Chapter 68:

Chapter 68: Diplomacy is a most worthwhile goal.



The man that stopped the soldiers from wasting their ammo at us was a man called General Alexander and he most certainly was not a diplomat or someone capable of officially talking to me, but his near encyclopedic knowledge of insults and expletives were most impressive and I will steal plenty of it from him. He was however kind enough to take me to their canteen to wait in privacy while his government figured our what to do with Eldar diplomats. Their first reaction was to try shooting us some more I would assume, which is an… I would not call it reasonable but expected response to having an Eldar diplomat on your world.

Few people want us there after all.

We were seated in the large room meant to feed an army with only two guards as general Alexander was busy screaming at the elected officials or bureaucrats he was talking to. My bet was that they were both but I was only hearing half a conversation so I couldn't say for certain. The metal chairs were small for my frame, but were about right for that of my Younger Sister as she was 2 meter tall and at the upper end of what the chairs were designed to accommodate. A 2.5 meters tall Eldar was probably not something they were designed to handle but I'll bear this indignity until better accommodations can be made.

Taking some indignities with humility is good for the soul after all, for Eldar without any humility are doomed to failure, for our Pride is earned and we must all remember that there might come a time when we lose it and act accordingly, for if we don't then it is guaranteed that we will do so.

"He is quite loud." My new younger sister said vocally in english.

It took little to implant the knowledge of English into her mind and now she spoke it with the same ease I was. I nodded with a smile and the soldiers snickered nervously at that.

His long sessions of cussing and teaching me new and excitingly creative insults and ways you could theoretically contort someone's organs were quite hilarious to listen to as his voice carried across the thin walls of the cantina, but I tuned them out for now. I had far more important things to do than learn new and fascinating ways to insult paper pushers.

It is a shame, for the man is a true erudite in the art of insults as far as humans go. They're a bit too short and direct for the taste of most Eldar, but the man more than makes up for it with the passionate delivery and sheer number of unique ways he uses that word in my opinion.

The word 'shit' in english truly is as versatile as the word 'fool' in most eldar languages, for you can use it in so many fun an interesting ways and you can always learn and invent new ways to use it and all you speak to can gain the gist of it when you do so.

"Is the general always so determined to keep you safe?" I asked the two men with brown eyes.

The general was shouting about how he is not throwing his men into fighting things that took on multiple tank hits and rockets to the face and didn't even feel them and was telling the 'shit garglers' to stop refreshing their breath and send him someone that will take us off his hands.

The two men keeping us company were very uncomfortable while their leader was talking with bureaucrats in the only spoken language they respect which is threats of violence one can back up. They were wearing face armor and a helmet and I could not see their faces, only their eyes, but judging by their thin eyebrows they had brown hair too. They seemed like good people from what little I could pick up from their souls. The people here did not have any psychic talent and this meant their souls were hiding from everything and everyone, including existence but I could still spot them.

The two gave each other a look as they tried to consider if they should talk with us. They were ordered to keep us safe and not do anything stupid, and answering innocent questions was hardly stupid.

"He's a good man sir. He screams a lot but looks after us when the pencil pushers want to cut corners or think that if they throw us in a position it means that it's ours now." The taller of the two said timidly.

Not veterans then, probably fresh out of basic if even that, as they wouldn't be so timid if they had some experience with fighting. They weren't even hugging their guns but kept away from themselves as they intellectually knew it wouldn't help them. Veterans will keep their weapons ready at all times, for it was their friend and would do their best to keep them safe and when in danger and uncertain soldiers would need any assurances they could get that they will return home.

Even false ones.

I considered his words, a good man that cares for his subordinates wasn't that rare a find, but it was a useful one, especially when they are a general, assuming that rank means what I am used to. Some of his words were referring to a Council of Marshals and I am pretty sure that's either a police rank, or the rank just below a general normally, but each world did things differently I suppose.

It made me wonder if I wasn't in police custody of all things, but I doubted it as the man spoke of claiming land and police are not those you think of when you mean to capture land, for they are the ones keeping the peace in a land claimed by others. Assuming the military and the police weren't the same thing on this world that is.

