Chapter 53:

Chapter 53: Matters of Spirit and Body are a priest's to resolve.


My adulthood started as a ritual and it could be argued most of my childhood was a ritual as well. Even if the Patriarch of the Orphanage were to have survived until I and my siblings reached adulthood he would not have assisted us in our escape and at most avenged us if we died.

We are priests, we are meant to cause narrative momentum, we are meant to learn to cause and increase our momentum and as Followers of Hoeth we need to constantly keep it going to guarantee results, for we have no place in a setting that would help us. If he could have, father would have continued teaching us, he would love us and grant us every single advantage and help he could provide short of actually directly assisting us, and he would have done an excellent job because we would need the momentum to survive.

Without our own increasing momentum to escape the settings that the Divine try to put us into, we would be forced into playing the role they wish of us and we have our own directives and we can't do that.

The First Ritual is a race of secrecy and survival, we would leave the Orphanage with all of the skills, rituals, abilities and advice we could get and if we manage to remain hidden, we would be able to avoid the attention of the divine a lot easier in the future and escape a lot of nonsense thrown at us as we create a veil of narrative that makes it harder and harder for people to find us and easier to escape if they do.

This is necessary because every single Divine short of Slaanesh wants us to bring back Hoeth, because Hoeth and us, the broken remnants of the many Orders of Hoeth, be they the Sword Masters of Hoeth, the Ancient Loremasters of the White Towers and many others whose names nobody else remembers all have a single duty, even if the way they went about it was different.

That duty is 'Maintain the defenses against foreign threats and nonsense and document them so we know how to handle them if they return or become hostile.' and with the Birth of Slaanesh approaching and considering she was technically born from a foreign threat, this makes her our responsibility and that of Hoeth and due to this each of the Divines wish to get Hoeth back, even if they love Cegorach, because it's his job to deal with her and Boredom. Issue is that once she would be born, she would be a fully 'eldar' goddess meaning Hoeth would not even care as he's eaten.

The Speakers of Apocalypse are the last ones standing and we have our directives in how we can operate and what we need to do.

The gods don't know and don't care about our nonsense, for they see a foreign threat and they want it gone and it's Hoeth's job to deal with it and so they want him back and it is why we keep running from them, we keep interactions to a minimum and try our best to not interact with our people for long beyond the need to deal with Slaanesh and her nonsense.

We have directives from Hoeth, and he's to be back only after Slaanesh is dead or no longer an Eldar Goddess and the reason is that if she gets access to the Apocalypse Vaults we're screwed.

All civilizations have their WMD's, the Eldar have been around the longest of the species of the Great Wheel, with perhaps some scavangers and the Necrons being capable of claiming they have a comparable period of existence. If Slaanesh gets access to what we have stored, the first thing she'll do is throw all of that at whatever she feels like and will kill us for it.

WMD's are restricted by treaty unless someone hits first and there are Empires outside the galaxy or in Realities nearby we quite frankly would rather pretend do not exist and they wish the same of us, and starting problems with WMD's is a good way to get problems from everyone around and if you want anything in the Empire you need to follow proper rituals to get the best results and nobody with sense will trust Slaanesh with anything important. Not bothering species that rule galaxies and have been doing for longer than the lifespan of many stars is just a smart choice and everyone wins if we and them do so.

Not like we have anything the other really needs or can't get in an easier way somewhere else anyway.

Also, speaking of 'best results' I am unsure if that would describe me as I am right now.

My skin is wrinkly, my eyes gaunt and I feel a deep exhaustion that transcends both the physical and spiritual, for it comes from both and the same time and it is greater than the sum of its parts for it.

I look like a Dark Eldar that hasn't fed on other people's suffering in too long, for I have technically done the opposite and fed people too much of my soul to make theirs whole, and most of those women were older than me too. Not sure if all of them as I haven't checked, but still, I am running on fumes and can barely move.

My craft requires me to split parts of my soul into weapons so I am used to the feeling of taking pieces of my soul and can resist the effects, a bit from the human part and a bit from the eldar part to form a gun-sword and others can approximate it well enough if their souls are the right shape.

I can even donate most of my Love or other emotions to another and be fine mostly. I can't heal two women from soul-death, another from having her soul crippled and a fourth to help on top of that in one sitting and not feel it. My concubines don't yet know how to just give love directly and their souls are too tender to learn so I am stuck like this, because I certainly don't know how to take and feed on others either and even if I knew I am not feeding on Vermin infested by Chaos or on my family.

