Chapter 176: 2-1

Harry's hand wouldn't let go of mine. I knew it. I understood. Harry was in a constant state of confusion. Of course, I was too, but Harry had it much worse than I did.

"Harry! Good to see you again! What's this, were you always this tiny?"

"Sirius, don't yell at a little kid!"

"Lily, you're yelling too."

"It's fine when I do it. Because I'm his mother. —Mother! Oh, what a wonderful ring that has."

"It really is wonderful... Lily as my wife... two children... a boy and a girl... We'll build a big house and get a dog together... Hehe, hehehe."

"Come here, both of you. Your father is making a face that isn't quite suitable for children right now. ...Oh, is Harry a bit shy, perhaps?"

Still in the same spot in the Forbidden Forest, Harry stood paralyzed in front of the assembled original Marauders. No, it was more than that—when Professor Lupin offered a scarred hand with a youthful, gentle smile, Harry actually backed away. Naturally, holding his hand, I was forced to take a step back as well. Harry was terrified. Unable to process the situation unfolding before him, he clung to my back—the only thing here he truly knew. A miracle like this was just too much to bear.

"My... I wonder if Harry was shy when he was little. The fourteen-year-old Harry was so put together, though."

"Well, it seems this Harry isn't the same Harry we met before... Yeah, maybe we should start with introductions."

James—our father, looking no older than us right now—gleefully introducing his friends went right through Harry's ears. It was wrong. It wasn't like this. Harry simply couldn't accept it. He couldn't process the sudden existence of these people from the past.

I had overcome the death of our parents with the help of my wife and son over a long period of time. I had shared the pain of losing my godfather, my mentor, and my friends with my best friends. Everything, absolutely everything, took time. Even after being given this new life as Maria, I had years to digest the reality of the dead being alive right there, all while confined in a cramped cupboard. But Harry didn't have that time. The wounds hadn't even scabbed over yet, and their smiles had forcibly torn them open again. —It was cruel.

"Harry."

"Maria..."

"It's okay. I'm right by your side."

"But, that can't be—right, this is a dream—? If so, then you too...? You actually—died back then—"

"Harry."

Ignoring the sudden silence from Dad and the others, I pulled the child-sized Harry into a hug.

"It's okay. You can check as many times as you need to."

"Maria."

It was a small back. Even though the real him was approaching twenty, this eleven-year-old back felt just right at this moment.

"Maria."

"Yeah. I'm right here."

"Maria."

"I'm alive."

"Maria."

"Harry."

The tension slowly left his rigid body. Relieved that Harry seemed to have finally calmed down, I looked up. Dad and Mom looked awkward, witnessing their son's highly unusual distress. Perhaps realizing they had been making merry while ignoring our bewilderment, Sirius and Professor Lupin had also fallen completely silent. —In the midst of that...

"Harry."

"...Peter."

The one who crouched down to our eye level and smiled with innocent warmth was Peter Pettigrew—the man who could be called our parents' mortal enemy.

"It must have been a sudden shock. To you, we're all strangers, so it must be scary being surrounded by people acting like they know you. And you can't even relax in a place like this. ...Can you come with us to Hogwarts?"

"......"

It was a strange feeling. Being smiled at so kindly by that Pettigrew, and even being offered a protective hand.

The student version of him showed none of the greed that would later obsess over a silver hand, nor the shallow darkness of a man who would sell out his friends. He seemed gentle. While he paled in comparison to Sirius or James, he wasn't ugly enough to be called repulsive. Even his distinct, protruding front teeth reminded me of how Hermione used to look, and to me, they almost seemed charming. I had spent so long looking away from him, but standing here now, I was forced to realize he wasn't so hideous as to warrant averting my eyes.

I quietly glanced at Harry in my arms. Harry was also dumbfounded by Pettigrew's demeanor. We were definitely thinking the exact same thing. After all, both he and I were Harry.

"I'm Peter Pettigrew. ...Um, I guess you don't recognize me, huh?"