I need to learn more before I can tell for certain.

'We will not be talking of how the conflict goes until someone allowed to negotiate or hear us out comes, do you have any ideas what do you wish to talk about with these men? We need to get the rust off your human conversation skills and these two will be useful for that before we get to proper negotiations.' I sang to my Younger Sister.

We are here primarily for her benefit after all. She needs to get used to talking to humans again and getting friendly with them and the general was kind enough to not order his soldiers to remain silent, meaning we can talk and have fun together until their higher ups decide who to send. Having fun is always implied in everything humans do unless specifically stated otherwise after all.

"Shouldn't we talk of their political system, or how the conflict started?" She sang back.

I did not bother hiding my disappointment in our connection, as those aren't appropriate topics to start a friendly conversation with strangers on.

'No, that is a very bad way to start a conversation, as we are not having an academic discussion, but a friendly chat. Would you like to think of another topic or will I go with the standard one?' I asked back.

She started to think now and I wondered if she even knew what I was trying to do. I'm doing more than just talking after all.

'Maybe asking about their lives? I can't think of what else to talk about with them and talking about ourselves sounds like a good enough topic we could use to veer into a topic we want.' She said after a minute of thinking.

The general continued to sing the lullabies of his kind as the four of us stood in silence and awaited with amusement for news.

'That is… not as bad but still not ideal, but sure we'll go with that.' I acquiesced.

Making personal connections is a bit of a gamble, but such is fine as she needs to learn how diplomacy works.

'What is the standard way to start such talks?' She asked me in annoyance.

I do love it when people ask easy to answer questions, and I am glad she started noticing too as I make it quite obvious to anyone I interact with.

'For humans? Food.' I replied smugly.

It truly was the best way to open any conversation with 80% of all humans and 99% of men. It was an easy enough topic to broach and one most people did not think of as that important and thus would hide far less than normal as they speak of knowledge they considered normal without thinking how important it is. It was also a pleasant one too and having your hosts think fondly of you is always a good thing.

Food was linked with social contracts, family, farming, food distribution and processing and prices could be used to get an idea of the local conditions and might lead to comments about the war's status. It might also lead to us eating something as I wished to taste local human cuisine and I was a bit hungry. My contest with her father involved a lot of drinking and I needed to burn a lot of reserves to clean the alcohol from my body.

Eldar may not have fat, but we are still physical creatures and physical reactions require some sort of fuel.

'I think we should go with my idea.' The young and precocious child stated as she was unimpressed of the usefulness of using food as a conversation topic with humans.

It was standard for a reason and I wrote the foundational treatise on eldar to human diplomacy after all. But this was her chance to learn and it would not do to do the thinking for her as she needs to learn to think for herself.

I sang my agreement and promised I would set the stage for her to talk, as this is not an important talk after all, just something to get her started and re-accustomed with human societal norms, and so she can make some mistakes here with few consequences.

She needed to learn and if this is what she wished to do it is fine, but the more she interacts with others and learns of them and their struggles, the more their fates will be linked with hers as bonds form and they are pulled in into the gravitational field of her Narrative Momentum. This sort of nonsense is why I like separating the various arcs of the stories I craft.

If I make a clear delineation between one part of my life and the others, then with few exceptions once said part is over the people I met in it are safe from what I am doing in the next one, as what I do there no longer affects them, as I had already set their course and danced to the next bunch of fools I need to figure out how to help and that I attracted in my narrative momentum.

She is about the size of a small pebble for now as she slowly accumulates momentum in her mind and she affects the world around her and depending on what she does it will influence the direction of her life.

"While we wait, would you like to make some small talk? I am curious to learn more about my hosts and guards while we wait for the Good General to shame your government into competency. Also please sit, as it makes me feel bad to sit while those that I talk with stand." I spoke to the two guards standing in front of us across the table and motioned them to sit.

They are standing and whispering to one another about what to do now as Laciena Fiora prepares in her mind what topics she'll broach with them.

