Volume 2- Chapter 14

Chapter 14

~~~~Tai Su~~~~

Living among foreigners is never easy. It’s not the fact that they look differently, nor is it the fact that occasionally they’ll speak in another language I have no hope of understanding.

Things are done differently here, people do not work the same as back home, the standards are different, the food is different and even what constitutes as hard work and a sleeping schedule are different.

The wolves are asleep now despite it not being midnight, even if it’s close. Only the night guards are awake, the twelve individuals being split in four groups, each standing near a distant fire.

I walked through the darkness of the camp and gave the closest group a wave, before continuing towards my quarry. We’ve been here for three days and Ya Xue has made a habit of gazing at the moon from the eating area.

“The stars are strange are they not? I’ve never seen any until I left home.” She said when I was but a few steps away from her.

I silently sat near her on the large rock smoothed out over centuries of use. It was so smoothed out, it even had something resembling seats that looked almost melted in. Once I was sitting down I proceeded to look at the sky as well.

The stars here were almost the same as those back home, that is to say mostly absent, only instead of the rare stars that appeared and disappeared depending on the day, the only stars visible were arranged in a loose spiral stretching across most of the visible sky. The wolves called it the Lash and said it’s there to remind the night guards to not take the lack of light as a reason to be lazy.

The explanation was probably wrong, but I decided it was so hilarious I have to tell Bao about it. She might actually believe it.

“Yes, I sometimes wonder what they are made of that allows them to shine eternally.” I replied.

The stars in my past life were made out of the lightest of gases and could burn brightly for millions of years, the sun itself just one other across the cosmos.

I’m not sure that’s how things work here though. According to what Elder Shen Xifeng told me, it was known that this world used to be a part of another, a Great World that Shattered for some unknown reason and all of the humans of our world are just the descendants of that event.

“I wonder if the wolves have a name for each of them, they have a name for the world you know? Sao Tieu Ngoc, they called it and it translated to Little Gem World.” She said, her tone filled with a slight melancholy.

“I was never able to find a name for the world in our own language, so I suppose it’s as good a name as any.” I replied with a shrug.

I was curious about it when I was twelve I think? I was twelve or thirteen back then, I remember Bao freaking out about bleeding out of nowhere and me consoling her once she learned she’ll have to bother with it for most of her life. Our conversation eventually reached the question of a name, and I asked her if the world has a name and she was confused about why it should, as it’s not like we have more of them.

I accepted the answer, but later asked my parents about it too. They told me the same and after that I stopped bothering with finding an answer. It’s not like the name of the world is that important.

“In the Domain of Emperor Ming, they call it Yu Jie, but the scholars whose works I read derided the practice, as one gives names to differentiate between individuals and concepts, and it’s not like there’s any other world around to compare our own to.” She answered my unspoken question.

Jade World? I supposed that’s as good a name as any.

“What do you think about it?” I asked her.

I couldn’t see her, my eyes were glue to the stars, but I could tell from her voice that she was dismissive of the question.

“Either name is fine I guess. I think the wolves’ name is cuter though.” She answered.

That was not what I asked her, even if I agreed. Little Gem World is a cuter name than Jade World, albeit I doubt cuteness is a leading consideration when deciding on a planet's name. It's still better than calling it earth at least.

“I meant about the practice of naming the world.” I clarified.

She turned pensive and started to hum.

“Huh, I think this is the first time I was asked that question. I remember the long learning sessions, the discussion on how to describe the opinion of scholars on the topic, but I never asked or was asked on what I think of it.” She mused.

Some things transcend reality it seems. Scholarly work pretends to be about finding the right answer, and yet all it ends up as is regurgitating the same answer as someone else did decades if not centuries ago, just done a bit differently to not seem like plagiarism. Honestly, I am not sure the scholars here even considered that a bad thing, plagiarism that is. There is only one right opinion after all, so once the consensus is reached just repeating it would be a perfectly valid response.

It would explain their incompetence at least, I’ve read enough scholarly works when helping teacher refine my observations into something the smooth brains could comprehend and them never having an opinion others hadn't given them would explain why they were so bad at their jobs.

“It’s important to have your own opinions on things, otherwise it won’t be your hands that act, but the hands of someone else that you are forced to watch as they live your life for you.” I told her.

She chuckled.

“Pretty sure I read that somewhere too, even if I’ve never seen it expected of me. But still, names, that’s such a silly thing to have an opinion on.” She replied, her tone somewhat condescending.

I laughed softly, yes it was a silly thing to think about, but it was important still to think about.

