Chapter 45:

Chapter 45: A break behind the curtains is most welcome if one survives it.



The screams continue but they are lesser than before, as trillions have died and their souls burned and crystallized into the Tears of Isha and now they flood my world which my husband has promised me as gift for our marriage.

It took him years to give me a scorched rock filled with garbage, but it is my scorched rock and I do so love a challenge I can tackle, especially when the scorch is irrelevant as the waters will cover it up and my people build their cities over it, for a scorched rock is but a blank canvas I can paint over and while the Divine did make requests on what they wished of it, it is still my mind and my body that will decide how the painting I make for myself will look.

A sweet song and a blank canvas and the painting tools I need to make the painting I did not even realize I wished to paint were my gifts from my husband and while some might say they were quite piddly gifts I will butcher whoever says so to my face, for my husband is young and his gifts mightier than any riches, for he made them himself and the heart and love he put in them make them worth more than any gems and riches ever could. I can get myself gems easily enough, but I cannot buy the love my husband holds for me and his gifts are just that, symbols of his love for me and that he will leave me as the gods make demands of my priestly husband to serve them in ritual and song and I weep for my husband will not be able to stay with me and raise our children.

Priests gather in the meeting room I stand in and none come the same way.

One man comes out of the ground as he swims through rock and stone and leaves no trace of it as he leaves it. Another comes out of the walls, a woman was always there but I did not see her and a madman actually opens the door and walks in as more and more priests gather each with their own unique way of entering be it from the roof, or just appearing between blinks, coming out of puddles or from behind dark corners I cannot see.

A great conclave has been called by my husband, for the priests of the god I now hold most dear gather in my home now that my husband has finished the last play he made for the divine and with which he has stolen my heart and made my family happy again, for it ended with myself and my sister-wife holding two more bundles of joy in our arms and with the marriage of my eldest daughter to his apprentice who did not wish to get married at first.

He is the most foolish of fools, for the only one that would not plot his marriage was his master which he asked not to. His family and that of his now blushing bride, the servants of both and even the Divine plotted for it and he could not out-scheme the divine, for that is the duty of priests as they need to out-scheme the divine to deceive them and create art that they did not anticipate and thus can rejoice in seeing beauty they in their long lives had not seen before. He was taught to think like the divine wish the actors would think and act, not how to trick them.

The garbage my husband will take with him, for he sees himself as a connoisseur of recycling and he knows some he can scam that have use of it and it is a strange thing to have a need of things whose only use is as a temporary house for souls, but I trust my husband and his siblings and eagerly await to hear of his exploit in scamming whatever suckers think a soul stone is actually useful.

Souls already have a home in their body, so why would anyone think they need a pitiful house near it is beyond me, as it's not like you can use them to recreate your body and it prevents you from making yourself a new home for your soul to rest in.

"Change!" The voice of the triplet brothers and sister of my lord-husband cut through the gathering of priests, some of which are their seniors.

Four of them looked down in shame and I laughed as they changed their forms from that of Eldar to that of Sirens, and I laughed for they were some of my people and I remembered that my husband told me some of my people are his peers.

"We apologize for the insult Wise Queen, for our Older Brother which is to Host this conclave has left strict instructions to his peers and their subordinates and family that gathers here on how they should dress and that they should come only as themselves. We ask of you to not punish them for it too harshly, for we doubt they would have broken the dress code if they knew of it." Guraith, the oldest of the triplets said as he and his siblings knelt on the floor and bowed as deeply as they could.

I looked at them with mischief in my soul and heart as I thought of an appropriate punishment for fools which broke the dress code I was not aware of before they told me of it.

"Rest easy, siblings of my husbands and rise for I know of what punishment to levy on them and it is a light one that fits the crime they have committed." I said as I noticed the four fools have also coiled down and bowed and awaited for their punishment.

I looked over them as they cutely awaited to be punished like disobedient children for that is what they were.

"The four of you have come as who you are not when you should have known to come here dressed as you should be and as such your punishment is to only dress as yourselves until you die." I offered kindly.

It was a light punishment for insulting me and my husband and they thanked me in song for being lenient before but I needed time to mourn.

None of those I punished were women which meant that my Godmother is dead as she would not miss this event as she is a Time Walker and they can always make more time for themselves to see to family. I hid this from those gathered as it is not for them to know and I was a guest here to watch the proceedings and it would not do to interrupt.

