Chapter 131: 3
The Tale of the Black Dog Seeking Advice from the Wolf
"They're having nightmares."
Sirius cast a sideways glance at the staircase leading up to the second floor and let out a solemn sigh. Sitting directly across from him, Remus Lupin was similarly lost in grave thought.
"Frankly, letting them share the same bed is not something I want to allow, even setting aside the ethical implications. It's high time they learned how to be independent of one another. But—"
"If separated, the nightmares return."
"Exactly."
The boy and the girl, gasping in the throes of their nightmares. —Yes, just a boy and a girl.
Neither of them seemed to realize it, but both were being consumed by night terrors. And so they slept, sharing their body heat for the other's sake.
—What a distorted form of mutual reliance.
"I don't know what the right thing to do is. I know they shouldn't be separated right now. But—things can't remain like this forever."
"They've both endured a horrific ordeal. They are so incredibly mature that it's easy to forget, but—they are still only fourteen years old. No one that age should ever have to witness a murder."
"I know... If only I had made it in time."
Flashed across Sirius's mind was the utterly stunned expression on Maria's face the very moment they were transported by the Portkey.
It was the face of a child. She had been terrified ever since the middle of the Tournament. If only his fingertips had reached them in time—he could have stood beside them to face Voldemort.
"How am I supposed to free them from this? To let them be normal—to let them just be children— What is it?"
Sirius frowned as he noticed his best friend, who was resting his chin on his hands across from him, smiling with his eyes. Given the gravity of the situation, Remus's expression seemed entirely out of place.
"No—I was just thinking about how much you sound like a parent."
"I am their parent."
Sirius declared it without a shred of hesitation. Then, he sighed once more. A man who had never known what it meant to be a father was playing at being a parent. The sheer agony of that reality was vividly etched across his still-youthful face.
"I don't know what a good parent looks like. Unlike James, or even you. Because of that... I honestly don't believe I can ever be the perfect parent for them."
If, for instance, what the children needed was an older brother, Sirius would have at least understood that feeling. Even if their relationship hadn't been a good one—Sirius Black was Regulus Black's older brother.
"They need to realize that there are other people they can rely on besides each other. We have to teach them to look to those around them."
"Putting Harry aside for a moment, it seems to me that Maria trusts you quite a bit, doesn't she?"
"Even that is undeniably strange. Why does she trust me so—no, when it comes to that girl, there's no end to the 'whys'."
"...She really is an enigma, isn't she? Maria."
The unfathomable child, Maria Potter. The child hidden in the shadow of Harry Potter, who had commanded the world's attention ever since the day he defeated the Dark Lord. The unspoken Girl Who Lived. The girl who had vanished from the public eye.
Once you became aware of her existence—you realized she was a far stranger, far more fascinating child than even Harry Potter.
"Both Maria and Harry are precious to me."
"Of course they are."
Remus nodded at Sirius's words without a second's hesitation.
"They are both children who deserve to be loved equally. It has to be that way."
"Because James and Lily are gone."
"Even if it's just us, I want to love them as normal children. Not as the Boy Who Lived. Not as Harry Potter's... extra baggage. Just as Harry and Maria. I don't care if I'm just playing at being a parent. Not if it means they can finally see this place as their home."
"Sirius..."
Sirius Black knew the truth. He knew it from the night he broke out of Azkaban and raced to Hogwarts. From the days he spent watching over that beloved boy and girl within the castle walls. He had seen what the rest of the world thrust upon them—the cruel, suffocating expectations of being heroes.
The ones who had driven those two into such deep isolation—were the adults.
"Because if we don't—"
Sirius shut his eyes tightly. The brilliant hazel and emerald green—the colors of those who had once laid down their lives for their family—flashed fiercely in his mind's eye. It was a kind of beauty that evoked sheer terror, for both Sirius and Remus.
"This co-dependency between the twins will eventually kill them both—or someone very close to them."
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