The taller man tells the shorter once that this is a bad idea, while the shorter one reminds his friend that they received orders to keep us comfortable and here and that they can't do anything to us if we decided to leave and I'm trying my best to not pay close attention to it or pay attention to their names.

I've told her that her past actions will carry her movements forward just as much as the narrative momentum of others, but I can't tell her everything about how it all works, as she won't understand things until she makes the connections herself.

All the things she values will become more prominent in her narrative, all of the people she meets and learn more of will be affected by her actions and the more she acts in a specific direction, the more she will pull people and everything around her towards said direction she is heading to. If she heads towards death so will all she cares about, and if she doesn't then those she meets along the way may still die or worse on the path towards where she is heading. Priests do not lead easy lives most of the time as to Dance for The Divine is a dangerous position, for they are picky with their entertainment and if you fail to impress then they'll start helping you improve and remedial lessons are never fun.

As a pebble things shouldn't be that bad and I should be able to correct most things and keep her safe from her own mistakes, but with the exception of keeping her alive and making sure her mistakes won't kill her in the near future I won't do so. She needs to learn some things by herself, as I can only bring her near the knowledge she seeks, but actual understanding is only for her to grasp.

All priests make our entire lives a series of art pieces dedicated to the Divine in whose interests we act. Some of us write poetry like Asurman and turn our actions and experiences into a verse that forms into stanzas that rhyme across the galaxy and that eventually add up and turn into something greater, while others like my cute little Nephews in the Masques of Cegorach turn theirs into theater plays. Unlike them and despite technically serving the interests of the same entity still, I turn mine into a story written in a book but I am not its author. None of us are the creators of our Art, not even the gods for they are our audience.

Reality is its author and I am only a character in the story of my life and because I was explicitly told this when given the chance to gain power I am far less capable of influencing my life than I would otherwise be. However, my cute little Younger Sister has not been told the exact nature of the Path of Priests that she walks, as I have omitted some important information, which meant that she might be able to trick herself into more freedom than I possess, assuming she does not make too many mistakes I need to correct.

I just hope I won't have too many mistakes to correct, as I would rather spend my efforts towards stopping the conflict rather than stopping my Younger Sister from screwing herself over and the fools on this world continue to refuse to interact with me as I sing to them.

They will pay for their indecisiveness, and the humans too if they prove as slow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"We will not discuss any classified materials or things that might get us in trouble, I hope you understand that." the taller John Hammond said.

It is a bit… superfluous to think their names full, for both men are called the same and using height to differentiate them is probably easier, but it is polite to remember people's names.

"I understand very well and will not ask of you anything that might be classified and if either I or my subordinate do so, just tell us that it is classified or that you would rather not say. Both of us are diplomats, military officers and priests after all, even if this is her first assignment." My Older Brother said with more charisma than the should possess.

The two relaxed at his words and how reasonable they were.

Things that can saunter into your home and nearly bankrupt you with a few words should not be able to do that, but the priests of Pantheon are just built different and they can bring you to bankruptcy by wishing to pay a small debt and will destroy all of your wealth if you don't let them pay you back.

"I am curious about your names though, is it normal for two individuals with the same name to be given the same assignments?" I asked the two men.

It wasn't the most useful question to ask, but starting with something as simple as names shouldn't be a too troublesome and serious a topic.

The two looked at each other with amusement at what was most likely a long running joke between the two as I played the role of an inexperienced young woman. I have lived for longer than both of them combined most likely, even if I have to add up my previous life to make certain, for I am only 47 years old in this life and these men don't strike me as much older than 20 each.

"No, it is not, but we were the only ones with similar names in basic and we decided to stick together as us John's should stick together. You can call me Tall John and my friend Short John." Tall John replied with amusement.

"I am curious of your job description though, diplomats, military officers and priests, that's quite a lot jobs to do for one organization." Short John started shortly after Tall John finished answering our question.

Tall John was the kinder one, while Short John the smarter it seems.

I looked towards Bessar Agail, he had more experience with the actual details of our organization. He nodded at me and I relaxed. I didn't know how to answer that question, properly as it was quite literally my second day on the job.