If they want me to have their love, they have to give it to me for I won't just take it, as I am a man and not a parasite.

My new concubines certainly look worried for me or at me… or both. I am too tired to tell and my human half of the soul is not good at handling Eldar expressions either. They also wear the uniforms I asked them to wear too which makes me glad to see it too.

Black Armor does look lovely on Eldar with with red hair and beautiful faces, especially when it is both thicker than normal, form fitting and does not have any exposed skin. A pity I can't get them to wear a helmet too, for they are are vain creatures but I am sure I'll convince them to wear some when they do something they feel is actually important and not only 'ritual nonsense'.

Or maybe I could convince them to wear something like the Sword Masters of Hoeth? They did have some helmets that did not cover the entire face, so I'll try and see how that goes when I can think and sing clearly.

I am returning to factory settings the Old Ones made me to operate at, and it's only the human half of my soul that it's keeping me from plotting the downfall of my enemies and that of those of my concubines and instead managed to get my body and sputtering eldar half-soul to a compromise none wanted, not even it, but it had to play mediator to make sure all of us got what we needed and wanted.

"Gua Fiarra, it is necessary for you to do so. You must take revenge as my family on those that made your children dance as you did before adulthood." I said.

I can't rip apart the bodies of those that turned my concubines children into prostitutes so they can feed one another. If they did so as adults that would have been fine but I can't not care.

The human part of my soul sees them as enemies to kill now, the social expectations the Eldar part had Loved into it by Gua Bis demand I must do something to avenge them and my body only knows I have an enemy and wants it dead and it takes a lot to stop an Eldar from doing something when every fiber of their being craves it but stop it I have to do.

I was raised in an orphanage, my siblings and I tried our best at being civilized and not being war machines and that ended with some bad pranks, some horribly embarrassing attempts at trickery and us being one hard situation away from being animals with a mission.

Eldar children need socialization to be civilized, they need Love to shape their mind into Eldar and not what the Old Ones hoped for us.

It should have been the work of our caretakers to do so for us but they died before we even gained a name. Failing that it should have been the work of the one that was taught the most, which should have been our Former Older Sister, but she ran and left us alone with only lessons to instruct us and the well wishes of people we've never met before we even had a name.

When we started the ritual of Adulthood of the Orphanage we weren't Eldar, we were the Small Singing Swords of the Ancients kept in line by the barest hints of Eldar Civilization we could get from the writings of the Orphanage and each other and what little Human civilization the Human soul could grant them.

The Eldar soul and his siblings were worse, as they were animals whose soul and mind were one and all they had to guide them were instructions on who the enemy is to be and how they can contribute.

I was socialized in the House with the Silver Door, my take on culture the barest hints of human and Eldar culture my siblings and I could build together and then made whole by Scarn Laddon and Gua Bis and her clan accepting us fully and welcoming us in their song and even if we were not family, for we were friends and thus a part of their song until we became members of the same clan.

What I didn't get there I got after getting married.

"My Master and husband are you certain of it? We truly do not mind and neither do they, as such is life." The woman who sold herself and her family into concubinage to me said.

All four of them were near me and tried to convince me of not doing as I needed but they are foolish women, my foolish women now, and that carries certain duties and expectations.

Ghela Eimmar was my concubine, a subordinate-wife and bearer of my children and song and the one whose family I inherited the slights of in exchange for providing them protection, purpose and guidance.

This is what a concubine is, it is a position where one accepts to be half-family where they receive the benefits of being a family in exchange for becoming subordinates and not equals to the one they married to and as they are subordinates to me and not my peers I do not need to present them to my wife for approval, for the Divine knew what she would demand for it and she would demand I stay and do not leave and I cannot give her that.

Her and her family's freedom and joy will come from me only giving them a purpose they are free to partake in or not and would only be limited as a request from family and not an oath and it is the best I could give them.

I inherited their slights and as I am their superior, it is by my definition that slights are defined and by my definition having sex with minors and most importantly family that is so counts as a severe slight too at that.

In the culture of my human half of the soul, those targeting our children for sexual advances were hanged or killed by whatever means available or found preferable, cut into pieces and then fed to pigs if we were feeling generous and the state had no way to find out we wished to do it. We were also willing to not bother with the last one if no pigs were available or skip the first one if we were in a hurry.