I could hear the cheers of the Vassals of my Lord-Husband, and they cheer for they have learned of his trickery and that he is not dead but alive and they cheer to see their master alive and all Siren and Eldar could hear their unfocused joy as they tried to bury my husband in gifts and well-wishes.

He will be among us soon as he leaves the stage he has made for himself and goes behind the curtain to talk with his peers. I eagerly await to see him again for it has been too long since I saw him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We continued to give the stink eye to the fools which insulted us, our brother and his queen-wife with their behavior. It's even worse when one of them is one of our descendants and another that of our brother and both have not been born yet and we had to save their skins and make sure they are punished before our brother finds them, for brother has no mercy in his soul and if he finds his own children spitting in the face of their mother or aunt his punishment of them will be harsh.

Bessar accepts and overlooks a lot, he does not tolerate his own family insulting each other once they are family and his lightest punishment is to have you beaten up to an inch of your life as he ordered his first Apprentice to accept before receiving whatever punishment his own family had for him.

He made a strict dress code yes, but he also told each and every single one of his family members that in their own home they are to be who they are the most comfortable as, after one of his wives was forced to become a woman when before she was a man. The fact that both his descendants and mine acted as if they were not family would not have earned them the slap on the wrist his queen-wife gave them but an actually serious punishment so it was better to handle it before he reached us.

We could recognize our descendants and his easily and knew we were in a hurry to fix things before our brother got very mad.

Our own had the same multicolored eyes we did when we could still think as individuals and the others held the same kindness for Eldar and Sirens his did and if they thought their disguise would fool him or us they were mistaken. Our brother will pretend he does not see them as he pretends and tricks himself he does not see and hear much but he can and will make his displeasure known.

None of us said or sang anything about it, for if we did then the Queen would have to hear it, for she is queen and thus entitled to hear all that we say and sing in her presence for she is peer to the Divine and entitled to see and hear all that we say and sing, but not what we think, for she and the Divine are the ones to whom the shows and plays and art that all Eldar make are made to be seen for their favor, and if one acts in front of them then they can and will see them but we can still keep secrets from them if we so wish, we simply need not speak them out loud or sing them, for they can and will hear them if they care to and there are few circumstances when one can get away with not doing so.

Priests and Princes have the easiest time to do so, we simply need to speak during our breaks from our shows and when neither Divine nor Royalty is there to see us, the others need to speak in double-speak or code in which their words has multiple meanings and they can choose which is meant for onlookers and which is meant for each other. We also hid this from the Queen, for to hide things from those we made plays and art for is so instinctive even here we do so and we could see from everyone in this room that they all thought the same as none spoke.

All Followers of Hoeth that would come have come, and so we started to move from the side of the throne-cushion of the queen and walked forward towards the table our peers stood at and we started to bring the food and refreshments from the tables on the other side of the wide room.

Twelve of others could reach this world, five Older Brothers and seven Younger Brothers and no nephews for this is not for them to see. It is a pity Cegorach could not come, but he is Divine and thus could not be invited during our break. He will send him a transcript either way and will answer his questions when we receive them, for while he is Divine he is also an actor like us and until his father is back and he is reborn he will continue to be so.

The meals were simple things, mostly fruit with little meal or overly prepared things. The only thing that required some preparation was the bread, which we made because our brother says it goes well with meat and cheese, but we do not have cheese, as no animal on this world produces any milk in sufficient quantities or if they did it was not something we can digest as it is too poisonous for us.

"Thank you Guraith, I hear that my husband is close and he is in a good mood." Our brother's wife said as she thanked us.

Our brother entered the room by the door a few heartbeats after we finished giving his wife her own plate.

He was not pleased and he was not pleased at us and we dared not look at the woman who tricked us, for our brother was looking at us.

'He knows.' We thought with a grimace.

"I have told the three of you before and I will tell you again, I do not care for your trickery and secrets, but I will not stand as the three of you think it's normal to sacrifice yourselves to save me!" Our brother all but shouted at us for he was very annoyed with us and not at all in a good mood.

We were very ashamed of ourselves and apologized in song to all of those present to hear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A half corpse that faced Divine Wrath, months of starvation and which was covered in bandages and could barely walk had just scolded triplets which have spent the last months away from any sort of danger and had stood under guards and away from anything that could harm them because they were reckless and tried to sacrifice themselves to save him.

