CoM 01

Call of the Maid 01

Disclaimer:

]This is a story written by KitsuneObsessedFreak and HiddenMaster, commissioned by Demensional Wonderer.

This is a DxD/Touhou cross, so expect tropes and ideas common to both including but not limited to: scenes that can get a bit racy at times (SB/SV: Don't worry we're not including smut on those sites), excessive violence, occasional dark bits because holy shit DxD can be dark when it wants to be, bullet hells if those happen to trigger you because Touhou, and of course, Maids.

]If you expect things to follow canon word for word, the answer is no. We are writing a story and sometimes canon was infected with the stupid.

]Everyone is 18+ in this fic.

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Blood. And Blood pudding.

Day after day. Week after week. Month after month. Century after century. Nothing but this…

"Big Siiiiis! I don't wanna eat this anymore!" Flandre whined, Remilia's eyes twitching as her sister used her power to destroy anything on the plate of food.

And honestly, Remilia agreed. "Understandably so," Remilia sighed. "I think it is about time we had a talk with our dear maid Sakuya here, and had her undergo a journey."

She snapped her fingers, reaching out to Sakuya's thread of fate and nudged it a little. Just slightly, enough to make things a little interesting.

Sakuya walked into their room, mixing bowl in hand with yet more blood pudding mid whisk. "Yes, Mistress? You summoned me?"

"Indeed," Remilia grimaced. "I have a task for you, Sakuya. One that is of utmost importance."

"Oh? Do you want more blood pudding? I was just making the next batch, but if you are feeling hungry I can double the portion," the maid offered.

"Absolutely not!" Remilia roared. "…Sakuya, we may be vampires, but even Vampires can grow tired of eating the same food for centuries. You will need to learn how to cook more food, things that are not just blood pudding, and I know the perfect way for you to do so."

"How so?" Sakuya tilted her head in confusion.

"You see, Yukari's pet fox owes me a favor," Remilia began. "And thus, I'm going to have her take you outside the barrier to learn the ways of the human world, and introduce new foods to our table. Don't come back for at least three centuries."

Sakuya's mouth fell open in shock, the bowl of blood pudding clattering to the floor with a sploosh. "But, Mistress! Who will clean the windows and dust the shelves if I'm not here? Who will remind you to take your afternoon naps? I can't leave, I have too many responsibilities here!"

"I have already put out the call for a temporary maid to fill your role, and Marissa's child with that shrine maiden Reimu has shown remarkable ability to summon shadows of the people she knows since the Lost Word incident was resolved," Remilia smiled. "I'm sure she can at least hold the place together just fine while you go on a little training trip."

"But!" Sakuya fretted, looking between both, visibly distraught. They saw the moment she gave in. "Very well, Mistress. I will go into the human world, if you are sure." The maid paused at the doorway, looking back at Remilia hopefully with a trembling lip.

"Yes, we are sure," Remilia stated. "You'll be fine. We'll be waiting for you to finish your training trip and return in three hundred years."

"V-very well, Mistress. I will begin immediately," Sakuya said, leaving not to the servant quarters, but immediately for the front doors as lightning thundered and it started raining.

"…Did she just forget her travel pack, jacket and umbrella?" Remilia asked, shaking her head. "Classic Sakuya."

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[/CENTER] Sakuya Izayoi departed the Scarlet Devil Mansion with a mix of sadness and determination in her heart. Sadness at departing her mistress and leaving the household chores to someone else, and determination as she had a mission!

She had to get better at cooking! So far she knew how to prepare blood, blood pudding, and boil water. How much more could there be?

The trip to the barrier did not take terribly long. There were multiple ways she could pick, but it felt proper to go for Reimu's shrine as the proper exit and entrance. She wasn't some uncultured barbarian to just make a new exit somewhere else even if it was possible.

Sakuya sped things up a bit by flying there, coming to a stop in front of the shrine.

"Ran? You there? I would like to leave for the wider world. Mistress has tasked me to learn how to cook, you see," Sakuya said, bending forward respectfully and clasping her hands together in prayer.

The shrine doors slammed open, and Reimu looked at her expectantly. "You seriously gonna pray for Ran to come and not donate to the shrine?" she asked, looking her over. "Typical."

Sakuya blinked, reaching for a pocket before frowning. "I believe I left my coin purse back at the mansion," she admitted, flushing a bit. "An oversight, but I can't exactly return until I learn to cook, so… I have no money to give."

"Gah!" Reimu looked as though an arrow had shot her through the heart with the admission that Sakuya was also broke. "…It's raining out. Ran won't come until it's night time, so you might as well come in for now."

"Oh. It is raining. Okay," Sakuya said, as if just realizing it was indeed raining. She hadn't really noticed, such was her sadness at leaving the Scarlet Devil Mansion. She'd just assumed the world felt colder and wetter with her banishment until she learned to cook.