If the state found out, we would be paying their fellow inmates what we could to do it for us if we could arrange it too, because those things aren't escaping with merely rotting in jail if we can do it and get away with it. Their fellow inmates are kind enough to do it for us for free sometimes too, but you can't count for people to do something for free and you need to give them a gift first, but nobody minds it when it can get you something important.

"I have inherited your slights and that is a slight as far as I am concerned, and I cannot act myself, for it would break the agreements between the Priesthoods of Hoeth and Cegorach and those of the New Divine. However, you responding to slights done against yourself is normal and expected and I need to do something as decreed by the Divine Decrees ruling the founding of families and concubinage or I will be unpious or worse, go back on my deal with you and you concubine-sisters under the watch of the Divine. I also welcomed you into my heart, and I am not letting this slide." I explained softly

They nodded at that and sang that those that slighted them would die for it. They were all gathered around the bed I claimed them as mine and a few days had passed since then and my situation has improved enough that I can slowly walk with some assistance.

Six women and twelve men had taken members of my family under the sheets and stars when they were minors and they were not, and all of them must die for it by the standards of the cultures I was socialized in.

My Eldar socialization at the Love of Gua Bis demanded that I protected children too, my own or those of my family mostly, but it made allowances for those that had none and I could ask my family or subordinates for help.

I am not a man among men and I can't do like Ulthuan does instinctively where he spreads civilization and helps children without thinking or caring for laws and I need help, compromises and someone to do things for me, and to my shame I now need to do so even when doing it for my family.

The human part of my soul has certainly never felt as ashamed as it is feeling now in its two lives, for it can't take revenge on those that did the unspeakable to his family and he should be the one doing it not them, but like always the laws prevent us from taking revenge on those that harmed us, for the Tyrants hold law to stand above human nature then make laws that protect those with power from those without and thus put themselves above the civilization they rule.

'It is not like this here, the laws exists to keep us from being animals, and they apply to the Divine equally and are just as enforced, you know this.' The eldar half of my soul whispered to the human half as it grumbled about civilization and how all should be like Ulthuan, for he is a civilized man with no care for laws and he proved you don't need that nonsense.

Ulthuan did not fully understand what he did when he saved more than 200 children in a day, for him he was just saving children as he was taught and wished others would do for him and have done to him. For the culture of his new world, he was spreading civilization to others and preventing them from falling into barbarism.

He took children from burning Wombs and guaranteed they would be brought to civilization where others could love them and turn wild animals into people and was asked an important question by the Warriors that wished to verify that him and those they captured were people and not vermin.

'Are you a person worthy of citizenship and person-hood?' They asked the Unlucky souls that had to prove it.

They had to prove it by taking the Penance of giving a child Civilization into their souls and loving them when they had nothing to start from, no song of family, no friends and nothing except housing provided to them by the princess or those that would take them in.

Ulthuan decided to say to the warriors and other Unlucky Ones that told him they cannot or will not help them one sentence and then he started running.

'Damned barbarians, there's children we can save!' He shouted as the rest of the Unlucky ran and did not return.

He took a child for himself, found some women to tell him where an orphanage is, which 'happened' to be Sil Orgaus and her eldest daughter, left his new son to them then proceeded to grow seven pairs of Wraithbone arms and started diving back into flames that eat and melt the soul of those that touch them and took those he found to the Orphanage he was told about.

And then he did again.

And again.

And again.

And then Again and he did so until he could find none he was allowed to save anymore.

'That thing is not a man.' everyone that heard of it said and thought and sang.

Ulthuan was to men as men were to beast, for he was a man among men who decided to give children that had no family and no chance at civilization without him there as many chances as he could give them at it and did it while it burned parts of his soul to even try.

His Penance was to prove he was capable of civilization, and for that he needed to love a child he had no choice but to, then proceeded to show barbarians that they were barbarians and help a lot more than he had to, because he is Eldar and he is civilized and civilized people do more than the bare minimum they need to to get by, and the fool dared to think that helping such a man is not an honor.

It should have clued me in then that Eldar outside the Empire are not like those in it, but I was an idiot and did not think of it and thought that he was jesting. We've accounted for that now and we're making sure now that the Cratworlders understand exactly what they are meant to be doing and why after the fool decided to earn more favors than the Eldar mind can comprehend and the Priesthoods of Hoeth and Cegorach are now at a loss.

We can't calculate the number of favors we own to the madman. He taught us of the difference between Eldar in the Empire and the Eldar outside of it in one day and gave us a tool that would help us sleep in safety in the same day and something short-circuited in the way we can act with him because the Eldar mind keeps accurate track of debts and it is not meant to calculate the favors we own someone for saving our entire species from our own stupidity with a few words.