It made absolutely no sense and I realized that my husband had prepared a bit of trickery for me to try and make sense of, for he loved me and he wished to apologize that he could not show me his entire play. I forgave him, for his presents were lovely and because I could sense his love for me.

The other priests that have gathered looked reproachfully at the three that were scolded but they remained silent as an older brother scolded his three younger ones and they apologized sincerely.

"My beautiful wife, I apologize for being tardy, but the Divine are quite demanding of me and my servants insistent that I provide guidance to them after being dead for so long." My husband said between rasps and bowed and I regretted my sister-wife could not be here as well.

She would have adored the small show, but unfortunately she is busy and could not come.

"I have missed you my husband, please tell me, did the Divine adore your work even half as much as I adore you?" I asked coyly.

I saw part of it, and I could see that they were hooked but I could not see all of it.

My husband's tired features jumped to life about hearing of my love for him and I could see a jump in his step as he slowly walked towards me. The only part of him that was not in some way or form damaged or looking like they came from the dead were his white blouse and loose shirt and a pair of cobalt blue glasses his Skin Walker vassal gave him to protect his eyes.

"They did my love, and as always they put more demands on their poor servant." He rasped as he jumped to kiss me.

I caught him and he kissed me deeply but I did not coil around him.

I felt him with my song and gift and half corpse did not fit him. Three quarter corpse would be more fitting. His muscles atrophied, his bones are thinner than they should be, there's barely any life left in what organs are left and I am unsure as to how the heart still beats from how little liquid it has to pump, but my husband still walked and paid no heed to the fact he had come back from almost death.

'Do not even think of complaining my love, I can see that you can barely move. Let me carry you to you seat during our kiss before your body gives up on life.' I sang to him as our souls became one.

'I won't my beloved and thank you for it, I think that jump broke one of my bones.' My foolish husband said.

Priests are always too dramatic and go too far to please their crowds. I could hear his current crowd cheering and jeering at his performance as he jumped in the arms of his beloved and was carried by her. They even called him a lazy layabout that spent the last months resting in a comfortable bed while they worked and that the Divine shouldn't have given him a blessing for pretending to be dead.

All of it was done in good cheer as they spoke something with their words and looked over him and asked if he is alright in their song. My husband assured them that he'll live in song but his mouth was too busy to speak and respond to the jeers and cheers.

I carried him to his seat at the circular table and put him down there as our kiss finished. His seat was the one that looked straight at my throne and he stood between his three siblings with Aesan and Guraith to his left and right side and Marsa to Guraith's right.

Guraith immediately gave him some water from a large pitcher and my husband drank it all as his brother Aesan tried to heal what he could. I made sure to be as slow as I could to return to my throne to allow Aesan to heal my husband as much as he could.

Once I coiled on it the ritual would start and we would be fully separated from the Divine for a short period of time and if they did anything but 'take a break then the Divine would know and if they knew so would Slaanesh.

It took me four times as much to return to my seat than to all but run with my husband to a healer but such was fine and I was in no rush for I could feel my husband telling his fellow priests to not look at how I swayed my body.

None of them did look even as they all pretended they were enraptured by it to mess with him.

The family of my husband is very pleasant to be around.

I coiled on my throne-cushion and took my role as queen as the priests did for me a private show to enjoy away from the Divine for the priests of Hoeth never rest, for their plays never end until they fully die and quit their workplace, for Cegorach and Hoeth are the same and they do not allow for breaks as you will work until you die and your rewards for success is another life of work if you liked it or retirement in a life of luxury and love if you disappointed them.

The best thing they could get that would be close to rest is small private shows that serve as recaps to get those which had just started watching a play to get up to speed with what they have missed and to which only Royalty and the Divine can watch and as I am the only Royalty left in the Empire of Ten Million Suns that is friendly to the Damned, in front of me is the only place where they could come the closest to actual rest.

I pity them, and all who know of what Eldar are and what the Damned are pity them as well, for they work tirelessly for those that cannot fully appreciate their art and the emotions behind it, for the one who had taught them their art form is dead and they have to call his corpse brother.

