Chapter 168: 7-3
Just before dawn, the Battle entered a temporary truce. One hour—a reprieve of just a single hour. During that time, Voldemort demanded that Harry come to the Forbidden Forest himself.
As I laid Snape onto a makeshift bed I had somehow prepared, I listened to that voice from afar.
"Hedwig, will you watch over him? ...Thank you. Fawkes, too—thank you. If you'd like, you can stay—no, our promise was just for this one time. You are free."
The bird of fire perched on my shoulder, nuzzling my cheek with its crest, before taking flight. He would never return to Hogwarts again—somehow, I understood that instinctively.
After checking Snape's breathing one last time, I returned to Hogwarts Castle. The Great Hall was freezing. The voices were cold. The body temperatures were cold. Farewells to friends, to family, and to lovers were taking place there. ───People were dead.
"...George."
"Maria."
I looked down at George kneeling beside Fred, who lay still. Fred was... Fred was—?
"...Is he, by any chance, alive?"
"Yeah—yeah! Of course Fred’s alive. He hasn't woken up, but—he's alive! All my brothers are alive!"
I touched the face identical to George's, which didn't open its eyes despite all the commotion. It was cold. But not the coldness of the dead. —Fred was alive!
"How..."
"Fred got carried away. We took down some Death Eaters, and he was like, 'We can do this'—he charged headlong into a suicide attack and nearly died. Curses I'd never even heard of and the Killing Curse came flying at us. And then──Mad-Eye saved us."
"────"
I looked around just a little—and found him. Mad-Eye’s body lay beside Professor Lupin’s. And right next to them...
"Why... her... wasn't she supposed to be with Andromeda—"
"...Ginny and Luna went out there. So it seems she followed Lupin to join the battle in their place."
"How could this happen... They have a child! Little Teddy is waiting! Again... both of them, together like this!"
Unable to bear it, I raised my voice at the three silent figures sleeping side by side. My angry shout echoed through the bleak Hall. It was Bill who restrained me as my shoulders heaved with intense emotion.
"All three of them were brave. They fought bravely to the end."
"Brave... Are you saying it's all just an honorable, brave death? Are you telling me we should clap our hands and praise them?"
"No... Tell them they were absolute bloody fools."
I clenched my fists and hugged myself. Tears spilled over. With just these two small, skinny arms, saving every single life was utterly impossible. I knew that. I already knew that. And yet, helpless as I was—
I had already realized that this outcome was the right shape of things.
"...Where's Harry?"
"Now that you mention it, I haven't seen him... Don't tell me?"
"I'll go look for him."
"Maria!"
I shook off Bill's arm and George's gaze and started walking. I knew where Harry was.
He must know by now. ──That the time had come. That the inevitable moment had arrived.
"Maria."
It happened just as I reached the edge of the forest. The voice was filled with anger.
Anthony Goldstein stood there, the comical smile he always wore completely wiped from his face.
"Why are you going?"
"Because I have to."
"The one being summoned is Harry Potter. You're not Harry."
"............"
"Maria."
I turned around and faced him directly. His eyes were so sincere, reflecting a dazzling, innocent devotion. —What a burden Maria had received from him. How cruel. A feeling like love... was something I could never possibly return.
"Even so, I have to go."
"...So it's useless to try and stop you?"
"I'm sure it is."
"Even for Malfoy?"
"Without a doubt."
Anthony quietly lowered his wand. He smiled—with a face that looked as though he would break down crying the very next second.
"I'm helpless... I wanted to scream at you. That was my plan. I wanted to drag you away by force—and yet, it seems I can't help loving even this version of you, walking straight toward death."
"Anthony..."
"Could you give me your answer? One more time."
One step. I planted my foot. No deception was allowed. I couldn't look away. Face him, swallow it down—if I'm going to betray him anyway, I should be cruel until the very end.
"I like you, Anthony. But not in the way you feel for me."
"I see."
"It's not that you aren't charming. You're actually wonderful. Having you by my side as a friend was truly amazing, and you were such a good person. I really do like you, and I enjoyed our time together. It’s just... my heart already belonged to 'her' long ago."
"...Her?"
And so, I tell him. A grand secret. A grave mistake. Someone out there had called it a curse, and someone else had called it a way of life.
"As a man—I love Ginny Weasley."
Anthony's clear, honest eyes widened.
"I have never once thought of myself as a woman. All this time—I have lived as a man."
It was a silence that felt like eternity. Anthony stared at me intently, looked down, took a breath, looked at his own hands, and then—his face softened with liberation.
It was bitter, pained—yet a smile that seemed to spill directly from the bottom of his heart.
"I see... so that's it──Did Malfoy know you were a man?"
"From the very beginning. From the moment I realized who I truly was."
"I see... I see."
His face crumpled, twisting. He was smiling—no, he was crying.
"Well, I can't compete with that."
I turned my back. I had to move forward. I had to leave him behind. So that Maria Potter in his memories would remain an utterly cruel existence forevermore.
"Hey, Maria... even so, can my love at least serve as a parting gift for your journey to the afterlife?"
I didn't answer. —All of you is far too good for me.
"...And? Are you next? —Draco."
I stopped walking. Come to think of it, we were always ambushing or being ambushed by each other. To teach the other a lesson, of course.
"Harry."
Draco stepped out, looking appropriately shabby after having rushed through the fires of war. His clothes were frayed in places, stained with blood all over. There was a bruise on his handsome face, his hair disheveled, with what looked like singed edges. Perhaps letting it grow down to his back had backfired on him. ...What a pity; your hair was always as beautiful as light.
"Harry, are you going to die?"
The man asked. The same voice as that day. The same eyes as that day. The same—you.
I really am no good at dealing with your tears.
"Shall we check our answers, Malfoy? —What exactly is this world?"
I stepped closer. Draco didn't run. Even though he was a coward. Even though he did something incredibly despicable.
I wished he would just cry and run away. Then I wouldn't have to look at him anymore.
"That was the gentlest Killing Curse I've ever heard."
I took his hand. My wand was there.
I knew the tip of the wand he aimed at me. I knew its green light. —Because...
"You were the one who killed 'me', wasn't it... Draco Malfoy?"
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