I am very scared of whatever species can do that, for it certainly is not Mankind or the Eldar, or the Necrons or anyone that I've ever heard of.

'A secret of the seers outside of the Empire is that someone is always watching, with the combining of our two tools I have made something that prevents one individual from being seen by any but the one holding your Dream Murder Charm.' He told to my stupefied self.

'What do you mean only seers know this?' I asked him and he explained and I felt I needed to crack my head to a wall till it broke and then do so to another wall and another until my skull broke.

My siblings stopped me that day, if only barely in order to not have to explain why I was digging holes through Wraithbone by smashing my head through it but it was a close thing.

My siblings and I and the rest of our new clan explained to him that all adults in the Empire know this, because the Gods are always watching us and expect the adults to perform for them, and it was his mouth that gaped open wide when he heard it.

After I left that world, the Followers of Lileath were asked kindly to help us find out what we can actually do to help him, because we don't understand what he's thinking and why and because we're clueless as to how to repay him and we are awaiting the list. We already gave him the easiest things we could offer him to let him know what we wish to do and will provide more as soon as we know what he wants.

Until then we continue our plots and plans, but before I can get to doing that properly I need to go on some errands while my concubines take revenge in my name for slights done against them that they do not care for but I do.

It would also serve as their first proper fight and ritual in my name and I eagerly await to hear news of their success.

My wives nodded at my words and started to help me get dressed. Walking will be a challenge but I need to get going faster and if I am doing something I am not thinking of burning worlds because right now my Eldar half is the one that has to ask the human one for restraint because it is the mind of a Man and it is his duty to avenge the women of his family when they are harmed and it cannot do so now.

Suil Drithis was kind enough to make me a Wraithbone Cane to help me walk and asked her only adult family member that is not my concubine to look after me while my concubines started getting their revenge.

Maybe when they took their revenge my left eye would stop glowing, as it always glows when I wish to Murder something and it's been some time since I sincerely wished to Murder something and the eye loves telling me how I might be able to kill what I am looking at when it glows.

The left one glows only when the human side wants something Murdered, the right one when it is the Eldar one, and they change from one side to the other when both do and right now the human soul wants a lot more than the rest of my self to Murder anything it can get its hands on that wronged it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"GET BACK IN LINE MAGGOTS!" Sarge voice's echoed in my head.

It was the only thing that kept me from trying to rush forward. It would be useful for the eldar demons were stronger than me and had stopped me from trying to kill them before.

I had to try to keep still or wait for a moment where my death would be useful.

I am Marcus Aurrus, a soldier of the Siccian Confederacy, we don't bow or let others enslave our people without a fight and yet me and those I am meant to protect are slaves. We are slaves and chattel to be cooked by the mad things to beautiful to be as evil as they are.

They cook us in front of the others, they experiment on us and they keep us in chains and among our own filth and it seems today it would be my turn.

The beautiful Eldar woman with blonde clothing wore clothes and not stripes today and bowed as she spoke to the wrinkly priest that was shouting at her in their language that sounds more like song than speech.

It was dressed differently than the others and it had a weird carved head on a necklace and a silver gauntlet, but we were taught to recognize a priest when we saw one at least.

'Today is the day I die.' I thought calmly.

He had been looking at me and I knew it is I that would be chosen and I would make sure I would not die without a fight.

I turned to my subordinates, the last soldiers of my command left to me and it was our duty to protect the last civilians we could.

They were scared, they wanted home, they had no weapon and no hope of achieving anything.

"I will try to kill the wrinkly bastard, do not intervene as more of us might be killed, then there's nobody to look after the civvies." I whispered to my men.

They were dirty, wore not even rags and from their eyes I knew they hated my order and that they would follow it. Nods met me as the civilians whimpered at the way the Ancient thing looked at us. There were six of us and fourteen civilians and all them are fresh from training and idiots, but they were my idiots. When I die they'll have to pick who among them leads them. I don't know who to pick from them because neither of them has ever had an intelligent thought going through their minds.

They are my idiots though and only I get to tell them that.

I looked at thing looking at me with something resembling kindness, but that I knew it was not. That was the look Eldar chefs gave to their food before cooking them.