“You need some silliness in your life, otherwise your life will turn miserable.” I said.

I then turned to her and noticed she had been looking at me for some time.

“What silliness do you think about then? The color white? Why is grass green or other nonsense?” She asked teasingly.

I could feel she was joking around, even if I wasn't, but that was fine. Just because you're having fun doesn't meant that what you're talking about isn't important, it simply means that it's engaging.

“I'm thinking about number ten.” I replied proudly.

She tilted her head in confusion, even as she continued to smile fondly.

“Number ten?" She asked, her tone amused.

She was trying her best to hold back a giggle and I can't have that can I?

I nodded.

“Yes, ten is the most perfect number, and the ideal numbering system. It is intuitive and is so easy to learn by using one’s hands anyone can learn it, which naturally makes it superior to any other type of pretentious number systems that try to be smart. Everyone knows that the more numbers you have the better, and the more people can learn a number system, the better the system!” I declared proudly.

The woman started giggling the more I spoke until eventually she was doing her best to hide her laugh behind her palm.

“You laugh now Ya Xue, but Number Ten’s conquest of the world is inevitable, and the first to bow down to it’s might will hold the Power of Bureaucracy in their hands for all eternity! We wouldn't have had ten fingers if number ten wasn't superior to all others!” I continued.

The woman stopped trying to hold down her laughter, and for what was probably the first time in some time laughed freely.

“Stop, stop oh Dark Emperor of Pen and Paper, I cannot take it anymore.” The woman said through shallow breaths and laughter.

“See, life is always better with some silliness. One day we’ll laugh at each other’s silliness and remember all our embarrassing moment fondly, so what does it matter if we’re silly sometimes. I certainly don’t hold your own silly moments against you.” I replied jovially.

The woman looked affronted at my words, her body language becoming almost wild and exaggerated as she mimicked outrage.

“Me? Name when I was ever silly! I am exemplar I tell you, an exemplar of seriousness and dignity!” She demanded of me, her voice a mix of annoyed and teasing.

I hummed… should I try to breach the topic now? It’s not like I had a better chance than now.

“I don’t know, you certainly try to be prim and proper, but I’ve never heard of such a silly think like a woman scared of physical closeness.” I teased.

My tone may have been teasing, but my eyes were just as serious and during training, but I doubt it was my eyes that caused her to freeze up.

She brought her knees to her chest and hugged them and mumbled something I couldn’t her into them.

“I can’t hear that.” I replied teasingly.

“It’s not silly.” She repeated.

I sighed, all traces of mirth gone. I didn’t mean to mock her, but it seemed she took it as such. I looked back to the stars. They were the same as before, what few of them there were, and shined with pale light.

“I am not mocking you Ya Xue, but I genuinely find the entire situation silly, even if the only amusing parts of it are Bao’s reactions to it. She is quite cute when she’s worried and focused on a task.” I assured her.

“It’s not silly.” She repeated almost petulantly.

I sighed, why can't thing ever be easy?

“How else do you call it when someone is scared of something as normal as sharing a bath with a friend? You know that neither of us cares for whatever is it that you are worried over. We won’t look down on you for silly things like sex, you think we were any good at it? If you were to find a courtesan from the capital I doubt they’d be able to find a difference between our skill levels.” I replied.

“None of you are so bad at it you lost your family from it.” She said bluntly.

I winced at the tone and words. Those weren't the tone she had before.

Her tone turned from carefree and happy, to troubled and miserable, and even if I wanted to have this conversation now, that didn't mean that I wanted her to be this miserable due to it.

“Could you explain to me exactly what happened then, before we met that is? I got bits and pieces of it, but I still don’t understand exactly what went on.” I asked her.

I was told pieces from Bao, Ya Xue and Mei Lin, each bringing details the other didn't share which let me to believe that I didn't have the full story. Even if I did I doubted she was at fault like she seemed to think regardless.

It was her turn to sigh then.

“Fine, my motherless bastard of a former husband Lu was a womanizer. Our families wished for us to marry and when we were young we were friends. Our mothers had political aspirations and father did not reign in mother’s impulses and agreed to arrange for our marriage with his father. What happened is that the idiot’s mother died trying to give birth to a daughter, and he started sleeping with any woman he could do so with to feel better.

I tried to get him to stop and not let himself go like that and eventually decided to try and sleep with him, because if he wants to have sex, then the least he could do is do it with his wife-to-be. He just went to sleep with another woman the next day and I was too ashamed to just do it again soon. A week later I tried again and the same result, only for another woman I’ve never seen before to come, say she got pregnant and that it was his child and the next day I no longer had a betrothal.” She explained.