"...No, I know you. Thank you, Peter. Shall we go, Harry?"

I held Harry's hand again. He squeezed it tightly. —This time, he seemed okay.

"Yes, Peter is right. Let's settle down somewhere properly before we talk. When I was dragged out to a place like this first thing in the morning, I didn't know what to do with you... but I suppose this means today's date was a treasure hunt, James?"

"Er, let's go with that. ...I'm lying, I'm sorry. The truth is, I found an herbology spot I thought you'd like."

"Harry, Maria, do you like hot cocoa? Or perhaps some tea with plenty of milk?"

"My wife is giving me the cold shoulder..."

The group of seven men and women began to move, escorting the two of us children in the center. Sirius was in the front, and next to him—or rather, trailing right behind him—was Pettigrew. James and Lily walked on either side of us, while Professor Lupin brought up the rear.

We were naturally swept up in their atmosphere. A few years seemed to have passed since the versions of them I had met before; between the more mature James and Lily, there were no traces of the hostile glaring matches of the past. Although Lily turned her face away haughtily at James's teasing, there was a childish affection there that made you want to smile just watching them. —Yes, I had inadvertently smiled.

James, who was faking pathetic sobs, peeked at me through the gaps in his fingers. His hazel eyes—the exact same shape as Maria's—shot me a deeply mischievous wink. It was the face of a prankster. ...Ah, yeah—this was definitely James.

"Since we're at it, why don't we get some piping hot Butterbeer? This handsome bloke right here will go sort it out with the kitchens for us. (Sirius looked startled at James's words. Even that expression looked remarkably good on him. Being good-looking pays off.) And then... Moony! It's time for your secret stash to shine!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Prongs."

"Oh, are you hoarding Honeydukes sweets again? Really, your nutrition is going to be horribly unbalanced."

"...I can never win when you say it, Lily."

The mood was softening. I heard Harry let out a small breath. We could see the pathway out of the forest.

"Still, that was brilliant, Peter. You might be even better suited for babysitting than Remus."

"Of course, Peter is much kinder than I am. Kids are bound to love him."

"No way! That's not true, I couldn't..."

"Yes, yes you could! That's a wonderful talent, Peter."

Tap. Someone patted my shoulder. It was James. In his hands was the familiar Invisibility Cloak.

"Just in case. It'd be a hassle if McGonagall or someone spotted us."

I nodded in agreement, and Harry and I draped the Cloak over ourselves. Suddenly, I remembered how we used to walk around the castle together under this cloak back when we were actually first-years.

Beneath the fabric, Harry and I exchanged a wordless glance. His thoughtful eyes, inherited from Lily, stared into mine. —What should we do? How much should we tell them? ...Should we just keep playing the part of children for now?

 Before long, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, we were led to the Room of Requirement. It seemed this place was thoroughly being used as the original Marauders' secret base. It really runs in the blood.

"Chop chop, Sirius and Remus, off you go on your errand. A welcome party for our cute guests has to be grand!"

"Easy for you to say."

"O-Oh, Sirius, I'll help too."

"Our king is quite the slave driver, even in front of his own children."

Leaving James and Lily behind, the other three exited the room. It was deliberate. And it was considerate. Once again, our parents looked straight at us.

"I'm sorry, Harry. I was just so happy to see you again that I got carried away. I didn't consider how you were feeling. —First, we should probably explain how we know about 'Harry'."

"Maria, will you listen too? ...Because you're our daughter, aren't you?"

Then, James and Lily spoke of the days of minor miracles and indulgence that had once vanished beyond a dream—no, the days I had let go of by my own will.

Even though Harry looked like an eleven-year-old child (in fact, due to malnutrition, it was questionable if he even looked ten), his mind was still that of an adult. He was in the exact same state as me, Maria.

I glanced sideways at the silent Harry. His expression showed he was managing to process the information. It wasn't for nothing that he'd spent his whole life constantly being dragged into life-threatening situations. Seeing Harry regain his composure, I relaxed my shoulders, deciding to leave all further judgment to my 'big brother.'