"I welcome you brothers and sisters, be you Younger and Older, I have gathered you here tonight so that we may greet and provide the proper respect to our newest Patron, Queen Sian Ceasanna, my wife which I named and crowned as such, which has asked of me to provide a private recap of my exploits and I have decided to have each of you be present for it, then as a reward for her patronage to have her hear of our preparations for our next show to serve as a teaser for what we have planned. Considering she is our only Mortal Patron left, I have decided that she deserves such consideration." My husband said and I could feel the gaze of the Divine which had been pretending not to be able to see us finally disappear.

The Followers of Hoeth once again were beyond the sight of the Divine be they old or new.

His voice was once again healthy and I could feel everyone in the room breath easily again, for they are not comfortable existing under the baleful eye of Slaanesh even as they pretend she is not pretending to not be watching.

The first eldar man to have entered the room spoke as the rest were silent.

"I believe I speak for all of us when I say that we agree to it, brother Bessar Agail and welcome it." He said as he forced his eyes to stay open.

I could feel everyone slump their shoulders as soul deep tiredness finally showed their grip on them. Their exhaustion was not only physical or spiritual, but a mix of both where their spiritual tiredness was so acute and strong it acted like a force field that would hit all others with a physical wave of tiredness.

'None of them have properly rested in centuries.' I realized in horror.

The others sent their approval in a short burst of either song or voice, for they were too tired to do so in both.

All of them except my husband started to eat and drink as his siblings finished ensured that their plates are always full and their pitchers filled with water and they walked among them to make sure they are comfortable and will not hurt themselves.

"Right, so as you all might know, our story both begins and ends from where I am right now, but as my lovely wife is not aware of it I will provide the background information one needs to understand my work, then I will begin providing the recap." My husband said as he finished drinking his last glass of water.

The rest of his siblings except his youngest ate and fell asleep as for the first time in centuries they could sleep peacefully and they already knew what I am about to hear, but I listened enraptured to the story of my husband's life.

"To all that are interested in hearing, I am Bessar Agail, adopted son of the Silver Hand, who is a Mortal Sword of Khaine, grandson of Slaanesh which has not been born yet, medicine peddler by craft and a Priest of Apocalypse by trade. I was stolen from my own grandmother after I had killed my own mother and father so that I may be turned into a weapon against her, something which I have just learned. I have killed my mother first yet seen her alive for hours longer than my father which I had killed in my first minutes of life, for my life up to this point has been a temporal Paradox I am too frightened to understand, for whoever has plotted it is so far beyond me in skill and ability I fear that if I do find how they were able to do I would quit my position from the feeling of inadequacy at my own ability.

I am the reincarnation of a soul which was once a Man and had read multiple plays speaking of our Reality despite coming from another and I am far too kind for my well being, for my soul is half-Eldar and half-Man and I am too weak to that which loves me and there are too many beings that love me now and it is for this reason that the Divine have demanded that I cease my schemes to kill my own Grandmother, for I have just found out that she loves me and my mother which I had left in my Tomb to rest and keep away from her. Thus ends the background knowledge one would need to understand my tale.

My play starts with my birth as a normal Eldar babe and not a beast of darkness and despair that feasts on the suffering of Eldar and needs the lullabies of their screams of fear to rest that I realize I am now. It starts with the first day of my life where I was born in an orgy and my own father fed me his seed as he used my newborn mouth as a sheath for his sword repeatedly as he fed me from it, and I cried and killed him for it as my first act in this life. I would kill my own mother paradoxically later and earlier than this.

I still shiver when I see white liquids.

For these acts Isha, which hoped that I would learn to heal the bodies and souls of others and mend relationships and strife between fools abandoned her blessing for me as she realized I would not give her such a play as she had hoped, and Khaine in his kindness, love and mercy granted me his and he expects me to kill the diseases of the soul that afflict us through my medicine peddling and that I would try and teach others the right lessons that so few people seem to be capable of learning and it is why in each play of mine I dedicate to him, I take an apprentice or at the very least pretend to, so that I may please him, for our people are fools and he wishes that we would learn what we should and it is why he pushes us so.

My early life was a kind one but it is where, like how my soul and thought split in two so does it split in two, for my early life is spent in two ways, one where I am an Eldar babe, with the gun soul of Man and a mind which is half Eldar and Half Man, and another in which I am a beast of Darkness and Despair whose soul is an Eldar Sword that does not realize it is so and thinks I am an Eldar in both soul, mind and body.