She stepped up to the shrine, reversing the flow of the time to the moment half an hour ago when her uniform wasn't soaking wet. "Thank you," the maid nodded to Reimu.

"…Don't mention it," Reimu sighed. "I've got tea and rice, if you're hungry, but don't expect seconds. I barely have enough for me as it is."

"That would be nice, I was banished before I could get lunch," Sakuya said glumly. Back at the mansion she'd be serving blood pudding around this time.

But not anymore.

Sakuya sighed, deflating a bit before perking up. "How do you cook rice?"

"Well," Reimu looked at her like she was stupid. "First, you wash the rice, like this," Reimu showed her. "Then you fill the pot of rice with water, until it reaches the first joint of your finger. Then, you let it cook for a while."

"Fascinating," Sakuya breathed, internalizing the information. She hadn't even left and she was already starting on her mission!

They ate their meal, and learned even more fascinating things. Like, she had no idea spices could make rice better!

After a long while, night came, and along with it came Ran Yakumo. Yukari's pet fox, as her Mistress liked to call her.

"I see you have become acquainted with Reimu once again," the golden-furred fox hid a smile behind her long white sleeves, her hands brought together politely even as she giggled a little. "This will make your passage and return easier. Come, we have little time."

Sakuya nodded, before turning to Reimu and giving her a little respect. "Thank you for teaching me about rice." Then, she turned and followed Ran without another word.

Ran smirked, opening a 'Gap' in the barrier, which she led Sakuya through with a smile. "Be sure to take your time, Miss Izayoi. We don't want to find that you've rushed things and learnt nothing, fufufu~"

"Oh no, Mistress Remilia was very clear I must attain mastery. I will be meticulous and thorough. No detail shall be overlooked, and I shall become a master chef!" Sakuya proclaimed with a determined fist bump. "Thank you for opening the way," Sakuya said, stepping through the Gap.

With that, the Gap closed behind her, leaving her in the mountains. The rain muted everything, but even now she could smell the difference, the feeling, the faint change in magic and feeling outside Genosokyo. There was also the oddest feeling of half a dozen familiar presencse at the edge of her senses, but the moment she tried to pinpoint it, the feeling vanished. 

Sakuya shook her head, discarding the odd feeling. She must be feeling off from her banishment. Still…

"My journey starts now!" Sakuya declared with conviction.

It was at this point that lightning struck her. 

The fact she was able to redirect the lightning to strike the ground meant she wasn't bothered, but it really put a damper on things to start a journey like that.

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[/CENTER] Sakuya traveled a very, very long time, and very, very far.

Sometimes she walked, sometimes she flew. A few times she even stowed away on ships just to see what it was like and rest up a little.

She only had one goal in mind: learn how to craft the world's cuisines.

"Where to begin, though?" Sakuya thought to herself from a mountain top, looking out over the horizon. "I suppose roots are important, and Japan is right here, anyway," she said, starting with the land she'd been born in.

Just finding a chef to learn from took sometime, as it turns out. The roads were in an even worse state than she thought, and some places were downright primitive. There were more samurai fighting than she'd have expected of the modern world, but then again, Samurai were always fighting so it was to be expected.

Still, she finally made progress with a village matron teaching her the secrets of good Miso soup, how to prepare rice for sake, and how to roast ox. 

Her second teacher was Master Mori, the personal chef of a powerful Daimyo whose name she didn't bother remembering beyond the nickname: Nobu Dunderhead.

She'd asked for teaching. He taught her war. 

Food was not just an ingredient, it was a resource. Hunger was the enemy. Rice must be cooked not just for flavor, but to maximize its potential. Food waste was a sin, one he punished severely. She learned the ways of sushi, of fermentation, of miso preparation, of roasting and basting meats, of homemade noodles, and more.

Her final was a cook off. Here, Master Mori gave his final lesson: a chef always kept trump cards.

He smashed her flat, showed her how the ceiling to true mastery was. Then he died, right at the table, taking his secret recipes to the grave.

Yet, she took the lesson to heart, and continued.

She walked the lands, departing Japan and arriving in the kingdom of Korea. 

Sakuya learned a time from there, fighting off a cabal of undead chefs that sought her secrets, before moving onto China. There, she found the Imperial Court was downright vicious, but prying away their culinary secrets was worth it.

Gradually, she moved west, into India, Persia. She found an enclave of people who insisted they were the Byzantine Empire's true inheritors, but she learned the secrets of garum from their tiny remnants, before moving onto Greece, Italy, German, to France, and Britain. Eventually she even made her way to the Americas.

Sakuya, uh, got lost more than a few times. There was simply so much and so many differences, people to learn from, although the constant ambushes and fights with rival chefs over recipes was pretty consistent.