"—First of all, I'm happy to meet you. ...Dad, Mom."

"I'm so incredibly happy too! Right, James?"

"Of course I am! To be perfectly honest, I want to run through every house and classroom right now shouting about how adorable our kids are."

"Absolutely do not do that."

"Yes, ma'am."

Harry's shoulders shook with a chuckle at our parents' seamless comedic banter. —Thank goodness, he laughed. My relief seemed to transmit to our parents sitting across from us, as they too exchanged a glance and let out a sigh of relief.

"So, I suppose neither of you are actually the age you appear to be?"

"That's..."

"It's fine. It's hard to talk about, isn't it? Since it directly concerns the future. We aren't going to force you to tell us. No matter how old you truly are—you are still our precious children."

Gently, Lily—Mom—nestled close to Dad. It was an infinitely natural, expected, and beautiful sight.

It was what I had always wanted. What I had yearned for. The hope that had only ever existed in photographs—that had lived only in the memories of someone other than myself—was right in front of me.

It was unbearable—I bit my lip. It hurt. So, I took Harry's hand. This is a pain I can only share with you.

"You two are so close. Who is the older one? Or are you twins? Harry, and Maria... hehe, Maria, is it? I see—so it's 'Maria'. I wonder if I was the one who gave you that name."

"Yes, you were."

"Right. I thought so. ...I really do manage to forgive him, then."

Lily, having moved to sit next to me, softly wrapped her arms around Maria's body. Then, she whispered.

"You're the one—who helps Severus and I make up, aren't you?"

I nodded like it was a prayer. —Even though 'you' won't be there. Surely, someday, in the distant future.

A knock echoed at the perfect moment. It was Professor Lupin who poked his head in. His arms were overflowing with painfully brightly colored wrappers and bags. ...So he really was hoarding them. Behind him stood Sirius and Pettigrew, the latter carrying things with rather precarious hands.

"How goes the family bonding, Potters?"

"Perfectly! But it's a real shame. If we had the sweets you're holding and Sirius's Butterbeer right now, it would be even better."

"Yes, yes, your requested items have arrived."

As they were scattered across the table, my stomach gave a loud rumble. At the exact same time as Harry's.

"......"

"Oh, my! Well, you're both growing kids, so it can't be helped. But you can't just eat sweets. You have to eat a proper lunch and dinner, too. That's a promise with your mother."

"Lily... you're going to make the best wife."

"Obviously. I am your... wife, after all."

"Lily...!"

"Don't get full before the party even starts, you two. The kids are watching. Come on, Harry, budge up."

Because Sirius forcefully squeezed his way onto the long sofa where we were sitting, a sandwiched Harry let out a pitiful squawk.

"Maria, switch with me."

"Why should I?"

"......"

"...I suppose it can't be helped. My little brother is so helpless."

"I'm the older brother. Are you seriously planning on continuing this pointless debate for the rest of our lives?"

"I intend to, yeah."

"...I suppose it can't be helped. My little sister is so stubborn."

"It really can't be helped. Your big sister is just like that."

I eased the tension with our usual, familiar banter. —I know. Even though just the existence of Dad and Mom was enough to completely fry our brains, the warmth of Sirius, Lupin, and Pettigrew was too raw, too real. Acting as your shield is the least I can do.

"......"

"James?"

Suddenly, Sirius raised his voice in bewilderment. Because I had switched places with Harry, Dad was now sitting directly in front of me, furrowing his brow in deep, serious thought.

"Jamie? What's wrong?"

"This isn't sitting right with me."

"What isn't?"

"My daughter is a girl, so why is she wearing a boy's uniform?"

"......"

Ah... it's been a while since I've been asked that sort of question. Harry nudged me in the ribs from the side, giving me an 'I told you so' look.

"Don't mind this about Maria. It's an identity thing. She absolutely hates being treated like a girl."

"I'm not a girl, so naturally."