I know of Hoeth and Cegorach's duties and that of their priesthoods when they operated as I was taught by father what all official organizations did when they served their gods openly.

The issue is that the Speakers of Apocalypse were founded after Hoeth became Cegorach from the existing organizations that served Hoeth consolidating over time and their remnants uniting into one entity over time and they have shed plenty of duties and taken others in the meantime. I was not taught about what the Damned get up to, for nobody with sense wants to know.

What you don't know of can't harm you after all, at least most of the time.

Hoeth's priesthoods handled either diplomacy, the preserving of history, served as intelligence and logistics officers in the Armada, Looked over the Proto-Orphanages and Libraries called the White Towers, and taught children how to read and write. They also took only one task from among those, but the Speakers of Apocalypse took many, for they were the last one still following Hoeth's will and I still wasn't given a full debriefing.

I would need to finish the proper rituals of honoring an Orphanage dedicated to the Pantheon for that.

"It is and I agree with you on that, but unfortunately it is necessary due to the current political and theological situation in the Empire as Diplomacy with other peoples has fallen on the wayside in recent times, and it is unfortunately the type of situation that ends with Orbital Bombardments." My Older Brother replied and gave them the longest non-answer one could give and still remain polite.

"We certainly have experience with it ourselves now." Tall John muttered.

I winced at that for I could also feel Short John's agreement even if he did not vocalize it. Now on this world I could hear the screams more clearly as both humans and Eldar ere dying and I sincerely wished to stop it.

"Yes, so does my poor little apprentice priestess, for her family had given her to me after a… theological conflict could we say… started between some of the priests of her world and it started with orbital bombardment and it extended so much that servants of other gods including myself were involved. She was given to me by her fearful father that wished her a joyful life shortly before her mansion and family were erased from existence and now the child is my responsibility to raise and train, but let us talk of lighter topics. I am quite interested in hearing of your time during your training in the armed forces as soldiers always have good stories from their training days." My senior explained as his voice dropped with sadness.

His words were true, but they were also a complete and total mockery of the events that happened as he stood at the center of those events and was the cause of them.

I could see their eyes soften at his words though. They did not lose any family in the conflict if they could still show us those eyes.

"I am sorry to hear it Laciena, I can't imagine it was easy." Tall John said kindly.

"Yes kid, can't imagine how it feels like to lose your family." Short John continued.

What did it say about me that I was more annoyed about them using a half-name, than I cared about their compassion. Half names are only used among family and the closest of friends one wishes to have them join their family.

It was also an attempt at begging for mercy, but that doesn't apply here.

I most certainly do not wish to marry any of them, or think so fondly of them as to allow this but I hid my annoyance and accepted the condolences in the spirit they were given. I am a diplomat now and I cannot let any instance of cultural misunderstandings annoy me too much.

I could feel Bessar Agail's amusement rolling off of him now. He was awaiting to see how I would react to it.

"I thank you for it and accept it in the spirit it was given, but I would truly rather not talk about it. Also please use my full name Laciena Fiora as Fiora is not a family name, for my world does not have them, and to use a half-name is a sign of familial familiarity and I am neither related to you nor interested in marrying you." I replied with only half mimicked chagrin.

It wasn't that big a deal but it is better to not let misunderstandings fester. As of marriage? I'll let father handle that assuming I can't find somebody while the current crisis is going on as I can't be bothered to think about it for now.

Tall John started blushing and stammering as his shorter friend started laughing at his misfortune and even my Older Brother chuckled.

'You are doing well so far, they have relaxed a bit and I am quite proud of you.' He sang to me with amusement.

I thanked him for it in song, but remained focused on the men in front of me.

"Only you… only you could try to charm the first alien you talk with." Short John wheezed as he tried to stop his laughter.

The other man covered his face in embarrassment with his hands until he remembered that one of us gave him an out and I did not need to listen to his mind or soul to detect mischief, for it was obvious to anyone with eyes, for his eyes were filled with mischief as he looked at his best friend.

"Old Man Alexander did tell us to keep our guests comfortable, and I got just the story from basic to share with them." He said with mock seriousness.