The worst part was starting over in each culture. Some western cultures used raw salt, not salty sauces even! That had been an eye opener for her.

But gradually, things started to get more difficult in her travels. People started to ask for things like 'IDs' when she traveled, and tried to stop her from learning, the jerks!

Sometimes, too, the world decided to just randomly explode while she was trying to master a recipe. Her clearest memory of the Great War was a shortage of beef and chocolate because the armies kept taking it all!

Eventually, Sakuya found her way into the Underworld. That had lots of ancient chefs to learn from, but a lot of jerks, too. Some kept trying to offer her chess pieces. She didn't even like chess!

When she said no, they tried to make her play. Sakuya stabbed them repeatedly and went back to harvesting rare monster ingredients from the Underworld, but eventually, she was confronted by a powerful devil…

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[/CENTER] "Woah there Miss," Sirzechs called out to the grey-haired woman in a maid outfit.

…Girl was seriously familiar to him, and looked a lot like she was cramping on his wife's style. Though his wife definitely looked hotter in it.

"We can't have you going around the Underworld and killing off members of our faction willy nilly," he stated, watching her for any signs of aggression. "You either need to leave, and probably be hunted for the rest of your life by their families, or settle it by working off the debts you caused and helping pay back the costs of what was lost or destroyed."

"I kept telling them I didn't want to play chess! But they kept insisting and trying to shove the pieces at me!" the gray haired maid said, stamping her feet. "I am just trying to harvest good ingredients and they won't. Stop. Bothering me! They're worse than the border patrol," she huffed.

"That's no reason to kill honest, hard working devils," Sirzechs grunted. "Besides, trespassing on private property to steal ingredients lovingly grown and cared for by the farmers to feed our families is a crime. It's called theft. Theft and murder, and trespassing, and crossing the border illegally. Do I need to tell you why those things are bad? Or are you a real maid with enough intelligence to figure it out on your own."

The young looking woman looked utterly offended on multiple levels. "Are you kidding me? First off, those guys tried to chain me when I said no to their chess game. Two, um, look around?" she said, waving her hand at the Gremory Personal Monster Preserve. "Three, who the Hell are you to question my abilities as a maid?" she growled.

"To answer your questions in order, you broke into their home properties to steal from them and you didn't expect them to try to take advantage of a powerful time mage like yourself? That's on you. For two, this is the Gremory Family's Personal Monster Preserve. That means you are poaching on my family's land, and stealing valuable ingredients we use to feed the family and the serving staff at my father's estate every Friday," Sirzechs stated plainly. "There are signs, fences, magical barriers and traps all designed to keep people out that shouldn't be here. If you were a lesser mage, you'd already be dead. This proves, in my mind, that you came here deliberately, with malice in your mind." 

"What traps? Barriers? I hopped one fence like, a week ago when I…" the woman trailed off, visibly thinking as she looked at him as if in a new light. "Oh. I, er, forgot to turn that off. How are you talking to me right now?" she asked, a bit sheepish.

"I destroyed your control of time over me," he stated bluntly.

"… are you related to Flandre Scarlet?" she asked quietly.

"If she's a part of the Bael family line, the answer is yes," Sirzechs remarked. "If not, then I might never know."

"Ah. I don't suppose you can look over there for like, twenty minutes while I politely prepare myself to be taken into custody?" the girl asked.

"Unfortunately, I've heard many better attempts to escape custody than that one in my centuries of life," Sirzechs chuckled. "Come on now, I'd rather you come with me of your own will, and not in chains. Makes it a lot easier to just offer you a job to pay back what you stole, killed, or broke if you are showing maturity fitting for a maid."

"Fine, I won't run," she agreed reluctantly. "Geeze. How is a maid supposed to learn to make chimera tartare if she can't harvest a few chimeras?" she grumped, stepping up to Sirzechs, although without any hints of resistance on her part.

"Well, this Friday was supposed to be Dragon Liver Pate, but nobody liked that last time. Perhaps we could have the chef try your suggestion, if you are so eager to learn," Sirzechs offered her his hand. "I am Sirzechs Lucifer, Son of Gremory and Bael. What of you?"

The maid looked mildly taken aback for a moment before a slight smile came to her face. "I see. I am Sakuya Izayoi, errant maid of the Scarlet Mansion. I won't say it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, but charmed," she said with a small but polite curtsy.

"Then, Sakuya Izayoi. By the time you have completed your time with the Gremory Estate, we will have you at a far greater standard of ability than you are at present," Sirzechs grinned. "And when you go back home to your previous master, she will be in for a pleasant surprise, and be very pleased."

Sakuya's eyes twitched at his words.

This was going to be fun.

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[/CENTER] [CENTER]AN: 

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