The human soul is kind, and in its kindness sought to help his older sister which struggled with her past lives, which is something he could understand for he struggled too, as no matter how hard she tried she could not find a life worth living and had been trying for twenty of them, and so I hid and forgave her mistakes as I tried to make her realize that she is loved and that I love her and that this life will be worthwhile, for she stays with family that loves her dearly and all that she has to do is let go of her fears and accept her love for us and ours of her. This is the first and hopefully final time my kindness was met with betrayal even as I continue to give it those who are not hateful to me and those I love freely freely, for after our father ripped out his own crystal heart to ensure the wards of our home would remain standing after his death, my Older Sister which was meant to guide her Younger Brothers and Younger Sister killed herself and left us alone to try and learn what we could. She did not even leave a message for others to come and try to find us, for she was the only one that could.

In the other half of my life, I was not a Man in an Eldar Body, but the Beast of Darkness and Grandson of Slaanesh who knew not of his destiny and was cruel and did not hide my sister's mistakes from our father who killed her for them when he realized she would not love and care for us, for she was an unfilial daughter and unfilial Children must be killed once they become too disrespectful as dictated by Divine Decree. In there I was raised as the Older Brother, even as my Younger Siblings were told of my condition and purpose so that they may treat me and my mind without me knowing and have even prepared a play dedicated to Slaanesh meant to sacrifice them so that I would reach safety, something which I scold them severely for, each time I learn more about, for by my will and that of our caretakers they should have let me die so that we would come one step closer to killing my grandmother. They refused such a fate and it has made me very wrathful at them even as my love for them grew beyond what I thought possible.

My two early lives were united the same as the two disparate lives I had lead had, through Murder and Death.

In both lives I have killed the son of a woman whose Madness was Divine and she tried to unite two timelines by sacrificing one of her sons in one timeline so that she could live with both him and the one I had killed in another. She failed in her purpose, for my siblings and I watched her in both timelines and we killed her and her child in both timelines and all she succeeded was uniting both disparate possibilities of who I am into one and so my soul became half human and half eldar which is also a beast of Darkness and Despair born of Love.

My siblings were similarly affected as their blessings and purposes changed and mixed and what was once three minds that could exist as both one and three interchangeably and easily became three souls and there minds turned into that which could only exist comfortably as one mind and who despite that, still try to pretend otherwise, even as I am aware of their struggle and their attempts at deception and I care not for it, for I love every single part of them, not merely their mind and I sincerely hope they would stop putting themselves in a position where I have to mourn them if they died, for I love them dearly now and forever.

My prologue ends with the tricking of the Wisest and Fairest of Craftworlders, a man I would later know is called Disseth Aisse of Craftworld Anaen which has learned the lesson of humility that both Mortal and Divine have been trying to teach Craftworlders since they have left the Empire in their stupidity.

I have named a hero Taraithe Tagasta, which had shot me and painted a deranged grin made of plasma on my face as she did so, and granted her a story to protect the fool with after he tried to sacrifice himself to atone for the mistakes of his subordinates. Her story taught the masks of Khaine how to sing again after Cegorach had made them forget oh so long ago and will hopefully grant the Madmen of Khaine the joy they have been lacking for so long.

Thus ends the prologue and first 53 years of my life and the play that is it and that I dedicate as my life's work to the Divine." My husband said and took a break to drink some water, and I clapped between tears as the prologue ended.

I went and hugged my parched husband who was still covered in the bandages and made sure the tragedy that he has written his life as will not finally kill him.

I fed him fruits and water and had is brother Aesan come heal him for his heart had stopped beating after he gave me the background knowledge and I could not intervene until he stopped to take a break to drink some water.

'Please please please, don't die my husband, please do not leave your children without a father!' I cried as our souls became as one for it was the only way for us to speak properly and not break the ritual that kept the Divine at bay.

His brother Aesan continued to heal him and I only stopped crying and kissing him when his heart started beating again. The other Followers of Hoeth can't move still for they are little better and his siblings have been trying to keep them alive for as long as my husband has been speaking and I am thankful that none died yet, for this is the first time in centuries any of them had been able to rest and the Eldar body is not meant to be able to run for centuries without break and if they did take a break they would have their minds invaded by Slaanesh which has been invading the mind of every single Seer and Madman that could see its birth so that it could gloat at their Demise.