The man looked in horror at his taller friend and started gesticulating wildly.

"C'mon bro, please don't do this to me, you know I was joking." Short John pleaded as he held his hands in prayer.

"I would be interested in hearing it too, as it sounds like an excellent way to lift the mood." I said with a smirk.

The man looked away from the two beings with a shred of mercy in our hearts and looked pleadingly to the creature who's never had any.

"A good story sounds like an excellent way to pass the time, and it would be an interesting change to not have to be the one saying it for once." Bessar Agail said softly as amusement rolled off him.

Tall John took his words as the final signal to start his story.

"Right, the story happened two years ago, when we had just started basic, and this hunk of a man did not know that you don't mess around with the barracks bunny, or even what that was and he wanted to ask her out of all things." He started as two eldar priests listened to the story of the misadventures of a man in love.

Tall John started to tell us one of their stories from basic when he realized that the barrack bunny was his uncle's former wife and I did not bother to hide my amusement or laughter at his look of misery as the story continued. Even with most of his face covered, all could see the embarrassment in his eyes and it was most delicious.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Thank you for your assistance Admiral." I thanked the man in orbit.

We were in the conference room now and me, the Council of Marshals and the Admiralty were all talking to one another as we prepared for our part of the current catastrophe to be over.

I was sitting in an empty room looking at a large screen, but all seven of the marshals were present, and so was Admiral Smith who represented the Admirality.

"What is a bit of coup d'état, between friends?" The older looking man said after a few seconds of delay.

He was younger than me at 50 years old while I stood at 62, but you could not tell from the way we looked. I still looked respectable in my waning years while the man looked like he was one foot from the grave.

The military took the first chance we got to end this conflict with the aliens, after their government sent a diplomat and the useless pencil pushers wanted to just bomb them because the useless shitstain that won a popularity contest lost his family in the early days of the conflict. For once the elected bureaucrats decided that they would honor their promises by 'fighting to the end' and it is in the one conflict we're losing.

"Yes, hopefully the president will cool down once peace is achieved." I replied tiredly.

Planning and executing a coup in four hours was tiring and nerve wracking, but the Council of Marshals were getting desperate and decided to bet everything on this being legit. It was our only chance at survival which is why all of we were so desperate and quick to act.

The Eldar had been hitting our logistics and food shortages will hit us shortly, and the water is rationed as the monsters destroyed most of our damns and while we can fight them on the ground thanks to our numerical superiority, we are really months away from civilizational collapse as our farms burn or drown and our water supply dwindles. And the moron in charge wanted to drop a nuke on the ones that might save us.

I wanted to have him face the firing squad, but the Marshals have decided he'll just face life in prison as he did manage to keep the people calm until now.

Now the Hexan people live under a junta, but they will live at least and not face extinction at the hand of the xeno.

"What do you know of the diplomats general Alexander?" Marshal Anderson asked me.

He was my direct superior, and distant cousin and it was the reason he was so cordial with me.

"There's two of them, Bessar Agail which is the senior diplomat and Laciena Fiora which is his understudy. From what my watchers have been telling me, the man is charismatic and they believe he has plenty of experience with our kin across the stars. The two men I've left to look after them and feed us intel with their hidden microphones have not been able to gather much, except the fact there might be some religious civil war among the xeno as the younger of the two had lost her family in it if what my analyst told me before this conference started is true." I answered.

There was silence across the people gathered as they took in the information. None of us were diplomats and we could not make use of the knowledge, as the Eldar were not using anything but local resources and what they've come with.

"Do we have a diplomat available to send to talk to him or will one of us do it?" Marshal Carson said, her voice pulling us from our ruminations.

"We can just bring him here to talk with us." The Admiral said.

"Shouldn't we bring the rest of the Admirality into it as well?" I asked.

There was only one admiral of five here after all, while all of the seven Marshals were here and I did not want the madmen in the void to think they are not a part of the new order.

My fears were proven to be unfounded and alleviated by the Admiral's next words.