I winced. That’s a bad situation all around.

“I doubt you could have stopped the pregnancy from happening, you had what, a week to work with?” I asked her.

Yes the situation was bad, but I doubt she could have done much more in that situation. Maybe if she was more decisive early on, she might have been able to change things. A week is hardly enough to know you got pregnant, that must have gone on for months at the very least, for it to result in visible sings of pregnancy.

She snorted at my words.

“I would have been able to at least get him to stay. Years of knowing each other, family dinners, private moments and having each other’s backs during training, all of that given away for the first floozy to have his seed take. If I would have been able to make him stay with me, he would not have accepted the woman and stayed with me.” She answered.

“But she was pregnant?” I asked as I turned towards her.

She was still hugging her knees and looking forward.

From what I knew contraceptives existed, but aborting children? That wasn’t done in the Empire. In Seventh Yellow Hill Town any courtesan that got pregnant had to leave the pregnancy go to term and either get married to the man that got her pregnant if she wasn’t a concubine, raise it herself and abandon her profession or leave the child to someone else.

The man could only refuse the marriage if he was already married with children too, which is why contraceptives such as blood tea were available. If a man were to leave a woman pregnant and not marry her if she decided to keep it he’d get beaten, even if she was a courtesan.

Ya Xue huffed.

“I don’t know how you do things in the south, but men can say no to the first woman coming and claiming they got pregnant with their children. It’s pretty difficult to prove it’s the man’s after all and if the woman doesn’t take the hint, the bannermen are perfectly happy to remind civilians not letting their men and women alone that civilians are civilians, and they are bannermen.” She explained.

I winced. The Cherry Tree Bannermen weren’t the Lemon Tree Bannermen, I keep forgetting this, but it’s always strange to be reminded of it.

A few years ago one of my uncles in it in town became the talk of the town and the surrounding when he got a courtesan pregnant. The man was an avowed bachelor and always ensure he wouldn’t get a woman pregnant, but something happened and he got his favorite lay pregnant. Father and I were among the men that came and politely congratulated him on his marriage and the man got the message quite fast.

I couldn't imagine just going to the woman and telling her to leave or get beaten.

“I am not inviting you to my bed, we both know I can’t ask you that, but Bao misses the skinship and your shared baths. Nobody will abandon you for being physically close, nor do we have anyone to replace you with even if we were so inclined. We took you in because you were willing to have our backs during the trials, it doesn’t matter how bad you are in the bedroom, Bao won’t think any less of you for it.” I assured her.

“I don’t want to risk it.” She said bluntly.

“You already are.” I informed her.

She turned he head towards me in a silent demand for me to explain.

“Bao’s emotions are physical. If she loves, she will show it with her body, if she hates and the target of her hate is there, she will show it. She needs to be physical to be comfortable in her love, and if you refuse to return it, then she’ll eventually stop offering it.” I explained.

Her hands started clenching her robes, even as her face remained impassive.

“I am not asking you to sup from her flower or play among each other's mountains, just be more accepting of her offers when she wants to bathe together and return her hugs without the stiffness. Once you feel relaxed enough to go further you will, we won’t try to push you, but if you want to be a part of this family, then you need to try to accept the fact that sometimes you will need to go out of your comfort zone to enter that of others .” I continued.

“I’ll… I’ll think about it.” She replied meekly.

I nodded at that as I could see that she meant it, and a victory is a victory no matter how small.

“I will let you think about it then and won’t be speaking about it until we’re back home. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go sleep.” I told her and rose up to go to sleep.

Today I finished questioning the reincarnator and Mei Lin and I transcribed his techniques on paper. Others will have to practice then and test out the meridian burning one. We’ve finished our duties in this settlement and tomorrow we’ll be taking our goodbyes from the Xie and heading back home.

It was a productive mission all things considering, even if I’ll probably burn an incense stick or six to pray to whatever might be listening that if I ever am reincarnated again I am never reborn in the Endless Plains Sect or anything living on the same world as it.

“Good night Ya Xue, please don’t stay up too long, tomorrow we’re leaving and we’ll need to be wide awake in case we will be ambushed by whatever abominations live in the forest.” I told her and with that I was off to sleep.

“Good night Tai Su, I won’t stay up much longer, I think I already have the answer I need.” Were her parting words.

I snorted, of course she did. Both of us knew that she was just being silly.