlier. I don’t know, Tsukuyomi, you got a vacation home around here? I sure as shit don’t.”

Tsukuyomi giggled. “If you have a den for us, then that would be appreciated little one.”

“I may be a little drunk, but I am loaded,” Zack sighed. “I can easily purchase you something decent for in case you visit from time to time, but we can check that out in the morning.”

Bobby snorted, taking his alcohol far better by appearance than Zack had. “No shit.”

“The little one is a wealthy Noble?” Tsukuyomi smiled. “Then we would be very appreciative of such a favor.”

Wizard Tim laughed. “Okay then, if you want to fund us, then I’m all for it. I haven’t slept in 37 hours, so a snooze would be good.”

With that, they packed up and left.

~~~~

“Did you get all that?” the head waitress asked the cook with a smile.

“Oh yeah, been recording since the beginning,” the cook laughed boyishly. “Started streaming midway, too. What a goldmine!” he grinned.

“We are going to make so much fucking money,” the head Waitress smiled.

~~~~

AN:

HiddenMaster: Wizard Tim is such a fun character to write. Even him doing exposition I was finding all sorts of little excerpts or tangents he could go because he is so well traveled.

Kitsu: And Tsukuyomi is a real treat to write. Because of how she is, she is basically the perfect pairing to use with Wizard Tim.

I’m glad that my buddy Speather allowed me to use the character I made for him in this fic, and I’m definitely going to at least make a mention of him and give him a copy of the book when it comes out as a fully published book.

I’mma be real here btw. I never thought I could have something so publishable before I started working with HiddenMaster. He’s such a treat to work with, and it makes it so much easier to work because we just click so well, and what we come up with when working together is just so damn marketable.

90% of the skill increase in my writing has literally just been shooting the shit with the guy and making plans with him, because we just work that well together.

Which is why I’m glad to announce that we have a full on Multiverse of fics that will be coming out all at once, with the help of the others in our group, that we will be publishing under one account, and hopefully gain enough from that that all those in my community will have a steady income from author work and commissions, and not need to find another job.

HiddenMaster: Gonna make me blush here, but yeah, isn’t that the dream? We’re making real progress here with our works. Lots of interlinked stories in the pipeworks that just need some more time in the oven.

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