"They are listening and will vote if needed be, but I am their representative for now as we do not have the means to make a conference that includes all of us due to time dilation. In case something needs to happen all of us vote and if both groups reach a majority we go with it, do all of you agree?" He interjected.

All nodded or said yes and I breathed a sigh of relief. I did not have a vote but it was fine, as it seems that the Admirality and the Marshals put their bickering on hold for now.

"Shall I bring the diplomats in the conference room then sirs?" I asked as I prepared to rise.

"Yes general, please do so." My superior said and it was an order.

I saluted and rose from the table and went to bring them. Hopefully the conflict will be done soon.

I touched my radio piece at my ear and contacted my analysts.

"Lieutenant Miranda, are the diplomats still in the mess hall?" I asked the woman I tasked with gathering all information she could gleam from our guests.

It took a few seconds for her to reply as I power walked towards the Mess Hall.

"Yes general, they are eating something now, and talking about potatoes." She replied.

That can't be right, why would they be talking about that?

"Why are they doing that Lieutenant?" I asked the woman.

"They've been talking for more than four hours sir, and they have kept away from talking about the conflict, so what else are they to talk about? They already shared embbarrasing stories from the past." The woman responded with what I imagined to be a shrug.

That was fair enough I suppose.

"Understood, continue listening to them Lieutenant." I ordered.

"Yes sir." She acknowledged and I closed the call.

I saluted my men as I walked towards the mess hall and thought of what my life has become.

Three years since the invaders came, two years of sabotaged infrastructure death and burning ships as we tried to survive aliens whose only words for us were a variation of 'Get out'. Now we have a chance at ending things and putting this behind us. Our estimates put our population at nine billion now, two less than when we started and the only reason it isn't lower is because the invaders allow refugees to run put greater pressure on our civilization after they've destroyed the food production.

I saluted the two guards outside the mess hall and entered in to a sight I was not expecting. I was expecting the four individuals to be eating some rations, and not fries, potato soup and is that puree? And where did they get the milk? We don't have any on base.

The two guards rose from the table across their charges and saluted.
"General, reporting for duty, sir!" The Hammond brothers shouted at the same time.

"At ease men, I'll let you finish up your meal and take it from here." I said as I saluted them back.

I was doing a lot of saluting when I should be sleeping, but war waits for nobody, and neither does peace.

"Ah General Alexander, I see that your… Council of Marshals was it?... has decided to send someone to talk to us. We will be taking our plates with us if that's alright and come meet with whoever they sent. Unless you and them will join us? I've made plenty of food." The senior diplomat said as he turned his head towards me.

I sighed, why did they let the diplomat cook, we could have brought someone to cook for them.

"No need, Bessar Agail, I'll wait for you to finish then we can go meet the Marshals and Admirals as they've agreed to a conference." I replied.

His eyes widened and I could see the younger lady turn towards her senior and a silent conversation happened between the two. The xeno did not need to open their mouths to talk, this took us a year to learn but we've learned that all of them are witches to one extent or another.

I was not surprised by the fact they were talking like this out of sight, for we learned to do the same, if not with telepathy but electronic means as they do not have the means to translate binary yet.

"Excellent news general, and there's no need, we'll rush there right now and hopefully end this war sooner. Laciena Fiora, come as we have some negotiations to do, and friends thank you for complimenting my food. It's been fun using human cooking utensil again and I thank you for letting me do it." The older diplomat said as both him and his younger charge rose and come near me.

So they let him cook because he asked for it.

"Excellent job privates. Finish your meal then get back to your quarters to get some shut eye, tomorrow is a rest day." I informed the two.

They and the rest of those near the arch missed dinner, and while the others received some rations, they didn't and some food will do them well and it smelled quite good.

"Yes sir." The two shouted.

I turned towards the two xeno and did my best to hide my emotions from my face as I addressed them.

"Please follow me, I will take you to the conference room." I told the two.

They did as I asked and followed, the elder to my right, and the younger girl to my left and I had to stop myself from yawning.

We were one hour from sunrise and I hoped that as the sun rose and the darkness vanished so will all our troubles.