"I greet you honorable soldier of your people, I am Bessar Agail, a senior priest of the Speakers of Apocalypse and I have excellent news for you, your fellow soldiers and those you have taken to protect. I am sorry for scaring you and speaking with you like this but I do not know your language. Are you their leader? Your enslaver certainly thinks so, but she's an idiot that was spiritually ill until recently and continues to be mentally ill and I can't help her with that and I need to make certain." The demonic thing spoke softly in my mind like the rest of his people.

"I am Lieutenant Marcus Aurrus of the Siccaran Confederacy and I will tell you nothing Demon." I replied spitefully as I prepared to attack.

" Good, so you are at least an officer, this makes it much simpler. Lieutenant Marcus Aurrus, by treaty between the Pantheon of the Eldar and the Imperium of Man you are hereby released from Slavery, granted the protections all Civilized Friends of the Eldar People are entitled to by the Empire of Ten Millions Suns and its Pantheon and you will be given to a world in service of the Emperor of Mankind or the Omnissiah of Mars as soon as I can arrange it, unless you wish to take another deal." It spoke and I froze.

"What? I've never heard of any Imperium of Man, an emperor or Omnisiah! What nonsense is this?" I shouted from the floor.

The civilians and my men were shuffling nervously and I realized what the decrepit thing was trying to do to us.

This thing wishes to give us hope before cooking us.

"There is no trick, The Speakers of Apocalypse are the last of what you would probably call Bureaus responsible of Foreign Military Intelligence and Diplomacy and we have officially recognized your people as civilized people and as friends by treaty a few months ago and as such by law cannot keep you as slaves and those of my Order and other orders descended from it must release you and your people if we find you to be enslaved. Please do not fight me, for I am frail, tired and can barely walk for now, hence the cane and I truly wish to help you for I know how it is to live among the Spiritually ill of my people. Please Lieutenant think of the people under your care, they deserve to live and have someone to look after more than you deserve to hate, and even if I lie, then I am sorry to tell you this but even as I am you cannot harm me. My youngest Concubine's sister, Bria Cinea, could kill all of you by herself before you notice it, so please trust me when I tell you that this nightmare at the very least is over.

It is only hard work and it's consequences that await us now." It spoke and I hated it.

I hated the thing, I hated how right it was and I hated that my duty forced me to take his deal.

I looked at the woman in the Black armor. She had a pistol and a simple sword at her hip and had more weapons than all of us combined. She had red hair that was common among them and was just as beautiful as the rest of the demonic Eldar.

"I… I… I'll take at your word Bessar Aggail, please set us free." I said weakly.

I really wished to go back home. The woman started to free us from the chains and slowly cleansed us of the dirt and filth, for the Eldar would only clean us before a meal and did not even give us buckets to shit and piss in as they chained us together. I could feel she was healing us too.

"I thank you for it and I am sorry for what you have gone through. Also the Imperium of Man is the nation that now rules most if not all of the Homeworld of Mankind which is called 'Terra'. It is with them that we have made this treaty and they should be annexing your government and the rest of the human governments in a few centuries, as they are the closest thing to a successor the Old Federation of Man could expect to have and they were your representatives and those of your species when they still existed." He said when I finally stood up.

The woman also gave us some white tunics with a curved blade on them to wear.

"Thank you, Bria was it?" I said as she handed me my own tunic.

It was comfortable and it felt good to be clean and dressed again.

"Bria Cinea, calling me Bria is a form of endearment and closeness we do not have between each other. I will be your caretaker on behalf of the Cult of Strife as I teach you what you need to know and make sure you don't harm yourself until my sister's husband either arranges for your transport to Terra, or you agree to his deal." She said.

Even her thoughts sounds lovely and lyrical.

"What deal?" I asked her.

I was told of a possible deal but not what it was.

My men were already organizing the civvies after they explained to them that we are being set free.

"Bessar Agail will tell you once we reach the shelter he prepared for you. I know you are not aware of it and don't mean harm, but your soul song is incredibly infuriating to listen to, please try to not think at me and look after your people and coordinate them for me. It's giving me a headache having them all try and speak and sing and think at me when the three of them don't fully match in pitch, volume or contents." She said.

I don't know what she's on about, none of my men are psykers, we can't think at her, but it is fine.

"I'll handle it, thank you again and I'll try to reduce the issues." I told her.

I started organizing the group of twenty idiots I now have to make sure will not put us back in chains.

I don't trust the Eldar to not put us back in them if they get annoyed.


AN:
Bria Cinea =Briathra cineálta= Kind Words