"What a waste! You're a cute girl no matter how you look at it! You're a beauty just like Lily, and a rascal just like me."

"James. That's not it. In their time, concepts like 'acting like a girl' or 'acting like a boy' have probably become obsolete. ...Though it is a bit of a shame."

Seeing Lily visibly drop her shoulders just as her words suggested, I tilted my head. Hmm?

"If I ever had a daughter, I always planned to buy her lots of lovely clothes and enjoy dressing up together."

"Ah, that's the kind of thing Maria hates most."

"Shut up. It's not like you have any room to talk, Harry."

Venting my mild frustration, I grabbed a nearby gummy. Tearing it in half, I shoved a piece into Harry's mouth. When it came to fashion sense, the two of us were a matched set from birth. In a bad way, of course.

As the spontaneous feast began, Professor Lupin laughed while licking a foam mustache of Butterbeer off his upper lip. Next to him, Sirius was obnoxiously teasing us with a "Whew~," and Pettigrew was scurrying about like a mouse, fussing over someone's empty glass or the piling rubbish. Lily, Butterbeer in hand, was still staring at me with lingering regret. And James—James was just watching everything from a slight distance, a gentle smile on his face, not even joining in the conversation.

It was an incredibly fatherly expression. The mischievous, disappointing delinquent I had once seen in that person's memories—and later confirmed with my own eyes—was nowhere to be found.

So this is what he looks like as a parent... such a calm, quiet face.

"Well now, Lily. It's about time. It's a shame to leave, but you and I have to head to the Great Hall."

"Ah, assisting with the Apparition training, was it?"

"Yeah, that. When they say it's a job for the top students, you can't exactly refuse. There goes our weekend. Good-natured James Potter gets conveniently used like this. All because I'm just too exceptional... it's a tragedy."

"Keep telling yourself that."

His friends took turns patting James on the shoulder in encouragement. Finally, James stood up, walked around to face Lily, and dropped to one knee.

"Your hand, my lady."

"...You may proceed."

The sight of my mother, shyly playing along with the joke, and my father, playing the clown, suited each other perfectly. ...So perfectly that it made me want to tear at my own chest and then burst into deep, belly laughter.

Our parents left the room. With James—the mood maker—gone, Sirius, seemingly feeling awkward, and Pettigrew, his lackey (and he clung to him enough to deserve the title), also left, mugs in hand. Left all alone with us, Professor Lupin scratched his scarred cheek and let out a thoughtful hmm.

"Frankly speaking—it would probably be best if I wasn't here, either."

"That's not—"

"It's all right. You don't have to worry about my feelings. ...Any more of this, and I'd just feel too sorry for Harry."

He is such a perceptive person. Truly, from the bottom of my heart.

"...Right. Okay, let's do this."

Nodding to himself, Professor Lupin smiled with an amused expression that rivaled James's.

"I'm planning to bring you both lunch soon. —But, despite appearances, I actually hold this little extra title called 'Prefect'. Unfortunately, I might get roped into some chores by someone, and it just might take a little bit of time before I can make it back. Let's see... maybe just enough time that lunch turns into dinner—would that be leaving you alone for too long?"

"......"

Harry and I couldn't help but exchange a look. It was almost funny how perfectly he seemed to see right through our situation. What a guy!

"...No objections, it seems. Well then, you two take your time and collect yourselves here."

"Professor Lupin..."

His gentle smile disappeared behind the door. The moment the door clicked shut, the sounds of the castle faded away. The lingering energy of the party instantly dispersed. At last, it was just Harry and me, shut away in the Room of Requirement.

"Maria."

"Harry."

Harry was trembling. It was as if a vital string inside of him had suddenly snapped. His voice sounded somewhat hollow.

"What am I supposed to do?"

Taking Harry into my arms, I rubbed his back. He was so small. To think that they had dumped something as precarious as the fate of the world onto such a small back. —Onto you, and me both.

"Whatever you think is best."

—Whatever Harry chooses, I, Maria, will be here to see it through.